what is wrong with me???

Question

my husband and i have been married for four years he has little interest in doing anything and sometimes doesnt talk to me...... when his freinds call or his cousins he is all full of chatter and is always willing to go out with them or go places with them i am starting to get depressed i ask him to play cards or go shopping with me or just talk he says it isnt the same as when he is with the guys

Answer 1

ain't nothing wrong with you, dog. he just wants to hangs wif his homeys. set aside a time with him to discuss the way you are feeling and perhaps consider some counseling for both of you.

Answer 2

What ever you do DON'T get pregnant!! Sounds like your husband is still immature and if his not intrested in doing anything with you chance are that his getting restless. If his friends are still single then you really should take heart in everything that is going on. I don't want to say this but he might be missing the "Good Ole Days". You don't want to get a child involved because if things turned for the worst you'll have more problems when it comes to when he sees the child and how much money you'll get and one day he'll swear your trying to turn the child against him. Trust me, don't have a baby until things are better and he has his priority's right. Ask yourself this, How long does he stay out with his friends at night. Does he come home or does he tell you his staying at his friends cause his going to be drinking. How often does he go out, is it a routine thing or now and then. If his is already showing signs of being distant then you have reason to start asking him questions about where they go and whats going on. Get his reactions and watch his body language. You'll know the truth by the way he act's and responses to the question you ask.

Answer 3

I could give you a handful of reasons and they'd probably all be wrong. Good answer: Sometimes a guy just needs to talk to and spend time with his buddies. To be able to do guy things, to be able to talk about things that you do that really bug him but he doesn't want to tell you cause you might take it the wrong way but he can tell a friend cause they probably have the same complaint about their wife or girlfriend or whatever (long breath), and last but not least, to plainly just do the stupid stuff that we guys have been doing since the begining of our days and still enjoy doing.
Bad answer: Maybe it's not him or not just him. You never say what he never has an interest in doing or talking about. Is it things you and you alone want to do or talk about, or things he should want to do or talk about

Answer 4

This isn't about you Hon. It's about him & his lack of intimacy.
The truth of the matter is that he will keep on treating you like a 2nd class citizen for as long as he can get away with it.

You need to decide just how long you will continue to accept this treatment from him.
If the answer is "Not one more minute" then you need to spell things out for him in no uncertain terms, & with clear consequences that you are prepared to back up when he tries to call you on it.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that you don't want to let the situation stay the way it is if you are going to sink into a depression over it. Depression is DAMN hard to get out of once it sets in, so avoid it at ALL costs.
The best cure for the depression you are now in, is to get some backbone & tell your husband that there's going to be some "US TIME" in his immediate future, & he's going to get happy about it, or get gone.
After all he's your HUSBAND, not your roomate. :-)

Answer 5

I have found doing what they are interested in like bowling, going to the casino, the VFW to shoot pool or playing dominoes are things they like to do, so I adapted. Shopping and talking is not one of them. We got a pet cat, that is a indoor/outdoor cat and that is one of the things we talk about. Sitting and watching TV is our favorite pastimes as well as preparing a meal together. I've only been married 2 years and we do go out still.

Answer 6

Obviously there is something wrong with the relationship. Maybe it's you, maybe it's him, maybe it's some one else. Regardless, you need to try and find out what the problem is by talking it out.

I suggest approaching him calmly and rationally. Don't let your emotions get the better of you, as I don't know a man who enjoys talking to an angry woman, especially if there's already a problem. Voice your concerns, tell him that it hurts you and try to find a solution. You may both need to compromise and change your behavior.

Answer 7

how old are you and your husband?is this something that has been going on since the begining that you have just realized is happening?(thinkback)if not think back to when things started to change. and try things that you used to love to do together.but never do anymore because life got in the way.and keep in mind that if you guys really love eachother you will overcome this like you will overcome many obsticals youll face together. so hold your head high and hang in there. . and turn that frown upsidedown

Answer 8

how do i rate Taty's answer as "bloody terrible"?
as if having a child is the answer to saving a marriage...let's just bring a child into an unhappy home and see how they grow up...

i agree that he's bored but if he's already made up his mind (despite your attempts to engage him in going out and playing cards), there is little you can do if he doesn't talk to you about it (and tell you what he thinks will fix it). good luck.

Answer 9

well after 4 years things could be going downhill...but theres always time to improve it. you can ask him what he wants to do and when u do what he wants to do then ask him to do something u want to do (everything together) as a way of bonding and showing that u and him are willing to compromise in order to keep the marriage alive.

Answer 10

having friends outside of marriage is a good thing, but your spouse should be your best friend. first off nothing is wrong with you, you should tell him how this makes you feel, find something that you both enjoy doing and tell you need to set a side time to spend together.