Is it normal to want to give up trying?

Question

Is it normal to want to give up trying to do something when you only get criticism for you actions? If you constantly take feedback on something and try to better yourself but still only hear negatives (never balanced with positives) and are consistently penalised for not doing something correctly is it a natural reaction to just want to quit all together?

Surely if you feel that despite your best efforts you can never get something right in fact there is not even improvement and the feedback gets worse with time it is only a matter of time before you say "sod this for a laugh" and put your efforts into something you can do that has some positives for you?

For instance in a relationship. If you were constantly trying to please someone and make them happy but never get any recognition for your efforts, while everything you do wrong is pointed out, eventually you would move on to someone who does appreciate what you do for them. Or, if you prepare a lovely meal for someone but because you didn't lay the cutlery out right the person wont partake in the meal... These are just examples and the second one is very extreme.

So is it a natural conclusion to walk away from something, that you are just not capable of being good at and has nowhere to go, even if you care about it?

Just want to point out that the examples I gave were not real... I would never be with someone who walks away from a meal because the cutlery isn't place correctly... It was an extreme example of behaviour. Basically because you didn't do one thing right out of a lot of things you have done or at least tried to do right you get penalised. It is hard to give proper examples.

Answer 1

is your mum tryin to get you to quit the prostitution again?



forget them they aint worth it

Answer 2

Yes it is normal especially if the criticism is not constructive. However you could change it around, make it the challenge of the century, write a small booklet "101 ways to put down a project" Involve others close to you to give you some positive feedback. Add humour you seem to have a knack for it. Put your effort into this so sincerely that it is something you can do because you think you can, or you could flip a coin.

Answer 3

I guess that would be normal to want to give up trying. But remember that you ARE doing your very best in every way, it is not your fault if the other person is not pleased with your efforts. You keep doing your best, and you can feel good about yourself. Stand up for yourself and do not let anyone criticize your best efforts. Surround yourself with people who love you and appreciate you for who you are, and not, for example, how you place the cutlery on the table.

Answer 4

What are you really asking here then?
What is the criticism you are receiving? IS it from a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or from a parent? Communication is difficult in this day and age and it is really something that needs to be worked on all the time. Have you tried sitting down and really talking about your concerns? If that hasn't worked, is there a third person you trust that can sit and not take sides and negotiate between the two of you?
Is it worth the frustration to stay? You have to ask yourself that. To have someone constantly downgrade you deminishes your self-esteem and crushes your ego. Are you willing to let that happen?

Answer 5

If someone refused to partake of a meal you prepared due to how the cutlery was laid out, this person is abusive! You need to get the toxic relationships out of your life and focus on yourself. Do not allow people with such behavior into your circle. They are control freaks and narcissistic. Quit the people, not your goals.

Answer 6

Sure, lots of people think about giving things up--particularly if they are getting a lot of negative feedback on their efforts. We need to realize that not everyone can be good at everything. That is a fact of life, however, we can still give it our best shot.

Never say 'never,' as that is a real depressive, downer attitude. Did I think that I'd go to college after all of my children were grown--I don't think so--but I did it. Still can't get a handle on that algebra, though...

Answer 7

Some things you are better off not trying to stick with and some things are worth the extra effort. Make a chart with advantages and disadvantages of each issue you are trying to decide about.

Answer 8

If the person who is doing these things is your spouse than it's all about control...Is he a scorpio???Making a person feel as though they are a failure makes you stronger in your mind As though you hold some kind of power over the person...Tell them how you feal about the whole " Brow beating " you are receiving from them...If they deny it they are not accepting that you both have a problem,they might not even realize they are doing it too you...So in short stay strong,be brave and go into the light...

Answer 9

no, i would say that if there is something u are really passionate about don't quit it just because of negative criticisms, if they think that u are not up to their standards but u are happy with what u did and u think u did ok, then u are ok and yes the positive side of it is personal rewards, you cant do things for others you have to do things for YOU

Answer 10

To me it depends on the situation taking place. but if your in a relationship that is not going anywhere and you are putting all your effort to make it work and it doesn't then I would walk away from it, no matter how I feel.

Answer 11

I believe that it is absolutley normal to want to give up on things like that, and I certainly wouldn't blame you for moving on to things you know you can do correctly. But it is important that you don't listen to other peoples negative comments on how you do things and just be happy that you even tried to do it, even if it is wrong, because everyone elses negative comments will only harsh your mellow.