There has been a severe lack of communication between us since day one, we were seeing each other on and off for some years, and ended up moving in together in the hope that we will get to know each other better and things will work out for us. Over past year and a half, he got totally alienanted from me and has rarely shown interest in any activities together or even talking. He is a great person, but it kills me that he is miles away from me being in the same room and he claims that I am needy for attention, and just should learn to leave him alone. I agree, but... no talking? no holidays together? never discussing the future?.... I am blaming myself for making him miserable (though he does not want to split) and this situation is causing me a lot of pain..
Please help with advice, I am just really lost and do not know if I should keep trying or all my efforts make no sense?
Thank you.
2007-03-09 11:49:26 · 17 answers · asked by 20082008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, you should split. Communication is essential to a relationship. If you cant communicate then what hope is there for the future.
You dont spend time together and you dont talk. Your blaming yourself for the relationship going south but it sounds like your the only one trying to hold it together.
You cant force a relationship when there isnt one.
2007-03-09 12:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by dionne m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i feel it still can be worked on and improved upon with some work and counseling. Seek couples or marriage counseling for help with this. Since he does not want out this is a good sign so do all you can to try and work it out. I say counseling is the best option here and if he really wants this to work the way he says he does he will be open to seeking and getting help with you for this relationship. I sure hope things get better and improve soon in your relationship. Hugs to you today. Do not blame yourself for things Just keep you chin up and stay positive and do what you can to try and better the relationship and seek the help you need. He just may not know how to communicate with you and he may need help to learn how to do so. Be patient with him and love him where he is at and keep trying as it is worth it. Good luck:)
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2007-03-09 12:22:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you in this relationship? It sounds as though he is comfortable with you and thinks you dont require attention anymore because you live together. All relationships, whether its bf/gf or best friends or siblings or even with parents need maintainence...which is communication. If YOU are unhappy and he is not, you need to tell him or this is never going to work. Be honest and dont hold it in or you will be miserable forever and not addressing it is making it much worse.
2007-03-09 11:54:40 · answer #3 · answered by mlock123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You moved in together to improve your failing relationship? I'm sorry but that was the cause of your problem. Do what you didn't have the guts to do and get out of a relationship that is making you miserable. Why choose to suffer?
The goal of dating is to find the compatible guy and weed out the incompatible guy, not latch on to the first guy with a deathgrip and make yourself sick!!!!
2007-03-09 11:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-22 18:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't look like he can do it himself so he needs to get some help and that would be the true test. If he refuses I doubt your relationship will get any better and you don't want to wait years only to realize that it won't get any better. There is no worse feeling knowing that you wasted alot of time with someone that you could have spent with someone else. If he truly loves you he will get help and if he doesn't..........I think you already know the answer to that.
2007-03-09 12:04:36 · answer #6 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it lost? Only if you BOTH give up on it.
Communication skills can be improved. They can be learned. If both you and he have the desire to make the relationship work, then yes.
First I would see a counselor.
Also talk to your boyfriend. Dicussing the future isn't necessary. Right now just talk about TODAY. Start small. Be honest and let HIM answer. Listen to him.
2007-03-09 11:53:35 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're not happy in this relationship are you? Has he shown any sign that he might change? No. Do you deserve to be unhappy? No. Why prolong the inevitable? Finish it now and give yourself a chance of future happiness.
2007-03-09 11:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by Ahwell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, if he's not willing to make things better he's not worth waiting to come around. I've waiting for someone for 11 years and his attitude towards me was the same way....so I left him....afterwards I realized he took me for granted and emotionally deprived me. Don't blame yourself. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Try to make one good last effort to talk to him about your feelings....don't take any ******** from him.....then make a discussion to leave or stay and committ to it.
2007-03-09 12:03:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is a very important part of the realaitonship. U should probally split if he doesn't want to talk to u. The only exception i guess would be if he was feeling depressed and he needed help. You should support him if that is the case.
2007-03-09 11:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jake L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋