Married+2 kids/ sex life problems?

Question

Married with a 8 year old with a disablity,and a 4 year old who is way too hyper and wants all attention all the time.Hubby works out of town most the time. When he is home,flashing his unit at me every chance he gets,if it's morning and I playfuly flurt in a good mood,that night he expects sex.If i don't want it,he says i led him on by 10 hours earlyer some comment i made.If we have sex that night,he wants it the next night and gets mad when I don't. I get NO sleep! Son is up around 4am,daughter wakes 3 times a night.I am fliping tired! When hubby is gone out of town,he calls,he don't ask how kids are,how my day is,nothing of the sort,just wants to know how much money we have,how much he can spend and if I am horney.When I say no I am not horny,he says I don't love him.Says I don't talk like i miss him or care he is gone. I told him I might have an ear infection,that i hoped it wasn't (antibiotics=yeast infec) he says:Well that figures because I'm comming home tomarrow!

He got a lap top for out of town,he bugs me all the time to show him naked cam pics,or wants me to talk dirty.I want to have a conversation,a real conversation! He uses his PC to look at porn and download music! he is 43 years old!!! When he is home,he will only watch the kids for me and let me go shopping in order to get in my good graces so i will have sex with him! I want him to be with his kids because he wants to,not because he wants sex for doing it! He turns me off by his actions and I have told him that.He says his actions would chance if i gave him more sex..we go round & round about this.When he is home he gets it at least 3 times in 7 days,and it's always good ones not a fast ones. I have so much stress,besides him,I cook,clean,kids,school,garbage,snow shoveling,pay bills,make phone calls to doctors,baths,laundry,playing with kids,driving them to school when bus driver is sick!60 mile round trip! No,I am not happy he is comming home! WHY?

Answer 1

You're not happy to see your husband when he comes home because he is just one more thing you have to do. He offers you no support either emotionally or physically. All his attention is on himself and if all your attention can't be on him, then he's not happy. This man needs to grow up and realize the world does not revolve around him and his sex life. 43 is too old to be so immature.

Sit him down and explain your position clearly. Tell him you need help with the kids because you're Worn Out! Don't yell or get upset, just lay out what's happening. Suggest arranging for a baby sitter to watch the kids for a couple of days so you can get some rest and maybe feel playful when he comes home. You can't continue at this rate. All this stress is going to take it's toll on you either physically or mentally some time in the future. You need a break every once in awhile. It doesn't mean you don't love your kids and you'll be a better Mom and wife for taking a much needed break.

If you can't get through to him, you can either endure the current circumstances realizing that he may be looking for some action on the side because he feels deprived or you can dump this loser and collect alimony and child support. Don't resign yourself to this situation. You have the power to change it.