Is this rude?

Question

I have a friend who is super clingy and annoying. lately, she's been signing up for everything that i do whether it's sports, classes, etc. just today she called my house and cell phone 5 times. when i finally answered the phone. she asked me if i wanted to hang out and i was baking so i said maybe later before i go snow tubing with some other friends at 6:00 . my baking cookies turned out to be a disaster and took way longer then i wanted and when i finshed, it was about 5:00. so, i didnt call her because i had to get ready. so, later im on aim and i tell her that im sorry i didnt call her, that my cookies were disasterous and took way to long. and this is what she says "Yeah, im suprised you didn't invite me to come over or invite me to go tubing." i told her that she was being rude and she got really mad. do you think its rude? and, how do i let her know she can be to clingy without having her explode like she always does? thanks.

Answer 1

Let her know that each of us has boundaries, and that as much as you like her as a friend, she is overstepping those boundaries when she gets too clingy and invites herself into activities. Tell her that you guys aren't joined at the hip, and as much as you enjoy doing stuff with her, each of you needs some space.

Answer 2

I don't think her comment was rude, and I don't think you should have told her that she was being rude by expressing her feelings. After all, she didn't say something like "you should have invited me to go with you," she just said she was surprised you didn't. It would have been better if you handled this differently, by explaining why you didn't invite her (put in gentle terms). But, you do need to talk to her if she is annoying you by being clingy. This needs to be out in the open, for both your own good as well as hers. Just talk to her, in person, at a good time and place, and be kind about it. Just simply tell her how you feel, and try and come up with some solution on the best way to work things out.

Answer 3

I had the same exact prob a few yrs ago. This may~ be the same girl we're talking about...(LoL~!) She was actually a gf of a friend's friend...so I thought how dare they push her onto me to *babysit* or keep her company. Anyhow, i felt bad, and her bf at the time sed that she doesnt really have many friends and her co-workers even didnt like her...so I took the chance and tried to invite her to things once in a while...but then with my already established long time grp of friends-we had our own things to do. Id occasionally ask her to join, but when I did-@ least one of them would tell me they didnt care for her much and was a downer! Then on one such occassion, while I was in the bathroom, she snidely told my friend that I never call her anymore! The nerve!-I tried~! But I soon realized she wasnt my responsibility, I had my own life to live...AND, i couldnt help she was a drag/clingly. I saw her some years later-needless to say, she wasnt thrilled to see me-gave me the look that i did her a great injustice-but my take is, you either have chemistry w/ ppL, or you don't. I had NO chemistry with her...so altho i felt bad, i couldnt force what wasnt there...you should do the same!

Answer 4

Yes, that was rude of her to more or less expect you to invite her over. She obviously thinks the two of you are closer than you actually are. The best thing to do might be to just talk to her and tell her that sometimes you need time by yourself or with other people. Explain to her that you enjoy her company a lot, but that sometimes it's nice to hang out with others too.

Answer 5

Do yourself a huge favor...don't always hang out with this person...trust me, you'll thank me in the end! I have soooo been there ...I had a very ,very clingy friend...and I think that people like this, they need to get a move on,and get a life...with other friends as well...you are NOT the only person in her phone book, that she could call, I am sure!! You don't want a person to get like this with you...otherwise, once they get their teeth into you...there is no stopping them!!

You need to just say, "hey, I am busy.!" You don't have to invite her with you all of the time...you do what you please...you know? It is your life....take control of YOUR destiny! Do not let her bother or harrass you..or use the old guilt trip on you...God, I hated that! I had my ex-friend do that to me...and making me ask if I could bring her along to other friends to do things together,..but, I really didn't care to...I learned that you have to stand up,and tell them that you are busy..and you will be with other friends, instead...(do not start feeling extremely sorry for those friends that try to make you feel like dog doo!!!) Once they get ya,,,,you are sunk man!!! I am tellin' ya like it really is....it happened to me..and I am now trying to learn how to be a stronger individiual that will not "feel sorry" for those types of people...the "clingy ones"!!!!

Good luck!


P.S. don't answer your cell phone..and if you do,and she's a "caller" like you say that she is.,you need to nip it in the bud,and tell her frankly...that you KNOW that she's called, but you are busy,and you will call her back, when you aren't busy! Also, tell her, just one phone call from her, will tell you that she's called....she need not keep calling you..as you are trying to save the space for more urgent messages on your voice mail...or ya know, just tell her, that you would prefer if she has to get a hold of you, please leave a message along with her phone number..and you will call her back at a more convienient time, for you.


Also, if she gets mad...so what!!? You are NOT responsible for her tantrums! and her bad behavior either!

Answer 6

Sorry to switch blame, but you owed her at least a courtesy call, a call so she knows that things didn't work out as planned. (IDK if you use that term wherever you live).

Now for the clinginess, just talk to her in a kindly tone when you say it. Think before you speak and you should be fine. I give you what to say, and it would no doubt strike her as fabricated. She gets offended, oh well really. It's a problem that will cause problems for her, help her out on this one.

Best of luck.

Answer 7

Yeah, I think she was pretty rude. However, I still think you should tell her how you feel. I had a similar situation with a friend and even though in the beginning she got pretty nasty, after awhile it was much better because we had an honest friendship. I dont know how youtr friend will react, but try talking to her with a lot of respect and consideration.

Answer 8

She sounds like a total *****. Its extremely rude to invite your self along somewhere but ruder to ask why you werent invited or say that you were "suprised" they didnt invite you. My suggestion is slap her silly (but dont really). I dunno try to just avoid her. But i guess it would be hard to avoid her if she is doing everything you are. The way she sounds you just might have to tell her that she is being clingy. she probably blow up, but do you really want to be friends with someone who is like that? I dunno its your call.
Try non verbal signs before you just straight up tell her though. Sometimes people will get the picture. Good Luck :)

Answer 9

thats kinda creepy stalker type stuff. yeah shes rude you dont have to invite her everywhere but on the other hand she may just really need a friend.

Answer 10

thats not rude. what she is doing is a little beyond creepy. if i were you i'd do the exact same thing, and if she has a problem with what you did then she's not that good of a friend.