What do you think I should do???

Question

My parents and my girlfriend's parents are friends. I known her when she was born and she know me when I was born. I found her very attractive when she is 7 years old. She liked me also. so we gotten together as boyfriend / girlfriend since age 8.We are now both 17 years old and we both love each other so much. We didn't graduate from high school yet. 2 months ago, we had sex. and now, she is pregnant. The wierdest thing is that I used the withdrawal method. I would never leave her. She's the only girl for me. Our original plans was to get married after we graduate from college. How do I explain to my parent's and my girlfriend's parents? I have a job. And now, my money is going to our future baby. I don't want to start a family yet. I was going to start a family with her when we got married. What do you think I should do?

Answer 1

Be strong and remember that telling your parents isn't meant to hurt them or make them angry - remind them that you are merely wishing to inform them of the situation and coming to them for their guidance and support.

Make sure you are both together when you tell the parents and if possible tell all four parents at the same time - some parents take it very personally that they weren't the first to know.

Be calm and assure them that it's going to be okay - this will give them time to get over the initial shock and get their wits together so you can all work out a plan.

Good luck! Accidents happen. (Don't let these guys give you a hard time - look at the Virgin Mary - life happens)

Answer 2

Actually, the least effective method of birth control is, you know, just hoping she doesn't get preganant. Second least effective is withdrawal.

Best thing to do is tell the parents, both sets, ASAP. If she's two months pregnant she's not going to start to show until the very end of the school year... you're 17, are you both seniors? Definitely get that degree... you're both going to need them.

Hopefully your parents will be able to assist you, but remember, thisis your child. You're a father now so stop thinking about what you were planning and what could have been and concentrate on what is best for your child, your girlfriend, and yourself.

Answer 3

well thats going to be a deicision involving youa dnthe girlfriend first and everyone else second....first, i would have to say make sure u et into college and complete it in a timely manner. Explain to your parents, her parents, that you all are committed to each other and though this is bad timing you want to be together and ask for their support and assistance, in limited ways, for a limited time until you are both able to provide a better way of life for yourselves. If you show that you are responsible and have at least begun to thought of a plan and you have the capacity to endure college, most parents would not let you "give up on yourself" so easily an d would try to help you out some...maybe this means you cant go as far away form hgome for college as you might have liked...maybe this means that your girlfirend, if she was planning to go to collge might have to wait until second semester or the next fall to start..but this is doable, its manageable

if you decide t still go to collge, and it reeally would be a good idea to, try to stay focused and get done in a timely manner... depending on what u are majoring in, it will be an investment in not only yr future but yr neew family as well...

few other things to address, as you now know...withdrawal method is not a relable form of birth control. and when u plan to do something, "just do it" if yr plan was to have a family with her after you all got married, then u shld have taken the necessary precaution to ensure for that.

finally, hooray for you to have grown up with your childhood sweetheart and still be in love with her today. good luck. and no matter what happens you have already had a very wonderful and special experience in having that kind of a connection with someone, and that part will never change and should always be highly treasured!

Best wishes!

Answer 4

First of all you both need to figure out together if your ready for this, and if you really are then you both need to work out a plan that includes all three of you. So that financial you can handle this. Then go to both sets of parents with your future plans including the baby. But do this together, so that you are there for each other and can explain your plan to you families. It might also be a good idea to get an ultrasound done soon, to make sure the baby is ok, and just one baby. So in cases its more than one baby, the plans can be redone.
I wish you both the best of luck and remember as things get tough don't get tough on each other, be there to support and comfort each other always or it will not work for either of you.

Answer 5

Why, oh why, oh why couldn't you have bought some condoms? Tell all of your friends to grow up and buy condoms!
Do not use the withdrawal method OR rhythm method ever again unless your married and ready for more children

Ok, with that said... I'm glad you're going to support her and the baby. Now, you have to tell your parents. Just do like you would to rip off a band aid. Just get in there and get it over with. Sure, they'll probably be angry at first. But eventually it will all be ok.

Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Take responsibility for your actions. Oh and btw, the pull out method is NOT a form of birth control. (But I guess you figured that out.)

You can still have all the things you want in life, it's just now you got to do them in a little different order. I have two kids and I work full time and go to school part time. I had my first when I was 18, so I know what it's like.

It will be a little hard but you'll survive. Tell your parents now, don't wait. It won't get any easier just harder, so do it now.

Maybe now since their is a baby in the picture, you can still get married but, just for example, you go to school/work why she stays home with the baby. (Save on childcare costs) Then when your done, she can go to school and hopefully by that time your baby will be in school and you can work. That's how my husband's parents did it and now they are pretty well off, so all their hard work payed off.

You'll make it work.

Answer 7

Life happens while you're busy making plans.

That being said you both sound like you're being responsible and I think telling your parents and asking them for the patience and understanding is a good thing to hurry up and get out of the way. Both of you will need to do that...dont feel like you need to carry this on just your shoulders.

This next few months will fly so you need to talk to you gf and ask her what she wants and support her. You were already planning to get married so obviously you love her or have serious feelings for her and you will need to speed up your plans for the two of you. I also hate to sound obvious but if you werent ready to start a family you should have done a little better in the protection dept. seeing that the pullout method is not used correctly by most that "use" the pullout method....AKA the "I forgot the rubber" method.

Good luck. You parents will probably chill out faster than you think they will.

Answer 8

"The wierdest thing is that I used the withdrawal method. " <--- That my dear is the LEAST reliable form of contraceptive

If you are not ready for a baby... yr corner shop does sell condoms.

However, you do need to tell both yr parents about the situation. From what u have said it seems that both sides will support you.

You made a mistake, these things happen, but if you have support from family u'll get thro it

Good luck & congrats

Answer 9

Sometimes we are forced to grow up fast. You have 2 options, adoption or keep the baby. Please don't even consider abortion. That is not fair to the baby. Go to your local Caring Pregnancy Center and get all the information on adoption you can. There is open adoption which means you would still be able to see your child and know him/her. There is also help out there if you do decide to keep the baby. Seek a 2nd professional option and be open and honest with your girlfriend. Trust me, I had an unplanned pregnancy before I was married and I wouldn't give up my son for the world.

Answer 10

sounds like your plans have been put on fast forward but at least you are lucky you already know she is the girls for you and were already planning on marrying her so you are far better off then most its up to you guys what to do but it sounds like you'll have to shift things around a bit trust me you'll be fine but both of you should gradute there is no excuse not too if she is 2 months then she still has roughly 32 weeks to go 8 months so theres plenty of time you should look into help in your community for young parents

and maybe even look into you starting to attend college in the summer to get a head start if the funds are avaliable