Should I file for divorce with my wife or stay together?

Question

My wife and I never really had a good relationship. We have a 4 year old son together. I have always been on the fringe of getting a divorce but decided to stay because we have a child. Recently we had another argument in front of her sister, but this time she brought up our son during the argument. She said our son has a small **** and it's all my fault. She then proceeded pull down my sons shorts and underwear in front of me and her sister. She said that no women will ever want him because of his small **** and it's all thanks to his daddy. That's when I finally realized it was definitely time for a divorce. I mean taking shots at me and embarassing me is one thing, but to humiliate our son like that in front of another family member is absolutely insane behavior. Should I file for a divorce or ride it out until our son is older?

Answer 1

You need to remove your son from that enviroment. That behavior is totally uncalled for. Beware though, she has anger issues and is going to blame things on you. If you can document some of her actions as you divorce it will help you. Being a guy in a position like this can really suck. Society views you as the "bad" guy until you prove otherwise. I know.......been there too. Regardless, your son needs stability, and it sounds like you're going to have to be the one to provide that. I'm know it's scary, you wonder about waiting until your son is older, cuz you know courts favor the woman with young children. Do your best to have support for your claims as you go through the process. Make sure you have support for YOU too. You're the one thinking like an adult, and parent. Keep it up, know it's not going to be easy, and know you're absolutely right to protect your child from this abuse. Humiliating your son like that under ANY circumstance is almost criminal behavior. I'm sure this is just the tip of an incredibly large iceburg you've had to deal with for some time. Control your anger when it reaises it's head and remember who is the adult here, YOU. Good Luck.

Answer 2

File for a divorce NOW. A older child takes a divorce alot harder than a younger child. He is only four, so he still wouldn't understand whats going on completely. She has no respect for you or your son. You don't have to stay in a unhealthy relationship just for the sake of your son. Getting a divorce is the best thing, after all you can still and should still take care of your son. You don't have to be with the mom to be a good father. I cant believe her, she's clownin on your dick size, but she was obviously satisfied at some point since she has a kid by your. F*** her.

Answer 3

Sounds like it's time for an attorney, a child advocate, and a divorce court. Move out, take your child with you, then file for divorce and full custody of the child. If needed, supoena her sister to testify about the humiliation your son has endured, and remind her of the situation she witnessed. If your wife is angry with you, that's one thing, but to use your son as a target in her anger, that situation was abusive, maybe this stuff happens more than you know. Why ride it out, what kind of life is that for your child, parents fighting all the time, lack of love expressed in the home, children feeling insecure and unwanted. That is neglect if you just put up with it.

Answer 4

I'm not going to say get a divorce because you can go to counseling. It sounds like she has a really bad temper. That is horrible. I have a son and no matter what I'm arguing about with my husband I never put my son in it. That hurts me for her to say that about your son. You and her need to sit down and seriously talk. Anyway, your son is 4 and he is supposed to be small so that was a stupid comment on her part. Try your hardest to get help and work things out then think about divorce. There are too many divorces in this world. Think about what your arguing about and try to avoid these arguments. Also be careful with your comments no matter how mad/hurt you are, tone and actions.

Answer 5

Ok, I'm usually the LAST one to advocate divorce. But, I think that in cases of abuse (which I think this definitely is) it's warranted. This may not be physical abuse, but it sure is emotional/psychological abuse to this poor little boy. Good for you, for being a man and sticking with your wife because it was the right thing to do, and for your son, instead of walking away and taking the easy road. Problem is, your wife is no longer only abusing you, she's abusing your son. That was probably humiliating for him - I know he's 4, but at that age they understand more than we give them credit for, and they pick up on tension in the home. No way he's going to forget that. If you'd like, give her one last chance, with the condition being that she get herself in for some serious counseling. If not, get out while you still can, but make sure your son goes with you. If you're not going to be able to get custody, then I'd have to recommend sticking it out - because as your son gets older, he's going to need you there to support him, and to help undo the damage she's doing to him psychologically. Running far, far away would be better for you, but if he's stuck with her... it's not fair to leave a child with an abusive parent.

Answer 6

Are you crazy? That woman does not deserve to be a mother with abuse like that. Do you think your 4 year old son will not be effected by that incident??

Do you think your son has not already been damaged by your arguing and lack of love? Your wife obviously has NO respect for you whatsoever...not to mention is mean, cruel and abusive. Yup...that is the kind of woman I would want to stay married to for my son. Oh my God! What are you teaching your son by staying in a painful, wretched marriage???

If you look back at my many answers that have been chosen as 'best answer' on here have I had such a strong reaction. No punches pulled here honey. You are doing your son no favors....let alone yourself.

Please leave now. Seek counseling for yourself and and legal advise about her doing crap like that to your child. Make sure you get all your ducks in a row as far as custody is concerned.

By the way...don't even bother to go to 'marriage counseling'...a woman like that has no intention of changing.

Leave and find yourself a woman who will adore you just the way you are and who will be good to your baby.

Take care.

Answer 7

Medically speaking your son is not doomed to a small penis until he is older than 18 years old when the hormones start to level off.

What your wife did was very mean to both you and your son. She shouldn't be trusted alone with him.

If you do decide on a divorce, give careful consideration to custody arrangements.

Your wife is guilty of verbal abuse....and could do serious harm to your son's self esteem.

Do what is best for your child. Your wife needs therapy.

Answer 8

You both need therapy - I would start there. It sounds as though your bedroom problems are overlapping into your world outside of the bedroom.
It's not as though he's going to stay small forever. His feet are small right now, too. As are his hands, his nose, etc. He's only 4 and he has a lot of growing to do all over. Luckily, he is too young (hopefully) to know what she was talking about and won't be affected (other than being bewildered and possibly a bit embarrassed).
How did you react to this episode? What about your sister-in-law? I know my sister (or my husband's sisters) would have spoken up and told me I was out of line if I had done anything like that. You need to start speaking up - not fighting or yelling, but calmly and firmly let her know she's being inappropriate.
I think you both need to work on your marriage - find out what the root of the problem is together with a family-oriented counselor.

Answer 9

FIRST, you should try to get proof of her behavior with the child. If you had something like that on tape, you would have it in the bag. Dont mention divorce until you have proof of the things she does that are wrong regarding the child. A man cannot get custody of a child unless he can prove that the mother is doing something to prove herself an unfit mother. I am not saying to set her up and make her look like something she is not, but if this is the kind of things she does; that is wrong. If you went to court with proof of the way she is, you will be alot better off!

Answer 10

She is absolutely crazy. That is INSANE mental abuse towards your son. I can't imagine her fixing things before your son really starts to feel long-term effects from this abuse. At the very least separate. I am appalled by what this woman has done. It makes me sick. I almost never tell someone to go straight for the divorce... but this is a definite exception if you ask me. I really do feel sick... this woman is mentally ill.