Honest Question, Please But Dont hurt me?

Question

i am a 29 year old guy, who can honestly say i still live at home and still a Virgin, never had a girlfriend, had chances but i am am very shy. I have a full time job. I dont have and friends i talk to a older women at work about my problems, and that's it. Weekends i stay in the basement only going out, either to the video or store to buy beer. which i do at home alone. I have no motivation to do anything or confidence, esteem. I have alot dreams but no motivation to push me to do them. When i'm tired i dwell on my thoughts which lead to negative thought which make me very cranky, But i am mostly cranky daily! i need Advice because i really dont want to be lonely for the rest of my life(and Suicide has run through my mind ).

Answer 1

Try to point out your most charming qualities and exercise them in the social world. Or go to the gym, make some friends, and get buff and you'll have chicks falling for you in no time. Just remember to be yourself, or be something else if you suck at life.

Answer 2

Yeah, fitness is the first step, that will build your confidence more than anything else (except maybe tequila) Get in shape, lift, run alot too. After you start feeling a bit more sure about yourself, get out and do something. Go to the bar for a drink and just soak up the atmosphere. Take up a cool hobby like mountain biking, hiking, or base jumping. This will help alot when you become somewhat skilled at it, and also make you much more interesting to talk to. Do one cock pushup a day, (jk). Check out some new music. Say fuc k and thought of suicide, thats just ****** stupid, nothing is ever that bad. If where you live is the problem, then move. Dont let the placte hold you back, get to some where that offers a variety of good activities, like colorado, montana, alaska, missouri (jk). If your sitting around being unmotivated just think to yourself "Yeah, I could sit here and watch tv all day, and never remember today or gain a story to tell from today.....or, I could _______." (you fill in the blank) Good luck man.

Answer 3

I really feel for you :/ ...... One of my coworkers told me EXACTLY what you wrote here a few months ago.. *sigh* She's now on an antidepressant and doing better.

I believe that if you want to change your life, you HAVE TO change yourself. There's no way around it. I know this is blatant, but please know that I really feel sorry for you. You basically have a general lack of surge to get up and do something which makes you inhibited and 'shy', makes you not strike conversations to random strangers or call up old friends saying, yo what's up? Let's go to the movies. You probably feel more safe isolating yourself caz it gives you a simple life. BUT your life can be much more than that! Think about something fun or inspiring and believe that you can make it happen. I know you go, "Nahh, i don't think I can do it.." Seeeeeeeeeee???? THAT IS what you gotta change! So, starting from today, how about saying to yourself, "I know I am capable, I know I can be better, and I will be" instead of saying, "I have no motivation or confidence.... : ( "

If you have an interest in something, you can try to make friends with people who share similar interest. That I think is the easiest way to make friends.

If you feel that this is coming from the way you grew up, it may be an idea to seek some professional help.. They may or may not be able to help you. But the point is for you to actually get up and do whatever you can think of to improve your sense of happiness. If you continue sitting at home doing nothing, your life will never change, and you know that well, no? Asking the question was a good first step. Hope you continue taking next steps until you get there. Best wishes.

Answer 4

You just need to get out of the basement. If your drinking beer at home alone, then just go to a bar a have one there instead. You would be amazed how many people out are out alone. I met my fiance out and he was by himself. I'm only a year older than you. You don't even have to tell any girl you meet that ur a virgin b/c she won't know, u just have to be confident. How can you be shy if you are at a bar? Just to point this out to you, alcohol is a depressant SO if your feeling down, then it it's only going to make you feel worse and could definitley make you feel bad thoughts about hurting yourself. Just watch that and be aware of the people that you would hurt forever and the things that you would miss out on. Your only 29 and that is very young!! Come on you just need to take charge and show that you are not weak and do something.

Answer 5

First thing you need to do is to grasp the fact that being shy and sensitive is not a curse! That will change your life! It did mine. Sensitivity is a gift from God if you know how to make the most of it. There are resources to help gifted highly sensitive persons to "put their lives in order" (so to speak) and become all that they can be. Look for resources by Elaine Aron and also look into MBTI typologies and learn about yourself. What you discover may surprise you. Though, I am female, I have been in your shoes. Until I learned that I am in the minority but totally normal. You probably are too. If these resources don't reveal anything to you, then I would seek professional advice. But first find out if you may just be highly sensitive normal person. The point is to feel good about yourself as you are and not feel like you have to be like everyone else. Who cares if you live a relatively solitary life? Millions of normal people do. If it makes you happy, don't feel bad. You'll find that once you feel good about yourself the way you are, others will feel good about you too and you will be able to open up more socially.

Answer 6

It sounds as though you are suffering from Major depression and I would encourage you to start by seeking an evaluation with a counselor. There are many forms of treatment available, but the most effective is a comination of medication and psychotherapy. Therapy could be of real value especially in helping you develop self-esteem and in learning skills to overcome your shyness which is contributing to your isolation and depression. Please don't feel as though this is something you need to "tough out" or fix all alone-it is isn't a character flaw or any other such nonsense and there is help available. Good luck!

Answer 7

ok first calm down everyone has shyness issues not everyone admits it 2nd i would start being more social little by little things will get easier u can start by doing thing with family going out to dinner movies anything to gain some confidence next join a group maybe people with similar problems interests or hobbies it will take time but u can overcome this i go through the same thing but i overcome it by pretending to be confident but u have to take small steps to get anywhere also i would stop drinking at home ask a sibling , cousin even ur female friend or parent out for drinks instead and don't get disapointed if they are unavailable ask other people or ask when someone might be available to go people are busy these days good luck

Answer 8

one, at any point of their life, should consider in which direction they want to point it, they need to assess their
good points as well as their weak ones and make adjustments to develop interpersonal skills.
the first thing that you should do is to get your own place,
your own first home, for you, just you. and for a few months,
live as you like, get use to what is around you.
get to know the area and all the good places to go, don't be shy, go to a bar(never, ever drive drunk,, i'm a former cop),
and get to know the guy's and gal's. have a life, then life will follow you. and by the way i have Never, Ever met a person where suicide wasn't in the back of their minds.
create a positive outlook for yourself (as only you can do it),
and it will happen.

Answer 9

Since it is difficult for you to talk to people try reading self help books, There's a lot of them, you can check your library's catalogue, or self help in a book store.
Believe me, there is a lot of good advice how to get out of stagnation.
You can also check events in your community, you can get involved in volunteering, (hospitals, animal shelter, charities) or look for evening general interest courses.
Hope it helps. By the way, forget suicide. It's permanent solution to temporary problems with no recourse. No good :-)

Answer 10

Start jogging every morning. There you can make friends. This way you will get two things - health which will keep you fresh and strong and give you confidence and the second thing is friends among which anybody can be your girl friends and later life partner.