I've had a close friend for nearly 8 years now. Within the last year our relationship has turned sour. We both share other close friends and our broken friendship will be hard on everyone else. What should I do? Is it worth the hassle?
2007-03-09 17:22:27 · 14 answers · asked by caryelizabeth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
True friends are to keep, they not coming in your way that often, think it over and give another chanse
2007-03-09 17:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by irenkedezso 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess friendships are like marriages in that some wonder whether it's worth the hassle to end the relationship so they continue. It really depends on how 'sour' the friendship has become. If it's really toxic then maybe you should cut ties. If it just means being around each other for a few get togethers every now and then, it mightn't be worth the hassle of formally ending the friendship.
2007-03-09 17:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by kmlloveplant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just share the close friends you have together. You don't have to bring up what you two are going through unless you think it really needs to addressed. But addressing the problem could at least get you two to agree to disagree and be mutual aquantances.
Do you even remember what the problem is with you two?
Yes, in most cases it is worth it.. That long of a friendship is not the "run of the mill" friendship.. You don't get chances at friends for that long very often..
Is letting this friendship go going to be an easy thing if that is what you decide to do? Would you regret it later? Think about it before you decide...
Good Luck!
2007-03-09 17:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am still mourning a loss of a long time friendship...I think that I might know just how you might feel! I will say that it is NEVER fun to let a friend just go...but, sometimes..it is a much healthier thing to do..than wait..and not....
I let a friend of mine go, after 36+ years...It was sooo not fun, for me...but, I was in a state of "denial"..regarding our friendship....she no longer respected my feelings..or me,and didn't trust me,and wasn't honest to me...etc...THAT is NOT a true, or good friendship!!!
I had to read about what a friendship means...(I looked up good friendships on the net...to see if I had truly done the right thing....because this particular friendship was "enmeshed" as my other close friends' would always tell me. They and my mother..saw my ex friend as a person who tried to sabatoge people, relationships,friendships, and other life experiences, just to "keep me" in her life....and that is VERY unhealthy! You don't want or need stuff like this...plus you certainly do not want or need a person who cannot be honest, caring, truthful, trustworthy, and respectful!!!
If those main ingredients aren't there any longer...you have a major problemo'!!!! It's time to reevaluate your friend,and the type of friendship that you truly want!!!
My ex friend also had no scruples...and I ,even if I have some things that I will automatically bow against....I do think that I have some scruples...about crossing fine lines...as in....not taking someone elses' boyfriend/fiance'/and or hubby!!! (she didn't care!) that bugged the crap out of me!!!!
She also did some other things that were pretty awful to me as well...and I just do not trust her...and I don't want a friend like this anylonger!!
You think about what you want..or you don't want..and MOSTLY what YOU can LIVE with...or CAN'T!! (This is what it really all boils down to!!!)
Good luck...and think great thoughts ...about you!!!
Maybe it is just time to move on...ya know?
2007-03-09 17:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by Rivka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't necessarily have to "break up" with the best friend. You can do it very discretely and still remain acquaintances/casual friends so that your other friends aren't affected. Just slowly shy away from the person and eventually they are going to get the hint and see that you don't want to be close to them in that way any more.
However, being up front would be the most direct and honest thing to do for the both of you. You can't always worry about your other friends, if you talk to them about it I'm sure they would understand. But overall, you need to do what you feel comfortable with.
2007-03-09 18:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUST ME!! NOT WORTH THE HASSLE!! I had a friend for a long time.......went through so much with her.....2 exes, kids, deaths, money - everything! Then she marries some meth addict and I'm like well your choice - I'm here.......(after all the are your sure, trying to reason talk).........my family moved - she comes out here to visit and the mo' fo' disappears (after supposedly being off drugs) over night - we have to pick the loser up downtown in the morning, methed out, and then my change jar was emptied when they left!!! Needless to say.........I never said anything because of the friendship we have had................then she comes out alone for a wedding and calls him and he's like be safe, blah, blah blah and the minute she hangs up the phone - he's 1200 miles away and disappears for the weekend..........so I tell her about the time they were here and the entire change jar being emptied.................guess whose side she takes????? YEP!!!
Soooooooooooo the answer to your question - NOT WORTH IT!!! I'm much better off not having to put up with her neurotic life! Just answering this question has made me feel like I'm back in the friendship..........palpating heart!!!
2007-03-09 17:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by CluelessOne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, since you're already friends for 8 years, your friendship must have been very deep and for me this simple misunderstanding between the both of you is not a big deal. and breaking up is not the solution. go talk to him/her. and i promise that you'll be friends again like no other.
2007-03-09 17:36:15 · answer #7 · answered by whitey-chan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk it out, if the relationship still is sour and hurtful...then yes it is worth the hassle and u dont need this friend to bug you and stress you out!.... it's difficult but sometimes the only solution.
2007-03-09 17:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's not worth the hassle. i had a best friend and we were friends for my whole life we had a fight and we both stop talking to each other then she was killed and i still cry every day about it every day. so don't mess up the friend ship trust me
2007-03-09 17:31:08 · answer #9 · answered by courtney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I recently ended a 10 year friendship. Fortunately, I couldn't give a rat's behind for her friends. She had limited contact with a few of my friends, who after seeing her, said something to me about making up with her. I said no way. I vowed that I would never go out of my way for her again (in response to her unbelievably hurtful and selfish behavior). Of course, that makes me look unforgiving; but I don't want to be friends with her anymore.
If you don't want to see her, don't see her.
2007-03-09 17:48:23 · answer #10 · answered by Sara J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋