my husband doesn't want to live a normal family life.?

Question

When the weekend comes along he doesn't want to stay home so lately both of us have just started going out on the weekends seperately. And now I'm having a lot of fun doing it. I would like to stay home with just us and our two kids but even if I suggested it we would end up going out one night and staying home maybe once a day once a month. Everyone says that we should stay home with the kids, but I'm not going to stay home while he goes out. Not only that, I can't get him to come to church with me either. So with this happening we just go out both days of the weekend and sometimes go out alone...to the club...to parties. Whatever. By the way we are both 21 and have been married for four years with two kids.

Answer 1

you two are headed for divorce court; it's why you see so many of the people on here mentioning that waiting until you are older to get married is better.

Answer 2

Well this is all sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Most of the problems are coming from the fact that you were married so young and had children so young. Emotionally neither of you are ready to deal with the responsiblities of parenting and marriage. You can say that you are but your actions show that you are not. Do not take is personally. I do not think that the most responsible 21 year old in the world is ready for 2 kids and a spouse. 21 is the age that most people are in college drinking all weekend and sleeping late, not being a wife and mother.

You both should be home with your children. A bar is no place for a mother or a father. You can not control your husband. No woman can control a man, many before you have tried and failed - trust me. But what you can control is your own behavior and just because he is not being a responsible parent does not give you a right to do the same. Two wrongs do not make a right. Your children deserve to be parented by their parents, not a sitter. Not to mention all the money you are spending on drinks, admission, sitters ect. that could be spent in much more practical places. Not to mention that night clubs are not the safest places to be. Have you ever really looked at the statistics of rape, robbery and other violence that takes place in and around bars? Clubs are fine once in awhile but you are just flirting with disaster.

Once in awhile I go dancing with the girls, like once a year. And a few times a year I go out for a drink with my husband. That is normal for a married couple with children. Not what is going on in your family.

Church is not something you can force either. I mean you can bring a horse to water but you can not make them drink. He has to find God on his own, pushing the issue is not going to help. Plus you are not exactly living a Christian life right now yourself. He might feel like you are being a hypocrit.

I would suggest you try to get some counseling. If that does not work, at least live a good life yourself. Maybe he will follow suit.

Answer 3

Do you want a normal family life, that's the question. You can't control what he does, but you can what you do. Not only are you leaving your kids with babysitters or whatever but what about the next day when you're tired and hung-over and they want Mum?
I was a mum at 19. I'm 33 now and believe me it goes fast. It's not a long time to wait and you will win in the end by having happy, stable kids. When I tried to keep up with my second husband's partying, my life went to hell.
Are you worried he will cheat if he goes out without you? What's your motivation for going out without him? What if you two planned a date night once a month?
Good luck and I think ultimately you need to decide what you want and do it regardless- remembering that your children did not ask to be born and you owe them.

Answer 4

you want a minimum of £21k a year to stay in a small a million mattress flat for one individual. So for that relations you would possibly want to wish both an basic sized 2 mattress flat or a 2 mattress small homestead, that you'll want to earn round £30k for. that incorporates each of the tax, and fees at the same time with internet, telephone, sky television etc. that is in case you opt for to stay on the exterior of london, at the same time with Harrow. The nearer you get to important London the better it expenditures. In important you wouldnt get a chairman to wee in for 30k

Answer 5

Get your family life together NOW!
Child protective services is only a phone call away!
If either one of you can't get it together and figure out that your kids come first then you should lose them!

If your husband goes out you need to go out, lady are you nuts.
Get your act together before it to late.
Tell husband is night out alone are over or he's going to be talking to a lawyer about divorce!

Answer 6

You guys are still young. Have fun while you have the chance. You got married at 17 years old. That's good you are still married. Take it a day at a time and don't overanalyze things.

No one in here can tell you what it is to be a responsible parent. No one in here knows your situation.

Answer 7

What do your children say when you leave them? Try to remember the look in their eyes when you leave them, it may help you find a way to want to stay home?

Answer 8

You both chose to become parents and with that choice comes responsibility ... sounds like you're both immature and shouldn't have had children. I feel sorry for your kids and that you both don't choose to spend your weekends together with them.

Answer 9

Responsible adults will prove that once they got married and had kids, them partying days were over.

Answer 10

So why did you have children again??????? I hope you are not to surprised when your children end up in jail or even worse. I feel sorry for your children as they do not have much of a chance.