i found out that my wife cheated on me, this is not the first time it has happened, but i really belived that i could trust her. i still love her but i dont think i can trust her, we have two small children( 2, and 1 years old) and i dont want to put them through the hell of a divorce, and living in a split family. i just dont know what to do. any comments would be much aperciated.
2007-03-09 16:03:35 · 33 answers · asked by barnone1776 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stay with me i still love u.
2007-03-10 03:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by lisaanndubay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've decided to let her have an extra-marital affair, her life has been _________ (choose one: 1. Perfect, 2. Just for Fun, 3. Terribly Guilty, 4. Hasn't changed) What you fear is that the answer is #1 or #2.
I think you put that same question to her on a piece of paper and ask her to answer the question. Answering it may teach you to communicate before you can't. How did it get this far? Why did you wait this long?
The fact is, your marriage is loosely held together by threads of love for the children. Thats making the children guilty of keeping you two morons together. Why don't the two of you get counciling. And take the kids to Grandma's, so you can tell her how her daughter is acting.
2007-03-09 16:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife and ask her to go to marriage counseling with you... I know you love her but come on is all this cheating really worth it? What does this teach your children that is positive really. If the cheating does not stop yes you should leave your wife and move on with your life. If she wants to change and get help that is one thing BUT if not then i see no other way then out of this one. She also could end up getting pregnant by some other guy or she could even get an STD... So is this really worth it???? I think NOT! JMHO.
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2007-03-09 16:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you and your wife thought about seeking marriage counseling or spiritual counseling from a a local church. This is a start. It would help in the long run keep the marriage together. But then again you might have trust issue that will need some repair. This will definitely take some time.
2007-03-09 16:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless u feel u can deal with betrayal until the kids grow up, u need to get a divorce. what about your emotions, u can't be a good dad when your heart is all torn up all of the time can u? the kids will survive but will u? nothing worse than a cheating deceitful spouse. why not get a divorce and get custody of the kids, and find a new life with someone who respects u and loves u. if this is not the first time, it does seem to be a pattern of behavior with her. sometimes it is far better to cut our losses, than to endure the cheating, as it will eventually effect your emotions, and u won't be able to be a good dad.
2007-03-10 00:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's completley selfish of your wife to jepoardize your happiness and her kids for a quick fling, I'd give my life to start a cute family with my man, this is terrible!
You will get tired of all this someday and divorce her anyway, the kids will be older and it will be harder..Do it now while they are too young to remember anything..When you're with a serial cheater things will always get worse..I do beleive in second chances but you already gave her one, just remember the saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."
There are plenty of women that would love the oppurtunity to be a stepmother to your beautiful children, a woman that will give you the respect you deserve, a divorce wont mean the end..Good luck in what you decide
2007-03-09 16:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by IceQueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her the Q&A board, then she'll know you are serious & aren't gonna take it anymore! Wait till she sees some of the comments...this should be interesting. I believe once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater! and how do you know what she's bringing home to YOU? I mean, YOU are actually sleeping with whoever SHE slept with every time you have sex with her! What happened to "keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live"??? Do you believe in Bigamy? Nothing like sleeping with the enemy huh? Good luck hon. You deserve a wife that is honorable. The kids will live..and eventually, they'll know why daddy left mommy. ;-) Good Luck hon.
2007-03-09 16:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by lizrdluvnmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is time to move on. You cant trust her, this isn't the first time and she will most likely do it again and again. Luckily, the kids are very young and this will be easier for them to adjust to. Share custody and move on. Why in the world would you want to stay with a cheater? Not to mention she may end up giving you an STD. Be strong and move on. I am sure that someday you will find a woman that appreciates you.
2007-03-09 16:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will definitely affect the children when their parents are no longer together because they might be thinking that it is their fault. But I don't think you will able to trust her again because this is not her first time of cheating. Also, talk with your wife. Get some family therapy, then decide.
2007-03-09 16:13:53 · answer #9 · answered by Nea'A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would want to put your children through the hell of a loveless home? i think that raising kids seperatly is sometimes better....i mean all staying together can do is cause constant bickering, no love, and no trust...that isn't a good environment for your kids either. it is a tough decision, but now is better than say 5 years from now, where they will remember the seperation trauma....good luck!
2007-03-09 16:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
telling someone to leave their spouse is a difficult thing to do. it is a sad thing that your spouse cheated on you and to top it off twice. if you would have cheated on her you would be in court having to pay child support and spousal support. ask yourself do you think you deserve this kind of treatment. sometimes we think we are doing the right things for the kids by staying in a dishonest and unhappy marriage but we only ends up hurting the kids. the kids end up being a product of this unhealthy relationship. you can still be there for your kids and not be together. it is easier for kids to accept their kids not being together at the ages of 1-2 years old compared to them being much older. ARE YOU EVEN SURE THE KIDS ARE FOR YOU?
2007-03-09 16:21:36 · answer #11 · answered by Ranger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋