women and sex?

Question

i am a 27 yr old man who has an extremely large sexual appetite. my wife on the other hand does not. she never wants to have sex and if we do its only for me.now we have a 2 year old son and we both live full lives with full time jobs, but the question im asking is it normal for a woman to just stop wanting to have sex. i really try to arrouse her and really want to make her sexually happy but i just dont know what to do. before we were married we had sex 10 to 15 times a week ,but when our son was born things changed. if this is not normal please tell me some pointers i could do to help or what she might do to fix this . she has openely admitted that she just doesnt want it and she feels like its a problem too any help would be appreciated

Answer 1

It's a combination of factors. Women's hormone levels change just after childbirth to stimulate breastfeeding, and that hormone reduces the sex drive. But my god, 2 years later? It isn't *that* hormone. But still, she might have some hormonal issues only a physician could chart.

Also, there's the issue of when many women have a baby, or sometimes just get married, they feel they can now relax and let their *real* sex drive be seen. And it's usually much lower than the way they acted before marriage. Sorry but it's the truth - and this sexual mis-representation causes numerous marriages huge amounts of stress and conflict. At least for guys.

Plus, they in a good way focus all their attention, mental efforts, energy, and time on the child. And for many women, sex is mental (beforehand), time (foreplay), and attention (thinking about their guy). Well, that's all taken up by the kid now. While overall this attention they give the baby is good, they forget that this means neglecting their relationship with their husband. Guys know we run a vastly distant second to the baby, but that doesn't make it sting any less.

Finally, men goof things up, but they get this right: sex really is an expression of intimacy. At a time when men are feeling out of the loop since we can never experience the special bond a woman has with her child, that's right when we get the intimacy door slammed in our faces the hardest.

Sorry pal, but there's not much you can do to bring back the 15 times a week girl. Whether you never ask, ask all the time, romance, don't romance, try, don't try, pay attention, ignore, whatever - it won't work. She is satisfied with the way it is or she'd be working to change it, too. The old cat on a hot tin roof thing was pretty much an act, she won't be returning, and you can now begin to explore the delightful world of ESPN, cold beer, and perpetual sexual frustration. About 6 out of every 7 guys end up in that boat, so you can console yourself with the morsel that you are not alone.

Answer 2

My best friend is divorced over this issue. It's going to take more than just arousal. It's going to take persistance and some work - but should be worth it. Show her how responsible you are taking care of the child. Show her what a good father you are. Connect with her emotionally this way. Give an afternoon off to go shopping and have dinner ready for her when she gets back. Draw her a bath. Remind her she is a woman, but don't push any expectations. Don't expect everything after doing one good thing for her. Keep at it (for a few weeks). The good father bond is a must. If all else fails, talk to her honsestly and openly, you may learn something this way. Be patient and Good luck.

Answer 3

Having such a young child can throw the dampers on your sex life, but that doesn't mean it is the end of it! Try seducing your wide, or arousing her by different methods. you both work , so she may be tired. Schedule a Saturday so that sh goes to a day spa... gets all pretty. have a nice outfit waiting on her when she gets home. find a sitter to take Jr. overnight and make that night all about her.

she may be feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of a mom right now and hasn't really focused on how she is as a woman.

get KY, soft music and let things flow naturally...

Answer 4

I heard that alot from other women. After they had their kid they just stop wanting to have sex for some reason. I really dont know why because im still a teenager but I think its because giving birth and being a mother change some part of them and sex is no longer excited and fun. But if you get her to talk to you about it maybe you'll figure out more, maybe she feel insecure because her body changed or something.
Talk to her and explain how you feel and I bet she will too. Be calm about it.

Answer 5

Sometimes it's hard for a woman to want sex after taking care of a child all day.It's a lot of work! It's hard for us to go from being mommy and working all day to Marilyn Monroe in the bedroom at night. Maybe if you give her a break with the little one that would help. It might also help to give compliments, back rubs, flowers, etc.. anything to help make her feel special and attractive/sexy. Being romantic and helpful in general usually helps a woman to feel more in the mood. Maybe at this point she feels like nothing more than just mom? I don't know if that'll help at all, it's a tough one.

Answer 6

I am not an expert but if she has post pardom depression, then this isn't your answer. Otherwise, check out how you are trying to arouse her, a lot of men, don't get the fact that women are WAY more turned on by love and affection not associated with sex!! Honest! For instance if you want to get busy with your lady don't go straight for the hot spots, pet her hair back behind her ears, smell her skin (on her back, neck, head) I know this sounds crazy but don't try to stimulate her. Women are not stimulated the same way as you are, for instance if I want to get busy with my husband I know I put my hands down his pants and etc. women, touch their hearts with your touch, meaning, let them feel your love and desire through your touch, non sexually this is key, betcha you will get more action! Ask me I know I had the same problem with my guy. wendy http://www.findhomesforsalewithwendy.com

Answer 7

lol, Sex is one of those things women quit doing with you after you marry them. It is kinda like the way they gain weight and start nag and all the other stuff that comes with marriage. Stop trying to have sex with her for a few weeks ignore her and give her some space and see if she starts wanting you again. If that don't work go have an affair and get yours or get a divorce. It is sad but that is the only way to rectify the situation. Women just don't understand that men have needs and sex is one of the most important ones.

Answer 8

Welcome to the jungle!!! Some women just don't have the sex drive. If she never , I mean never, then I say she has a problem. But to be fair about it I think us men folks also have a problem by wanting it all the time. Just hang in there and give it time. Things have ways of working them self out.

Answer 9

Give her a break. Kids can drain a women. Get a baby sitter, one that the child can stay over with. Take your wife out to a nice dinner, have some drinks, do not talk about kids, get drunk and go home a do it. After that, she will want to do it more.

Answer 10

I agree with "reality" above. It could take many weeks or even months. I would take the focus completely away from sex and just be nice to her. I expect that eventually, she'll get her groove back.