Why Is so hard for me to open-up to someone?

Question

I don't really know was wrong but I have so many friends and I do trust them...but I don't really like to sit and tell them my problems what I am feeling and so other things...I call some people my bestfriends because Im always with them but they aren't my best friend because a bestfriend is someone you can tell them everything and I haven't had that yet...I can talk to them about the boy I like or just normal stuff...But I just hate to talk about my family problems and so other problems I have with my family.Everything I have a relansionship I ends up in pain,Because I never learn to trust them 100% and Is just me I can change that I don't like to talk about my problems but at the same time I will be nice to hear someone say I"I understand"

Answer 1

You have a fear that as soon as you share your intimate thoughts, people will run away.

Now, if your intimate thoughts have to do with torturing small animals...

I was in the same boat as you. Abandonment issues.
I wrote a lot. Poetry mostly. Helped keep me sane. Or some sembelance thereof. But I'll tell you, good friends are hard to find. They don't show up in your life everyday and it takes time for someone to become a best friend. It doesn't happen overnight.

I'll also tell you this, you are your own best friend. All of us have issues that only we can work on. You can tell someone else your problems, but only you can fix them.

Last thing to say, don't stress on life. Everyone who's ever lived thinks life has wronged them in some way. During our walk through life, some turds will stick to us. We either have to take the time to clean them off or learn to ignore it. Some turds stain so deep you can never get them completely off. Just know that everyone has this problem.

And, I understand.

A~

Answer 2

LOL OH my friend. I know what you mean. I dont because I was raised that way. That men didnt share that thing especially emotional or other problems. Also I never was able to trust & over the years it has gotten worse. I cant even trust my family not that they have done anything to me its just me. I fear it being used against me or someone I love. Also I dont want to bring down others because of things that I got myself into on accident or directly. In some ways its selfish but either way its protection. In the old days it was the way & common just like it wasnt good to cry. Now adays its view as a bad thing & is really a bad thing since it hurts in relationships especially with woman for many reasons & different ways. But most people just have trust issues & were raised to not trust people be it men be it women or anyone in general. Some women dont trust men because of being repeatedly hurt & when this happens they do many different things, same goes for men hurt by men or of course women from their past much like the women. Most of it is just upbring right or wrong. You need help to try & break the cycle.

Answer 3

I understand. I once read something that compared trust to a bank account. When you spend time with someone and prove you're trustworthy by keeping a secret or being on time you make deposits in your "trust account". When you make mistakes like lying, cheating, or being late you make withdrawals from your "trust account". I suppose that is why trust is accumulated over time and doesn't happen all at once. It seems logical and I hope this helps.

Answer 4

you have probably been burned a couple times by people you've trusted. i know what that's like, takes a long time for me to trust someone completely.

Answer 5

i have the exact same problem! i'm extremely introverted and painfully "shy" about talking about my feelings to ANYONE...my fiance wishes i would just open up because i dont talk about emotions or anything...it feels like i just physically can't get anything out. i have so many supressed feelings but i just can't get them out. i dont know why