We where together for 15 years and I thought we where living the American dream. We are highschool sweethearts and have two young boys. Well she got a job in the school cafeteria and a job driving the school bus. She takes field trips for the sporting events. She developed a relationship with the football coach who is also the social studies teacher. She hid it very well and I had no idea until she left me. She is in the lust phase and is acting like we did back in highschool. I feel so bad.. how long will they last? Should I wait for her to come back?
2007-03-09 12:00:13 · 9 answers · asked by The best I can do 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you live with her after she has had an affair? If you can, then just hold on a little while...the "new" will wear off, the lust will be toned down, and she will come home again.
2007-03-09 12:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its in the honeymoon stage right now, meaning she won't be open to u or anything u have to say to her. they always hide it very well, we never seem to have a clue till they are gone. depends on how he treats her, as to how long it lasts. but normally they say the stage lasts anywhere from a year to two years. the decision must be yours as if u wait it out or leave the marriage. but u will never be able to go back and feel the same about her ever again. right now especially if this just happened your still in shock, in denial, give it a while before u make a decision, but not too long. this must be such an emotional kick in the ego for u. sometimes its just best to cut your losses and go for divorce, because waiting just hurts u more emotionally, and u will always know she chose him over a long term marriage. sure your devastated now, and in no shape to make any decisions, but get some therapy, or get the support of a close friend or your pastor,someone non judge mental u can talk it out with and help u make the right decision. if he is a married man and doesn't leave his family she will come back to u, but again u will never see your marriage as it once was. good luck
2007-03-09 20:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i married my high school sweetheart 15 years ago and i have two boys with her. i have been with her for 19 years this July. we have a history of good and badness. considering that...
the problem with that is that the two of you never really had time to date as adults. she has a lot of history with you. she has two boys with you. she wants passion and for you to not see her as a sexual slam dunk. she wanted to know if there was anything better out there and you know what there isn't there is only different out there.
if you want to be with her and it sounds like you do fight for her. court her, love her, and make her understand that her relationship is not going to work for you. something motivates her, use that thing whatever it is.
2007-03-09 20:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by thom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't wait she is out sowing her wild oaks as you would say, she did not get to when she was younger does not make it right but it happens more then you think. go on with your life find some one who want to settle down and grow old together.
good luck.
2007-03-09 20:22:57 · answer #4 · answered by stanley w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want her back? I'd connect with one or more hot babes and make sure she knows she's not welcome whenever she tries to come back - which most likely she will when the coach finds something better.
2007-03-09 20:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no, don't wait, move on and then you will find a new happy family. Good luck!
2007-03-09 20:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by MIB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going to guess 6 months....
2007-03-10 04:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, dont wait.
2007-03-09 20:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by dionne m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be stupid-again.
why would you want that no good f...about?
2007-03-09 20:22:35 · answer #9 · answered by 2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋