Ive told him EVERYTHING i know about abortion. I told him it would make me depressed for the rest of my life, and he still says "But it'll ruin my life and all my plans!"
He tells me to do him this one "favor" and have the abortion if I want him to be happy.
My parents agree with me. And some of my friends do too.
But he seems so heartless about this.
I dont want to be a young, single mom. : (
2007-03-09 16:46:06 · 35 answers · asked by This Gurl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well sweetie you have to do what is best for the baby now.This baby has to come before you and him, it did not ask to be conceived,and nor is it asking to be killed. Why not do this baby one favor and let it live, if you do not want it or can not raise it then put it up for adoption.So that it can live a happy, Healthy life full of love. I don't want to sound mean here but your boyfriend is being selfish he thinks it's all about him, well it was before unprotected sex, but after that fact it is about a helpless,Innocent baby who does not deserve to die because he wanted to act like an adult and have unprotected sex then beg for favors when he doesn't want to face the consequences for his actions.I wish you the best
2007-03-09 16:56:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you already know that you'll be depressed about this decision for the rest of your life, why are you asking our oppinions? I understand the reason why you ask, but I don't understand why this is such an issue for you.
Why would you even consider taking an action simply because someone else, who doesn't have any other part in the pregnancy from here till the child is born, has decided that this is the correct action to take.
You sound like you already know that you love your child and want to have it. Consciously going against what you want will only undermine your mental health in the future...can you imagine the guilt you'll feel for wanting your child, and purposely aborting it? It's possible that this could effect the way you feel about your boyfriend, making it hard to love him the same after this is all said and done...you'll blame him for the guilt, the depression and the aborted child. Besides, he sounds incredibly selfish. He says take this action for HIM and for HIS PLANS, but what about YOU and your plans, and YOUR CHILD and your childs' life?
Besides, you don't need a partner, boyfriend, or husband in order to raise a happy, well-rounded child. You need to do what is in the best interest of YOU and YOUR CHILD.
If you really feel that you can't raise this child alone and your boyfriends' wishes are more important, atleast give the child a chance by choosing abortion.
Boyfriends come and go. The life you take can't be brought back...If getting pregnant is all it takes to ruin his life, maybe having sex isn't the passtime for him.
2007-03-09 18:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by hot black babe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with how your boyfriend is behaving is that he is only thinking of himself. You could attend a clinic and get some counselling but if you have the support of your family and friends then you should follow through with the pregnancy, even if you then decide to give the baby up for adoption.
I have read a personal experience recently of a woman in your situation. She allowed herself to be bullied into the abortion and then resented her boyfriend. He left her to do whatever, and she had to live with the decision. She did go on to say however that she later met and married a lovely man and had two daughters, that perhaps may not have happened had she kept the baby.
The problem with a decision like this there are people who have made either decision, and regretted it and some who still knew it was the right thing to do. You need to get information (about abortions, and cost associated with raising a child), counselling and then make an informed decision based on what you want.
Personally I do not agree with abortion because of a slip or momentary lapse. But that is me. This is you. Best of luck with everything.
2007-03-09 17:42:49 · answer #3 · answered by smileyfaceau2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you think is best. If you really want an abortion, go for it. Remember that it costs money, though. I personally don't believe that abortion is right, but it's your body, your life, your choice. If you don't want an abortion, then don't get one. Go through with the pregnancy and while you're pregnant, go over your options. There's adoption and of course keeping the baby, but just as an abortion, keeping the baby will be quite a bit of money, too. I know things will get hard, and it may seem just as wrong as abortion to give your baby up when and if it's born, but if you're not ready to be a single mom it's a good choice, and because that is most likely what you will be, seeing as how from what you said your boyfriend is a total jerk. You don't want your baby to grow up in a stressed environment. Remember that if you go through with the pregnancy, you will have to consider what is best for the little life growing inside you, not just yourself. That's about all the advice I have for you.
On a second note, though. I suggest that you talk to your parents and boyfriend about what you feel. Tell your boyfriend that it's your body, your baby, and your life that he is telling you to put aside for his needs. I personally think that you should dump him, I don't mean to offend you, but if he's being so selfish during a time where your whole future could lie on the balance, then he doesn't seem worth it. I don't think anyone needs negativity like that in their life when things are already hard.
Last piece of advice: I'm a religious person, so talking to God always helps me solve my problems. I don't know if you're religious or not, but try talking to what ever god or gods you may believe in. Or just find someone to talk to. During such a stressful time, you should express yourself and let out what you're thinking and feeling.
Good Luck! And I really hope things work out for you and your baby if you decide to have him or her!
2007-03-09 17:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Lids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it's your choice. He cannot have any say in it...abortions also increase the future risk of cancer...I agree with you. It sounds like your bf has a problem. He could have a part in making the child, but he doesn't want anything to do with raising it. Listen to your heart. He does not deserve you if he is willing to try and make you feel guilty over this miracle. You already are a single mom, but when you have the child, if you get a paternity test on him, he has no choice but to help you. I would recommend doing that. Don't get an abortion. It obviously compromises your beliefs, so don't let him make you feel guilty for something that is half his fault, too. The risks of abortion are just too high.
2007-03-09 16:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Catherine♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just face the truth, don't use your pregnancy and excuse, you want to get married. Get pregnant to hold a men, is a very old and known strategy that used to be used by low life women...Now, we see celebrities (Gwyneth Paltrow) and many others women doing the same thing just to get the guy they want, these days.
If you were so oppose to abortion as you claim to be, you have used protection and prevent it from happen. I think men had the same right as women to choose to have or not to have a child. If you both didn't plain anything, I guess you should do the abortion, because both parts are not OK with the idea. As he said, it won't only ruin his life but your and very much of your baby's life too. This is a decision that should be taken by the 2 of you, its not an election where the party that got more votes win. He is clear about not marrying you, and a child won't change how he feels, it can make him be the father of your child but not your husband.
If I was on your place, I would get the abortion and break up with him. He already made it clear, you are out of his life's plan. Get a better chance of building a family with someone that wants it with you as well.
2007-03-09 17:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you have the abortion you will regret it. You already know how you feel about it. You're right. Speaking from my own personal experience, I had an abortion at 18 years old and to this day I regret it. I thought having a baby that young and potentially being a single mother (because my boyfriend and I were having hard times and were on again/off again at the time) and I thought having the abortion would allow me time to do things I thought I needed to do before having kids. I regret it. I wish I would have kept the baby and wouldn't have listened to all to everyone who told me I was too young. Forget what your boyfriend is telling you. IF HE LOVED YOU HE WOULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THIS. He's thinking about himself... and he should have thought about all of "his plans" before he got you pregnant.
Keep the baby. It might be tough sometimes but it's worth it. I have an infant son now and it's such a joy.
2007-03-09 17:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by Haulie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE RIGHT!
If your heart is saying no to the abortion, then do that.
It's not whether it's right or wrong for anyone but You and your child. If you think you will have guilt - then guaranteed you will!
There are many that don't think they will and find out that they were way wrong and are sorry now. You don't want to see other babies and wonder what your child would have been like.
At the very least go adoption and give your baby to a family that can't have their own.
If you can't part with a baby of your own, then commit to it and raise it and love it.
Tell the guy what YOU want to do and if he doesn't like it, don't let him pressure you - he's being selfish.
I'm glad I have my girls... wouldn't have missed it for the world.
2007-03-09 17:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Sadi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him if he dont want a kid them to keep his dick in his pants and im sorry for my language but this subjects always makes me angry when the guy wants their mate to get an abortion. Men dont care what they did to cause it but maybe they should have tried to prevent it if they arent ready and men also dont know whats its like to have a baby in your stomach and feel it move around its the best feeling in the world and if females get an abortion they are the ones who have to life with the pain and hardness of it all not the MEN! There is always other options like adoption maybe or you said that your parents and friends dont want you too either so maybe they would help you. I dont know how old you are but i got pregnant when i was 16 and had my daughter when i was 17 and yes its hard im not going to lie but they are so worth it kids are so beautiful and amazing and you dont need a man girl not one like that anyways. Well i really hope you make the right decision because its something you have to live with everyday for the rest of your life and how do you know that this guy wont just drop you after you would get rid of this baby? You gotta think about this very good. Well best of luck to you.
2007-03-09 20:09:23 · answer #9 · answered by NatTheBrat24 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whether or not you have an abortion is your choice and no one elses. Your boyfriend will not have to live with the guilt or regrett you will have. Your parents and friends will not be the one to give up their youth to be a mother. You need to take some time and really think about it. If you pray, then pray. Having a child will be a dramatic change in your life, but you do need to make a decision. I urge you to consider adoption over abortion, but this is your life and your baby and only you can really make this choice.
2007-03-09 16:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by Heather 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋