I love my best friend to death, but she needs a serious reality check & I'm not sure how to go about doing it without destroying our friendship. She is a single parent to a 4 year old boy but her focus is almost completely on having a man, this has caused more issues than I care to share. She bounces checks almost as a rule & nearly every bank has closed her acct, but "this is not her fault it's hard as a single parent". Her parents have offered to help if she moves near them, but she doesn't like them enough & her job has excellent retirement benefits. Nevermind the fact that we are under 30 and she was living out of her car last year. She makes good $, but HORRIBLE decisions, yet she gets upset when people don't bail her out of whatever the crisis of the month is. She doesn't see that she is her worst enemy and the cause for her circumstances. She just continues to play the victim card. I'm really over the whole thing and it's becoming very hard to hold my peace. HELP!!!
2007-03-09 11:10:11 · 5 answers · asked by Franny 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just do it! Tell her just like you said it here. If there is any hope for her she will thank you for being the good friend that you are. If she doesn't want to be your friend anymore because your honest with her then you don't need her.
But what about the 4 year old boy. Is he being neglected?
If he is, What will you do about that situation? I hope you will know what to do. You sound like a very responsible and caring person, I just hope your friend has enough intelligence to know you are just trying to help her get a life.
12 years and you haven't rubbed off on her even a little bit?
Or try this, Make a copy of your question here and the answers you get. leave it out somewhere where she is sure to see it, hey it's worth a try!!
Good Luck
2007-03-17 01:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by CAT LADY LOO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, she is a victim. I feel sorry for her son.
I had a friend just like this, please note that I siad 'HAD'.
They don't get any better until you make them stand on their own two feet.
Yes it is difficult being a single parent, I was also one, but I never bounced a check or had to live out of a car. It's all about priorities and everybody is capable of surviving if they want to.
Tell her the cold hard facts, she will be upset with you at first, but she need you.
2007-03-09 11:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Point out to her that her child is the victim NOT her. The child has no choice but to live where she does, even if that's a car. She makes her own choices and if she cant budget her own money she needs to get help no I don't mean someone who will give her more money to fritter away I mean someone to give her financial advice. I think she sounds selfish and self centered.
2007-03-16 10:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by bren_elvis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your chances and tell her what you have told us. You would be doing that 4 year old a favor. She might get into something pretty deep(and illegal)to get money. She could suck you into all this. Get away. She's a taker, don't be her giver. Do her parents know that their grandchild was living out of a car!???
2007-03-09 11:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by janice 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to either face the fact that she is doing something wrong or the friendship is over
i mean u r tired of it too and u have ur own things to do.
u don't want to focus on someone who needs to get a life
2007-03-09 11:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by C.C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋