I have heard that jealousy is insecurity but insecurity of what? even the hottest girls get cheated on. and sometimes people dont cheat on someone with better looking people. Im always thinking my bf is cheating as far as i know he hasnt. i dont know how to control myself from feeling like this.
2007-03-09 11:15:16 · 10 answers · asked by Lovely 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think you do have low self esteem. Don't worry though, you can make it better. You have to mature and believe that you are a wonderful girlfriend, and that any guy would be lucky to be with you. Once you truly believe that, you will stop worrying about it. If he really were cheating on you, there will be 10 guys wanting to go out with a catch like you.
2007-03-09 11:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, are you reaching out for reassurance from him, (that he isn't cheating)? Jealousy will ruin a good relationship very quickly. The basis of all good relationships has to be trust. What have you really got if trust is not part of it? If he is giving you reason to think that he is cheating, then maybe you should re-examine the relationship. If he isn't, then you do really need to learn that you are "RESPONSE" able...that is, that you have the power to choose how you feel. You have the power to respond to any outside stimulus as you want to. It is part of free will. How many times do people say, "I just can't help the way I feel!" That is a false statement, because you certainly can help it. Look at the situation and then choose your response and your behavior. It really is just that simple. Jealousy is also used as a form of manipulation, and I am sure that you don't want to consider yourself manipulative, but look at it realistically...if you are showing jealous behavior, then you are trying to coerce some kind of reaction from your boyfriend. Jealousy is also a form of control. Quit it! Let it rest, focus on the good things in your relationship. Start being the person that you would want for your boyfriend to be, you know what I mean. You wouldn't want your boyfriend to be distrusting you if it was for no reason! Be a loyal and trusting girlfriend, be a best friend to him, not a jealous drag! You can be however you want to be, just BE! I know this may sound overly simple, but really the only thing standing in your way is you. Take control of your self, and be who you want to be. Act as if you are that way, and before long you will be. YOU can do it! You go girl!!!
2007-03-09 19:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by wannaknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem. If you love your bf, you have to trust him. A solid relationship can't be based on jealousy and suspicion. You have to believe that your bf won't cheat on you. I don't think that it would be a very big deal to gently bring it up with your bf so that he can tell you that he loves you and wouldn't cheat on you, and then you should be all set. I know that it's hard sometimes, but the only thing you can do is trust him. If you find out that he's been cheating on you, you have the ability to leave him, but until you're certain that he has been cheating, it's not worth getting worked up and worried about. Trust me.
2007-03-09 19:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by MrMarblesTI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask anyone in a healthy relationship and they'll say trust is the single most important thing. What your jealousy is,is an imagination that your not controlling. Recognize this because our imaginations can be our worse enemy. You'll lose sleep, your appetite, your health, your mind if you don't learn to get a realistic grasp on it. Can't blame you for being cautious, what with the glamorizing of promiscuity nowadays, but don't let this stuff run you.
2007-03-09 19:31:14 · answer #4 · answered by lawolifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not so much jealousy as it is low self-esteem. Work on that and you will find that your trust issues with your boyfriend will improve. Did you have some type of experience like this in the past or is this your first relationship? Have you talked to him? How long have you been with him? Communication will help between the two of you but working on your own issues will help you.
2007-03-09 20:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by elimayme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being jealous constantly will only cause you grief--and possibly even health issues--I know, I was the queen of the jealous people.
It has you stressed and worried all the time, makes you nervous and insecure, gets you depressed, and sometimes even allows you to make a fool of yourself--it did to me.
I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful husband, after spending seven years with the worst lying, cheating, abusive, jerk on earth. He cost me nearly all of my friends--and some of my relatives. He made me feel that I was nothing without him (while he did plenty without me). He basically ruined my life--though my husband tried so hard to rebuild my confidence, I never totally recovered. I'm still on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds so many years later. Don't let a guy do this to you!!!!
2007-03-09 19:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy can be because of insecurity but not necessarily all the time -- you might not have trust in him or even yourself some people think well I'm capable of it so I assume they are too. Try building trust in him through positive experiences you've had with him. quite honestly if you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him... it'll make you go crazy and ruin your relationship with him and other future relationships.
2007-03-09 19:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it kinda sounds like u dont trust him when u aren't around him u should be mre open to him about how u feel right now it might help
2007-03-09 19:23:52 · answer #8 · answered by cindy <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, a low self-esteem makes people insecure, and they want other people's happiness.
2007-03-09 19:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try meditation just close your eyes place a plastic bag over your
head to block out light from disturbing you and breath deeply
2007-03-09 19:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by giggles 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋