toatly lost need help what would you do ?

Question

im married to a man that i have one child by but he has two by two other people, recently he cheated on my and the only reason i found out is because his job is now at risk, do i try to stick with him or do i take the kid and go

Answer 1

they're right... just go.

you've tried to love and support him, and he isnt capable of it in return.

there is a reason why his ex's arent with him.... they too found out the hard way. they also decided that they didnt want that example living with their child.

you deserve better, dont cha think?

DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/deadbeatparentssuck/
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
www.goodparentspay.com

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html

CHILD SUPPORT LAWS
http://www.lectlaw.com/files/fam11.htm

LAWS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/states.htm
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/

FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND CHILD SUPPORT
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR STATE REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

.

Answer 2

Ok his job is at risk, and this is how you found out . So basically if his job was not at risk you would not have found out . Did he cheat with the baby mom, if so divorce him because he will continnue to screw around with the baby's mom, because he will have to see the kid and he will use that somtimes as an excuse to see his baby mother . Dont fall into the co-dependency trap. . don't let him use you until he get on his feet and then he goes back to cheating . Unless he confessed the cheating to you he may be sincere and not do it again, but if you had to pry it out of him he did not care and only told you because he was backed against the corner. Wise up and dump the loser, you will be better off before you have any more babies by him and then it will be harder to leave.

Answer 3

you are about to receive two very opposing views from the answers you read. some will say dump his sorry *** and head for the hills. others will tell you that marriage is a commitment and you entered it willingly so live up to your vows. my only question to you is do you want to stay? if you do then seek counseling and try and move forward from there. if you truly believe that you can not get beyond his cheating then by all means leave for the good of everyone involved, you, your husband and most importantly your child. best of luck whichever way you decide to go.

Answer 4

If you have love in your heart for this man you can ask him to explain his point of view on the subject. But always keep the best intrest of you child in mind. You are a strong woman and need to find a man that would not cheat and find happiness with other women. Except that he has other children, but if he wants to be with you, make sure he is with you and only you. You deserve that.

Answer 5

Just curious to know. Why is his job on the line? Was he cheating w/ someone @ work? If you are financially able, take your child and leave. If not, definitely start planning to leave today even if you make your official exit 6 mo from now. I know it is easier said than done but it hurts less once you are no longer surrounded by the situation.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

first u have to find what is the truth here, u seem to be in denial, seem to be defending his behavior, how can he blame his cheating on his job? if he had any integrity and honor he would not cheat. best before one gives their heart to someone that they really look into his past behaviors, if he has kids by others and he doesn't take care of them, than he is not going to take care of u and yours either. don't stick with a person who has dishonored u, leave them, as he will only do it again, later down the line. if u want to save yourself years of pain with this man, get out of it, don't let anyone treat u like that and get away with it.

Answer 7

Beat it!! Get that baby of yours out of that scenario. You deserve better. Show your child that the behavior he's showing is unacceptable. Get the family and friends to help you out while you get you and kid settled and then make a new path for yourself.

Lose the extra baggage and move on with your life. There are many support groups you could join that will help with the steps.

Good luck momma!!

Answer 8

I think you should have him leave and have a happy life without his drama. You and your child deserve to have the best in life and he obviously isn't it! When you both decided to bring a child into this world, you committed to take care of him/her and do what's in their best interest, as far as raising and providing for them. Since your husband doesn't seem to care about his family, I think you should give him the boot and make a better life for the both of you! The negative energy in your home is bad enough for all of you, but the dishonesty and infidelity are grounds for divorce,not to mention, an unhealthy environment to try and raise a child in! Love yourself enough to walk away from that loser and treat you and your child to a wonderful life, one that you both deserve. Believe me, you will wonder why you didn't do it sooner and one day your child will thank you!!!! Believe in yourself, you can do it!!! Hold your head high and be proud of the caring mother you are! Good luck and God Bless You Both!

Answer 9

This is not a decision you have to make today, so don't decide at once.

Instead, watch what he does. Listen to very little of what he says, watch his actions.

If he is truly remorseful and seeks to right what he did wrong, then I'd say you have an excellent chance at a happy and stronger marriage.

If he simply shifts the blame, expects you to sweep this under the rug, etc, then cut him from the team, he's not a good team player.

Again, his mouth will lie, so watch his actions.

Answer 10

You are a MUCH better judge of this....
HOWEVER.....
Things to consider:
1) will you ever trust him again?
2) how do you know he hasnt done this before?
3) why is he divorced from first wife?
4) does your hcild know? If so what lesson will staying teacher her/him?
5) is he current or former military? if so you are entitled to alimony.... ALOT for infidelity... so if you are considering staying b/c of $$, that IS a factor...
6) what kind of man is he? Does he support his other hcildren? Does he spend time with them? What about ya'lls child? That is an indicator of what kind of man he is....

Answer 11

Take the kid and go, and perhaps be a better judge of character next time. A person's past indicates what they will do in the future