How do I tell someone I think they have an alcohol problem?

Question

I think both my friend and her husband drink too much. They have an eighteen month old daughter. I have seen them both so drunk, neither was able to care for their daughter. He is a quiet drunk, while she gets abusive.

Recently at the end of a long day of socialising, both were very drunk, neither wanted to stop drinking, and their daughter was really distressed, very tired, very hungry, and away from home. The mother said to the daughter something like "Shut up B*tch won't you ever let me have a good time".

Someone managed to talk the Dad into taking the baby back to their motel. Wasn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Neither of them are particularly good friends, they were friends of my husband's but he has little patience for them now.

I am worried about their daughter. I know the mother slightly better than the father, but both have a problem I think. The mother is likely to fly of the handle if I say anything.

Answer 1

So sorry to hear this is happening. My dad was alcoholic and it brings back some terrible memories. The worst thing you can do is say it's not my problem, but I see you are distressed by this. If you have friends in common with these people, you could hold an intervention. Everyone writes down distressing behavior they have seen and you present it all at once, so it's hard for them to deny the problem. If you don't know them well, you have no choice but to call CPS (child protective services)

Answer 2

I have confronted friends and family about their drinking problem without having hard feeling after wards. In your situation I would just walk up to them and tell them how you feel. Yeah they might get mad so what. Let them know they are putting their child in harms way. The way I done it was I told them they had a problem. That drinking becomes a problem when you can't control the drink and that the drinking was controlling them. Told them that they couldn't just drink one or two and leave it alone could they. If they said they could I would tell them that they don't. If they tell you it is none of your business tell them that when they put their child in harms way in your presents it makes it your business. They will probably avoid you some but you don't need friends that would put their kid in situations like that.
Bottom line is they may get mad at you when you confront them but I assure you that when they get alone they will think about the situation. Hope things work out.

Answer 3

That's a recipe for disaster.
If you don't care about these people call child protecive services.

Answer 4

bummer