Stay married or get a divorce?

Question

Okay, here is the situation..My husband and I are both 21 and have been married for four years with two kids. We love eachother very much but we are still at the age where we want to go out on the weekends and have fun. The majority of the time we go our seperate ways on the weekends. I love him very much but I also have this urge to get attention from other guys and talk to them sometimes. He hasn't cheated on me before, but I am sure he's talked to other girls too. We are getting a house built right now and have two kids but a lot of times I just fantasize about living alone with my two kids so I can do whatever I want. Half the time he doesn't want to do anything with me anyways but has said to me before if I leave him I will break his heart. If it wasn't for him holding us together I think we wouldn't still be married. I'm wishy washy..one day I want to be married and the next day I want to be single.

Answer 1

Be very careful, your great life could go down the tubes
in a heartbeat...
Don't get careless or take things for granted...
Guard your marriage, relationship and husband carefully.

Answer 2

It seems like he wants his cake and eat it too...meaning he wants the marriage thing with the kid, wife, but he wants to be a married bachelor. It also seems like you have reservations about your relationship with him too..Why aren't you going out together on the weekend and you getting a sitter? Why are you going out separately? This is not good. He is not supplying your emotional needs, and that is why you want the attention from other men.. What I think is you both married way too young. 21 years old is still young for guys and gals...because as you get older, you mature, your tastes change, the men you were interested when you were 18 and 21, you are not necessarily interested in at age 28 or 29. So now you married, had two kids, and now are going out and flirting. To me, that is an indication that something is not right with this picture. You seem to indicate that you think you made a very big mistake. But now you have two children to consider, and what effect a separation or divorce would have on them. You and your husband definitely should go for marriage counseling first before you make any decisions.. It is very important that the two of you agree to try to save your marriage before you consider divorce. Good Luck

Answer 3

You should be careful - sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. It sounds like you might not be putting enough effort into your marriage and therefore are not reaping the benefits that a healthy, love-filled relationship brings. Maybe you should try doing things with your husband and begin to enjoy the attention he gives you when you are out together. Apparently this man seems to really care for you, and his feelings for you are more heartfelt than those of the guys you hang out with on the weekends.

But if you are truly unhappy, you might want to talk to him about it, or seek marriage counseling. You wouldn't want your kids to live in a home with parents who are having an unhealthy and unhappy marriage.

Answer 4

Relationships are like that. Its actually a positive thing that you do things apart. The negative is that you do it so often.

You guys have been married for four years, so I wonder how long you were together before you got married.

Honestly, its okay to flirt with other guys, we all want to feel desirable. Problem comes in when we escalate it to something else.

If you arent having problems elsewhere then I would recommend that you guys try and do more things together, that may remind you of why you fell in love and married him in the first place.

But, you hav eto decide whats important for you. Do you think you could be happy with him? If not, then I say go.

Answer 5

yeah.....those fantasies are not nearly as good as they seem in your head. You may think "Oh, I'll get child support and he'll have the kids half the time" etc. but it never turns out like that. The fact that you guys married at 17 and are having a house built??????? is different. You guys must have good jobs, security, etc..... That is hard to find.

The problem is they are saying your party days are over but you really never got to have them since you just turned 21. Why not 'party' with your husband....he is probably going thru the same thing. And as for getting attention from other guys, it makes you feel good but you have to grow up. If you guys could transition together, it could last forever......my gut tells me he is worth keeping and that you would regret it forever if you dump him so you can 'party'..Honey, that gets old REAL quick.

Answer 6

Whoa! You are 21 and have two kids, yikes! You are going to have to grow up, and be a mom, your party days are over. Why the hell you two are not together on the weekends baffles me! If you think life is going to get easier without your husband, so you can "do whatever you want" think again, you are in for a rude awakening. I honestly do not know whether you should stay married or not, but you two probably deserve each other, so shallow.

Answer 7

I have to give your man the ^5 for effort but like you it will not make any difference. You will follow your wants even though you know how much it will hurt him and maybe the children. I believe that he should let you go to live your life your way. It is obvious that you do not want the family way. Why don't you do them all a favor and leave so they can find a team player that wants the position and is worhty of their love. It is women like you that make the institution of marriage not an instituition anymore. Thanks to women like you California has adopted a No Fault Divorce. Right up your alley.

Answer 8

You gotta realize that your partying days are over. You signed that right over when you married, and when you had two children. Of course you can still go out, but be tasteful and classy when you do. No man wants to hear about his wife flirting, or getting attention. Why do you feel the need to get this from other men? I don't. I hate it when guys stare at me. I'd much rather have my husband stare at me! I guess if you want to be immature and bail out on your marriage, then do it. You made a choice to get married at a young age, and now you have to be mature enough to stick it out through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You need to ask him why he doesn't want to go out together? Are you nice to his friends? Are you being a nag?
I guess you need to decide if you want to throw away your marriage and your family for fun, and attention from guys. You may not like my answer, but I doubt a lot of people will.

Answer 9

you can't just "throw away" your marriage just like that. It sounds like a lot is involved here. If you decide to be single, you may regret that for the rest of your life. Just because you "want attention from other guys" Are you thinking really selfish thoughts here. Think of your family and the decision that you already decided. It could really backfire on you if you make the wrong decision. And why would you want to be single just so you can get laid? You can't do what you want, you have kids.

Answer 10

You married waaaaayyyy too young! You know that.

Now, you have 2 children to consider. Before you even think about your own wish to be free and date, you have to think about what a divorce would do to your kids.

What would you even tell them? "We broke up because I wanted to date a bunch of other guys"? How do you think they would feel about that? Maybe think Mommy is pretty selfish? Leaving Daddy so you could run around?