Jealousy problem - help?

Question

I know that people think of me as a nice person - which I am to a good extend.
However, deep inside me, just between me and myself - I tend to get very jealous from people in an ugly way. For example, I get jealous if one of my relatives finds a job, starts studying in university (even though I already have a job + degree).
I just keep thinking about the issue and envying the person!
It haunts me day and night for weeks.
Or until I find something else to be jealous about!

I hate this, and I know it's wrong...
It's my own secret...

How can I cure myself?

Note: I am really serious and would appreciate serious answers... please, if you are going to make fun of me, then don't answer!

Answer 1

We all have traits that we really don't like. Good for you for wanting to change yours! When you begin to think about something like this, choose not to dwell on it - distract yourself by finding something to do.

Another trick I've found that works well is to pray for the person I'm having bad feelings about. It's hard to maintain bad feelings about someone you're praying for. Try it - it works!

Answer 2

Why be jealous of yourself? Like you said, you have a job and a degree. So you're already a great person. Jealousy is a natural feeling. But when it is extreme like this, take some time to sit down and think about the great things in your life. What is it that you have that makes you so fortunate? What do you have that other people could envy? The thing is to be fully satisfied with yourself. Give yourself that inner peace. And pray! It doesn't matter what religious affliation you have. Chances are most religions have prayer as a part of it. Pray that you will be cleansed of this feeling of jealousy. And if you're atheist, or even if you aren't, talk to someone about these feelings. Maybe they can personally help you to control these impulses of jealousy. And just remember, don't be jealous if you yourself are fortunate. Anyway, it's not so much as what you have in front of you, but what you have inside of you!
Hope I've helped!

Answer 3

I think that you are not alone when you say that inside you there is pent up jealousy and anger.

the fact is: you are a nice person because you have recognized this 'problem' and are willing to try and change.

I have felt similar feelings. when i started having slight jealousy issues I seeked answers and one explanation summed it up perfectly.

it explored the idea of the 'individual' and our good and evil sides. every person has both- so no matter what you may think of other individuals everyone has good and bad thoughts.

some people find a balance and are able to accept their negative or bad thoughts and understand that it does not make them a bad person by having them.

I would say you are denying yourself these negative thoughts and are displaying your good side all the time and hence the bad/ evil thoughts are being suppressed and expressed in forms of jealousy and anger.

you may also be a bit of a perfectionist? or quite competitive deep down this may also be causing the jealousy within you.

dont be so hard on yourself! write a list of 10 things that make you proud of yourself. read it over-

most issues begin within ourselves. have more confidence in yourself then you will be much less jealous of others~

take care, good luck :)

Answer 4

I think you hate it when other people achieve something. You want to be the best, the one and only. I suggest you try to accept the fact that there are over a billion people living here on earth, each one with a potential to achieve something in life. Try to engage in some hobbies that would bring out the best in you-so that you'll feel, well, different? And if other people take up the hobby you've been doing, then think positive-they wouldn't know it if not for you,right? Something like that. Be positive. And learn to accept defeat. I guess you're much too proud to accept that someone can match you. Well, think again. You're as normal as everyone else. Just try to cope with your envy and instead of jealousy, try feeling something diferent- like love or gratitude.

Answer 5

I am also serious. You are totally focused on negative stuff. The score on your post is 3 positives and 9 negatives
Even the positive, how can I cure myself could be a negative since it implies that you are sick. You can turn this around.
How about starting to celebrate when you find out that someone is attracting good things? Fake it if you need to.
You will be surprised how little effort will be required at first and how much your friends and relatives will appreciate you for your efforts and love you. This will trigger self-appreciation on your part and you will be much happier.
I am behind you all the way. You deserve better. Enjoy!

Answer 6

As humans we always look unto others and compare ourselves to other people. It's ambition. Some jealousy is normal.. If it gets too serious, ask yourself why you are getting jealous in the first place. Raise your self esteem and your confidence. Evaluate yourself in what you have to offer to others (give someone else something to be jealous about!!). Find a new hobby, make some new friends, but most of all learn to be comfortable with who you are. Make a list of all that you have accomplished and all that you still have left to do..

Answer 7

Just remember that the person that you're jealous of wouldn't be happy if that person finds out that you're jealous of him/her, especially if they're your close friends or relatives.

And be grateful for everything that you have. Understand that no one has everything that you have, each person is different, so there's nothing to be jealous about.

Because there will always be someone who's better than you in looks, personality and knowledge. At the same time, you will always be better at something than some people.

Answer 8

Well you need to look at your own self. You have a lot to be thankful for, most everybody does, even if they think their life is going down the drain. You can talk to the people you are jealous of, be happy for them instead of mad at them, or try talking to a psychologist *I doubt it will help much but it may*, and personally what I would do is go to church get involved with God. Only He can really fill the emptiness. Maybe even join the peace chore *sp?* for a while, realize that you have a lot to learn and be grateful for.

Answer 9

well i think all you need is prayer pray against the spirit of jealousy and evenness, because you said you don't know why, so is spiritual thing so you have to take it to God in prayer he will help you out of it. Nothing is too big for our God to do.

After that try to buy anyone that got a job a gift of congratulation, I think that will help you, because you can not buy somebody a gift for promotion and be jealous and envious of the person at the same time. your conscience must judge you for doing that.give it a try it will help. Good luck.

Answer 10

Yeah, we've all got our problems. I have severe social anxiety and can be very bitter about people who I feel get things they don't deserve. I guess just try to figure out why you are jealous, first of all. Do some journaling and really try to be honest with yourself. Search for some online tests about it. Once you can figure out why you are jealous, then you can work on fixing it. If you can't figure out why or don't know how to fix it, I suggest you see a shrink. And please don't settle for crap. If you feel your shrink isn't helping you, he or she probably isn't so find a new one and don't waste time or money. Good luck!