My girlfriend and I have have been dating for 3 months. We started as friends and then she moved it turned into along distance relationship. We had known each other a few months before that. We talk every day, I'm truly in love with her. I know she really loves me we even talk about marriage and have plans to be together in a couple years after she moves back. Recently though I found out she was talking to this guy she said she talked to him a few times and it was for fun. She admits what she did was wrong and when we talk about it she gets really emotional. She told him she lovs him and she wants to be with him, she now doesnt talk to him. She said it was really stupid and we talked about it for a for a long time. But I can't get over the fact she would do this, I never expected it. I love her so much and we are so close, we tell each other everything. I don't want to let her go but it just keeps runinng over in over in my mind. I just want to make things better but I don't know how.
2007-03-09 15:07:12 · 9 answers · asked by alkacue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I feel your burn my friend. The time you mentioned that you too have been together is not long at all to know everything about each other...talking is great and dandy...but the actual truth is something different all together...its not about cutting her loose, its about your trust and piece of mind.
I know from experience, if you say, "Oh, OK...lets try to fix it"...you will feel that you settled for less and she will jump that bar...its a human thing....you must have a priority list as follows:
Things the lady of dreams MUST have,
Things the lady of dreams you would like her to have
Its nice and an extra bonus if the lady of your dreams have...
This way you know what you will compromise and what you will not....as girlfriend may come and they may go, but your standards and principles should stay the same. Believe me it may take you a bit longer to find the "One" but at least you will be comfortable....
Good luck, its not an easy thing what you are going through...
2007-03-16 05:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a long distance relationship. 3 months is not a long time to be dating - and it's not long enough to 'plan to be together in a couple of years.' Cut her loose and both of you try dating other people. If you still think you are the best choices for each other after dating awhile (there is absolutely no way that she is going to hide in a hole beause she moved away from you and don't even think about moving closer 'to keep an eye on her'), then you will both make the choice to move on to the next stage of the relationship.
2007-03-15 10:12:59 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hunny, u can't make it better. Sounds like she has moved on & u should too. It also sounds like she's stringing u along, in case the other guy doesn't work out. Re-read ur letter, especially the part where she told him she LOVED HIM, & wanted to be w/ HIM! Is this the kind of girl u want? I don't think so. I think it's time to take A GOOD HARD LOOK @ THIS RELATIONSHIP, & FIGURE OUT IF THIS IS WHAT U TRUELY WANT. I know it hurts like hell, but it is what it is. Sorry. Good Luck.
2007-03-17 22:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by louise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any good relationship is based on trust. You shouldn't condemn the love of your life for talking to a guy, as back-stabbing as you think it is, it's the best thing to test the strength of your relationship and prove to her how much you respect and trust her. If she talks to some guy, so what? it's your time to shine and look better than him, not control her and give her reasons to feel strangled. You have to believe in your relationship and not let your own insecurities ruin it. The last thing she needs is a guilt trip. If you want it to work, and you want to marry her and you value her, give her some room on that tight leash or you will lose her to a guy that allows his wife-to-be to have platonic conversations with the opposite sex.
2007-03-17 18:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is the key. mayb she was confused, after 3 months maybe she was doubting her love for u and he swept her off her feet then she came to realize she wasnt in love with him and it is u she wants. we all make mistakes and think the grass is greener on the other side, but it takes that mistake to realize what we want is right in front of us. long distance is hard but be patient, kind, understanding, trustworthy, be there. if it is meant to be u two will conquer all the barricades that are put into ur path. Thats when u will truely know u were meant to have a future together.
2007-03-16 23:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Dunkyin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its impossible to keep a romance going by long distance . Each of you should date and do your own thing . If you are meant to be together , you will be in the future . Do not waist your time . You have to live in the here and now .Let her go .
2007-03-17 12:52:56 · answer #6 · answered by darsow@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just see if she still wants to have a relationship and if so show her in every state of mind that you make wise and well thought out answers. That will get you where you want yourself
2007-03-17 22:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by Emily R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you 16 or older its cool to talk about marrige. if your not, stop! And you need to take her on a date, dont just have an old peoples relationship. Your young ( i think) act like it!
2007-03-17 21:55:24 · answer #8 · answered by jake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you forgive her then you need to truly forgive her and get over this. Give her one more chance and if she blows it then you know she is not someone who can be trusted to be faithful.
Good luck!
2007-03-09 23:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋