The daughter wanted to end our marriage and is making my wife choose between me or her family from her first marriage. She does not want my wife to attend marriage counselling with me. I think this is not fair to place my wife under stress. Any suggestion to help me get togather with my wife without undue pressure/influence from the daughter to retrieve our marriage?
HELP
2007-03-09 12:46:03 · 16 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Confused, if your wife of 33 years is allowing her daughter to make major decisions for her something is very wrong. If no abuse in the marriage I would say the wife is using the daughter has a way out. No one can put you under that kind of pressure unless you want them too.
2007-03-09 13:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by cejay1953 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all,a woman who has been Married to a man for 33 yrs. does not up and go to her Daughter's house because her, Daughter wanted to end her Mother's marriage. Second of all, your Wife is not a child that she, would listen to a daughter that is telling her to come live with her and leave her Husband of 33 yrs. There has to be more to the Story that you are not saying. If your Wife really Loved you,and wanted her Marriage to work, she would not have left you, if it was not your fault and you think that having a long talk with your Wife will convince her to come home to you, go ahead, and do that but, if there is probable cause as to you being the culprit, forget it, she has decided to go on with her Life, without you in the Picture.
2007-03-09 21:08:56 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say it this way. If your wife really loved you the way that she should she would not have let her daughter control her life and let her have this much power to allow her to ruin your marriage. She is letting the daughter have way too much power and there is nothing you can do about it sad to say. Try talking to your wife and ask her to go and seek marriage counseling and if she refuses to go i see no other way then for you to file for divorce in this case if she is not pleased to dwell with you and to be your wife. You should be put above her daughter in this case and obviously she does not want to do so. I also suggest you go to http://www.drphil.com and email him with this case and i feel he can help you alot with this if you will let him try. Good luck. Why did your wife leave you and want out of the marriage if i may ask?
2007-03-09 21:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is a grown woman and if she wants to make the marriage work, then she would go to counseling with you. I am thinking that there is more to this story than you are telling.
There has to be some other reason why her children don't like you. But there is more to this story than you are saying.
2007-03-09 20:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man if you got that much trouble in your life at this stage of your marriage , it's not much of a marriage walk away take everything and tell her to stay at her daughters home for good!
You have had to do something to piss off family to get that kind of treatment, and if wife doesn't see it then it's over move forward and find a new woman.
2007-03-09 20:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there is more to this, maybe you should go and try to talk with the daughter and explain your wishes of saving your marriage, then try and talk to the wife. If it is something that you have done to hurt them, you should ask for forgiveness from everyone involved before you lose your marriage.
2007-03-09 20:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 33 years, I can't imagine why your wife would abandon you for her other family members. How could your stepdaughter have such power over your wife? I don't understand that. Your wife is a grown woman with a mind of her own. If she had not wanted to leave, she would not have left. I'm sorry to say you may be fighting a losing battle.
2007-03-09 20:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Bluebellringy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why after 33 years is she leaving you? Was it not a happy marriage? I can't understand that an adult child would make a parent choose like that if all was well and happy. Does she not have her own life or are there more details you are not sharing? Was there abuse? Infidelity? Controlling? Addictions? You need to provide more details of the state of your marriage.
2007-03-09 20:52:53 · answer #8 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let it alone for awhile, see if your wife doesn't come to her senses. seems as if the daughter just doesn't like u, for some reason. best to wait and see, and not make any demands or be too pushy and immediate reconciliation at this moment. sometimes if we just back off of something it will eventually work itself out. not much u can do about the daughters influence.
2007-03-09 20:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife made the choice to leave...Obviously she isn't feeling too much stress in order to make that choice. If your wife wanted to stay with you she would have.
2007-03-10 05:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋