Did you ever had a straight lady obsessed with you? So much so that you cringe when you're in the same room with her? I had one at work a few years ago and the tension level for me was so high no matter how much I told the powers that be about my conundrum, they were all straight and thought I should be flattered. She left two years ago and things at work are going real smooth. Now there is talk of her coming back. I brought up my concern and it was brushed off. I didn't push it, but were you in my situation how would you proceed?
2007-03-09 15:35:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Beyond the point of touchy feely, she was going through my desk when I was out of the office. Management disregarded it for some reason.
2007-03-09 15:36:50 · update #1
I was in a similar situation but it wasn't work-related. It was theater-related. An older woman (!) who I considered a friend propositioned me directly. Not once, but twice, albeit a few years apart. She said "If you ever want to know how the other half lives...you have my number." No...she wasn't joking. It made it very uncomfortable for me, especially in those on stage scenes (incidentally, my character was gay). She finally got the hint. Oddly enough...when my bf showed up for a show she was directing and I was stage managing, she asked about him the following performance. She told me "Well if he decides he wants to try the other side.....you have my number."
Okay that didn't answer question but I wanted to share that with you all. The key part was when I once actually had a boyfriend. ;-)
It sounds like she's creating a hostile work environment. The best thing to do is go to your Employee Relations dept, HR dept., or union if you're feeling harassed (which, btw, doesn't have to be sexual in nature). If it's been two years, however, give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she's matured or moved on to some other prey...I mean...maybe she's happier in her personal life now and won't feel the need to undress you with her eyes.
2007-03-09 16:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by behrmark 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you feel uncomfortable about this issue and management has refused to address and attempt to resolve/prevent the problem, I would go directly to Human Resources and speak with a Labor Relations Specialist about a potential harrassment issue. In any situation where you feel threatened or "attacked" you have a legal right for the issue to be addressed and resolved.
Keep in mind, this may result in your being transferred to another division, but not always is that the case. Good luck!
2007-03-10 00:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Brandon M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't really give you any advice on this matter just support i had a friend who liked me like that, I passed out drunk at a party and the next morning i woke up with out pants and found a note in my pocket in the next room telling me not to worry because she wouldn't tell anybody. since i was unconscious i had no idea what transpired, i then found out my friends were laughing behind my back because she told them she gave me oral sex and that i had asked her to have full on sex, odd how that can happen when i was unconscious. Anyways that was about 4 years ago and i am still getting teased, so just watch yourself at that office party. If you pass out they will do whatever they want to you, and then blame you for it somehow.
2007-03-09 23:48:14 · answer #3 · answered by roy_g_biv_83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough call there J. Not sure what to do about that. I hope you can get a desk with a lock. I have been lucky to have never been in that position, with a woman obsessed with me. But it does reek of sexual harassment!
2007-03-09 23:52:58 · answer #4 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No quite the same as you but I have had women (and men) hit on me in similar ways...leave something in your desk that she will fall for and set her up good...something that will make her look ridiculous when the truth comes out...or tell her that you are seeing another woman or that you have herpes ...or just hope she's moved on to another victim...Bottom line-don't allow yourself to be a victim...I don't think of you as one...don't let her.
2007-03-09 23:50:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be flattered if that ever happened to me, I'd probably just brush her off though similar to like you did.
2007-03-09 23:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she comes back,
tell her,
in private.
off the record,
you have herpes.
she'll avoid you like the plague.
and avoid using company bathrooms without
spraying sanitizer on the seats!
good luck!
2007-03-10 00:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋