I've had some of my female friends tell me that, if I stop looking for a woman, I will somehow magically find her.
Is that really true?
I know none of my guy friends tell me that - they tell me to keep on the hunt until I find the woman I want.
Maybe that whole idea that "love will come to you if you stop looking for it" works for WOMEN - after all, they're the passive ones who attract men to them, while guys have to go out and find a woman.
What do you think?
2007-03-09 16:46:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ya know what? I think that you should really keep on looking..but, try other places.that you have never bothered to look....for example...I had tried match.com..(bad place, in MY opinion...at least for women,,anyhow)but, then I went on military.com..and I found a man that I liked ...as a friend/penpal....and the funny thing was..I decided to "pull back" and not "chase" him..because I sensed that he had gone thru some horrible relationships in the past...and I was right...he'd been married three times..and those three times, just didn't work..and what he was looking for was a nice woman to be with,....he wasn't sure that he wanted to get married again...(maybe, but, only if she was the "right" one,ya know?) anyhow, we wrote back and forth...and then he came to visit me, like ten different times...and we lived three thousand miles away from one another...Me in Northern California..and him back east! Well, I met him on an Air Force forum, talking about the F-117 stealth jet..(I happen to love the design of that jet!) and I had been asking other guys about that jet..and so many of the men on that forum started to be a pain in the U know...but, he wanted to "protect" me...(which I didn't know till much later lol!) but, anyhow, he started to really like me..and I really liked him...and then when I had to go into the hospital...I had no way to tell him, that I was going to be okay...as I only wrote to him in the beginning, via the computer.,..and I had no computer at my house...only at the local libraries! So, when I was recuperating..I thought alot about him..and he was worrying about me! Later, after getting a lot more healed..I went to the library and told him what had happened...and he was soooo relieved! We continued writing.,later also with snail mail as well, as emails,.and then finally meeting for the first time...(we met, after long phone calls, and long internet letters/and snail mail letters.) and at first, I wasn't sure that he was "the one" but, on our first "date" at a local regional park....we got to know each other all over again...and I saw the person "inside" that I had "fallen head over heels" for!
I asked him, later, via online.."would you marry me, if I asked you to?"(Now, mind you, I have NEVER asked a man to marry me!! They usually asked me...and I always said no!..I knew that I wasn't ready....for all of those other relationships! But, with him....I felt that "huge bubble feeling"...a feeling that was soooo huge....WOW!! and I NEVER ever thought, I would ever get married, too!!! LOL!!)
We got married July 4th, 2006...the same day, that his father and mother got married! (His dad got married to his mom on that day...so that "he would never forget his wife's anniversary"!!! LOL!
SO, what I want to tell you is...try other realms..of places...that you might have a small interest in...and or are very curious about!
You might try the military...there are also women soldiers that would love to meet a nice man that would be kind and caring....and everything else....or try a yahoo group....ya know,..like a hobby group...or....myspace...is a pretty good place to meet some VERY nice women....my hubby's son, met a girl on myspace, that he would love to marry!! Maybe you could find somebody that way!!
Whatever you do...I will say...don't listen to that advice about "waiting,,,,and or stopping" to find a person for you...you HAVE to GET UP and GET MOVING!! to find her, whereever she may be!!! I learned this....I changed my life...when I went on my "quest"....and I am soooo thankful!!!
I feel quite blessed,and loved...and this man is also highly revered by my family....he is the best fella that I have brought home!!! LOL!
I wish you sooo many good blessings..and I hope that soon you will find "the one" for you...because she is out there...you just haven't met her yet!!!(Doesn't that sound kind of exciting?!)
2007-03-09 17:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rivka 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello freind.
it may not necessarily be true.
things work differently with different people. You never know, the girl next door maybe just the girl for you.
we, in the east , believe more in God and fate n even stars a lot.sometimes things happen in such a way that we can't have engineered them on our own,don't you see the hand of God/fate sometimes??
in your case...
1. don't give up on the woman of ur dreams. do keep eyes n ears open 4 the right person.nothing ventured, nothing gained.
2.OPEN ur HEART N MIND to God's guidance and Love. things will start falling in place.
sometimes we are caught in a time capsule, we dnt try to learn the lesson we shud be learning in that particular situation. (pls DO read many lives many masters by DR BRIAN WEISS)
3. Have a positive attitude.
all the best...
2007-03-09 17:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People tell me this all the time. I believe your intention is more powerful than the human activity of "looking" for someone. I think this saying comes from the idea if you're happy with your own company, than, you will attract like-minded people. But I think, like the film, "About a Boy" with Hugh Grant, you must make human steps and effort to connect with others. Especially in today's society, where everyone is so insular. I miss the carefree days of days gone by, when people were so much more laid back and fun and wanted to play and have fun! Now everyone is too busy working to relax and if they do it costs lots of money and is very exclusive rather than inclusive. Maybe we could start of Y & A Club??:} ps...if you think you look desperate, so will others. (As a man thinketh, so is he).
2016-03-28 22:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love will come to u when u least expected, so don't worry. U search at the right place at the right time, someone will be seeking like u and when the cupid came u will know u are in love.
Love is not cruel, Love wants to make sure u have the right person u are looking for when the time is right, u will see u have found yr true love.
2007-03-09 17:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am 39 and I decided I didn't want to date anymore as everyone I went out with just for a cup of coffe or dated a few months, either cheated on me or just wasn't my type.
I decided I just wanted friends only. I met a guy through my roommate's husband. We have been friends for almost 2 years. He would come and help me out and I would feed him for what he would help me with. We were fine with just friends.
One day this past November, something just struck him. He said it was devine intervention. He decided he wanted to date me. I had been throwing those thoughts around in my head, but I had never told him as he would have ran scared like a rabbit. (He is a bit slower than me in that category.) We already knew each other as friends and so we are now dating.
Long story short, I think that it will come to you whether you are ready or not. He wasn't ready when it "hit him". and fought the feeling for almost a week before he told me. He wasn't looking either. When he told me, I was so scared too. We decided to try it and it is going well. I am a bit more aggressive than he is in some ways, but he is still very much a man. I am not a passive woman in any way whatsoever as you think women are.
I think that when it is meant to be, it will happen and it will hit you out of the blue and you will know it. It is all in God's time as I say. Patience is a virtue as they say. Hang in there, it will happen when it is suppose to be. In the meantime, go out and do things with your friends and family. You may never know who you may meet around the corner.
2007-03-09 16:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmm...that's a bit of a tough one cause I've actually had friends, girls and guys, say the same thing to me. Do what you feel more comfortable with, if you feel you should back off then do that or if you feel like you need to go out every night to find that special lady then do that, finding love, or having love fall in your lap is not easy either way. I'm sorry this isn't really the best advice, but i hope it helps you a little.
Good luck with everything. : )
2007-03-09 16:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi, They say when you are looking for a G.F. you are trying to hard to find the one for you. If you relax and just kick back and don't try so hard the right girl will come to you. I believe this is true for men. So Johnny take a break and stop trying so hard. Just be yourself and see what happens.
A Friend.
Clowmy
2007-03-09 16:56:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Haven't you notice when you are out with your male friends and you go around a Bunch of girls and you guys start acting like morons. Which one of you guys are the girls most interested in? The one who pays them no mind why you ask because your not desperate and you don't care if she likes you or not. We want to find out why and that leads to talking. Do you understand what I'm saying to you. This is it in a nut shell stop looking for girls we notice that and that makes us want to be around you. Got it now!
2007-03-09 17:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm a guy. after my divorce i spent three yrs looking for mrs right. i finally decided i was not going to look anymore. after two yrs i found the woman who is now my fiancee. i think when you go looking and you don't find what you really wanted you tend to settle for the next best thing. but if you wait the best thing will eventually arrive. so often people marry the best they can find at the time. then after they marry the best comes along, and its too late for them. my advice is don't look wait for it to find you.
2007-03-09 16:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by kipp B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I'm afraid that love will come when it damn well pleases. Totally random. I though I was in love before and was introduced to another, stronger love. It will happen when it happens. To obsess about it is a complete waste of time. You have no control. Just remain alert and aware. That's the secret. You can't see sh*t with your eyes closed.
2007-03-09 16:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Em 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋