I have always been in dramatic & abusive relationships. Finally I decided to break up with the jerk and he ended up losing his job as a cop because of assault which just goes to prove that he is physically abusive with EVERYONE. He made me think that I could not live without him. And ashamed as I am I still feel that to some extent. I think about him often and I dont know why cause he has nothing to offer me except cheat and lies.
When he broke up with me last february I had to get away so I moved 6 hours away with 3 of my gf's and had a great summer. When I moved back home I was caught off guard by my currently single HOT neighbour (1.5 yrs single)
I was all about him 4ever. Finally unexpectedbly he stopped by and that was 6 months ago. We have been inceperable since. We both jumped in with 2 feet and talked about our future constantly. I was 100% sure I wanted to be with him 4ever. Whats is different in this relationship is that I have trust in him. He is "nice", genuine, caring and sometimes a little too nice...haha
What I am asking is I feel as though there is something missing now with the new guy. We still spent alot of time together and laugh together but something is wrong. Is my gut trying to tell me something or am I thinking this way from being emotionally abused in other situations.
I want to have my feelings for my boyfriend back again! He's perfect!
2007-03-09 12:30:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am being 100% sincere when I tell you that you need counseling.
You have been through years of mental and physical abuse. The fact is that you are used to it, even if you don't like it. That is the very reason you think that something is missing in your relationship. Deep down you think that a man has to abuse you to show his love. This kind of mentality is definitely not healthy and if you don't seek some help, you are doomed to repeat the same cycle.
It is definitely not your fault. You were victimized all these years and these are some of the aftereffects. But by all means get some professional help to deal with those unresolved issues.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to this 'perfect' guy and tell him about your past. If he cares for you like you say, then he will be more than happy to share this time of healing with you. And the two of you will be stronger for it.
All the best.
2007-03-09 12:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by fenway2k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not insane or crazy. You see your life consisted of lots of action and you had to deal with lots of abuse. You sort of expect it after awhile and you for sure don't deserve it. Let your new relationship remain and try to ***** it up a bit. Your not used of being treated well and now you are. I think you feel that something is missing because you don't have all that startling, uproar abuse. You will eventually get used of filling that empty spot with good things, I think it is just a healing process and it takes time. Good luck with whatever you do and trust that you deserve good. You don't want to be in a spot where you were with your ex. You did the right thing!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 20:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by sassygirl2473 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are...by nature...creatures of habit....once an abuser ...most likely always an abuser.....once abused most likely wil again get into abusive relationships.....i didnt ful understand the last part...if the guy in question is new (not the abusive cop) then go with your heart ...the paings ou are feeling is you are wired to associate relationships with drama ,,abuse and of course making up....that my friend takes a long time to correct.....if the guy you mentioned IS in fact the ex cop abuser....you are a glutton for punishment....stay away 100% .....ya know studies show that some of the most abusive and reckless relationships involve peace officers and their parners(spouses etc)...add the power (trips) that come w abadge ....throw a bit of stress and alcohol ( cops have one of the higest alcoholic percentages of any carreer ..along w divorce and siucide) and you have a very very volital cocktale ....turn and run......
but dont speed for he may just pull ya over and give ya a ticket!!!lol
good luck !
2007-03-09 20:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by ocxdresser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are just worried about feeling bad again. Different people means different experiences, and you should not say someone will be bad because someone has been bad to you in the past. Go with the flow, and when something goes wrong (hopefully not), make your move.
2007-03-09 20:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is normal .
Don't be afraid to talk to him and tell him of you past tell him you love him but there is a scar deep inside you that creates fear of his love he will understand you. I feel the same way as you I was abuse but i tell my boyfriend all my feeling and fears so he can understand me and he can be patient. We love them and they are the best thing we will have because their love is true. But we are afraid of that because we don't want to get hurt again and we put shield in our hearts. The only reason u think of you ex is anger he broke you so bad and destroy your self esteem you think he is right, but he is not. Contact me if you want
2007-03-09 20:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Unlucky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you need to be alone. You need to find love for yourself otherwise you will continue to suffer and search for love over and over and over and over and over. I have done this. It sucks, you look and you look and it is not there, because the whole time you should be looking at (you). You want to put your happiness in the hands of others, this way you don't have to be responsible for feeling (whatever). Wow, get out, run. Be alone for a while ..... this guy will disappear and you will find another...then another..then another...wow! Run Run Run....now.
2007-03-09 20:36:39 · answer #6 · answered by Che K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have found many women need a little bit of a guy being a jerk once in awhile. There is no excitement in a really nice guy. Maybe you should make him mad and see if he will fight with you, or if he is a pushover.
2007-03-09 20:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
BEING YOU WERE ABUSED ..YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS TRUSTING
THE NEW GUY ..THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO LAY EVERYTHING IN THE HANDS OF THE LORD ..BUT , TAKE THINGS SLOW ..AND JUST LET EVERYTHING FALL INTO PLACE
I WISH YOU THE BEST AND HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WELL FOR YOU ..GOD BLESS YOU!
2007-03-09 20:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Swm 39 4 Younger Swf Forever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your moving to fast slow down.
2007-03-09 20:35:50 · answer #9 · answered by wolf in sheep cloths 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey it seems like the only thing you are missin is the abbuse dont go back to that jerk !
2007-03-09 20:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by {to cloose is close enough} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋