DON"T TOUCH ME! It embarrassed me and made me feel like I did something terrible - like rape or something.. The way she was going on and on - I thought she was going to call the police on me. I was in line behind her at cash register.. I was in a daze. I was so confused. I sit at home now and hate all woman. There has been several things like this, that has happened to me in the past and I'll tell ya - It sure can make a person cynical at the world. Who is to blame for this sort of behavior that you can't touch a persons arm to get their attention? How is that violating someone? I am clean-cut and not dirty looking. But, above all - I am human being! Funny thing, is the police probably would have arrested me for assault... What a ridiculous country! I'm glad, I'll be checking out soon enough! Comments?
2007-03-09 10:34:27 · 12 answers · asked by Peter W 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
jett girl - is the type of woman I hate in this world.. I hate them!!! They make things so complex! Its a touch on the arm! Its human behavior! Its these same people that are ruining the health of the planet because they think they need sophisticated ways to do simple things.
2007-03-09 11:16:05 · update #1
It doesn't matter what you look like or how you percieve your own behaviour, you have absolutely no right to touch another person's body without their permission. Try getting their attention verbally. Many people are sensitive to certain actions or phrases and react in a way that you might find surprising or offensive. It really depends on an individuals life experiences.
Women are often afraid of men coming up behind them or touching them without warning because abuse against women by men has been a problem for centuries in this male centric society. Many women will no longer stand for behaviour that they (rightly or wrongly) deem to be inappropriate or threatening to their personal safety, and react in a way that may surprise/offend you.
Don't take it personally!
EDIT -- Whether you like it or not, Peter W, you still have no right to touch anyone (regardless if it is a woman or a man) without their permission. Stop assuming that people will be okay with you violating their personal space because that is where part of your problem is - and yes it is YOUR problem. You are responsible for all of your thoughts and actions, stop blaming and hating everyone else because they do not react in the ways that you expect them to. People are not mind readers and do not automatically know your intentions.
If that is too hard for you to think about, let alone accept, then go live in a cave.
2007-03-09 10:53:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jett Girl 3 · 2⤊ 6⤋
I think you're letting this experience make you into too much of a "victim", and warp your mind as well. By your response to "Jet girl"-your hatred is very evident. I can understand how this would make you angry...but to hate so much??!!! It's extreme, and indicative of a bigger problem than just some woman over-reacting. Her behavior was abnormal, she is obviously not emotionally well...and if YOU were "emotionally well", you would have been able to brush this off. No offense, but maybe you should see someone about this. (Oh, and I doubt very seriously you would have been arrested for "assault"...if you really believe that, you have more of a victim complex than is immediately obvious.)
2007-03-09 19:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by wendy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Compassion.
Thast person is a bit nuts and may have been raped.
For all you know, this is a severe symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder, and this person will feel very stupid if she chooses to tell her therapist about the incident.
Feel glad that you are not her, and pray for her well-being.
Also, make sure you learn to clarify that you have over-generalized things.
There is no need to be as traumatized as you are by one person, to think that ALL people will be so nasty.
You may need some help if you get stuck thinking all kinds of emotionally understandable but irrational things.
2007-03-09 10:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you just got unlucky and tapped the arm of a disturbed woman. She probably had a trauma such as rape or such. Men who have come back from war suffering from PTSD also do this as well. But you are most likey to get this from a woman than a man because rape is sadly all too common.
Who is to blame? I dunno I guess its the people that harmed her to begin with?
You shouldn't be so sensitive about it, brush it off. Be positive. Don't let people in general make you become a hatefull person.
2007-03-09 16:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by charming_imogen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the lady you touched, and Jett Girl, and Wendy G are totally nuts.
I know this lady (she is American, so she is fat as a pig because she has gland problems, of course) at school who is always touching this guy. He doesn't freak out even though he, like everyone, has had a bad experience in his life...maybe even with a woman. It is just a touch, and so like a sane person, he does not get upset. I seriously doubt that Jett Girl or Wendy G would support him even if he did complain about this lady.
2007-03-11 16:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Diana 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to try to remember that it isn't you that has caused her to not want to touched by a man or a stranger. She may have had a lot of things happen in her life that has left her feeling this way.
I'm a touchy/feely person also. I tend to touch people when I speak to them, strangers also, and I need to learn to back off. I'm awoman though, so I don't get yelled at.
In the future just learn to use your voice first. And don't touch. I know you don't mean to harm anyone, but it isn't what you want, it's what that woman wants.
2007-03-09 10:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have absolutely no idea what may have happened to this woman in her life to make her react like that. Get over it.
BTW, the way you look has no bearing on the type of person you are. I've met some down-right criminal looking men that acted like true gentlemen, and I've met some "clean cut" men that were real a$$holes.
2007-03-09 14:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lets examine the course of events:
1A) you tapped her
1B) Someone tapped her and she reacted to it based on a previous, stressful experience or perception she has learned somewhere. Her adrenal system went off causing all types of violent reactions to occur within her body. She reacted in kind by defensivly trying to ward off the thread her body/mind perceived.
2A) Your experience could now effect your future interactions with people, as it has affected your feelings about people based on gender.
2B) as mentioned in 2A, it is possible that past experiences inspired her reaction to you as well.
I feel that your gendered perception, and hers, have now been shaped by past events leading both of you to react or perceive people in a certain way.
The reason I am breaking this down is because I am hoping you can see where you might share a common bond with this person, and by seeing this you might feel empathy and compassion for this person rather than resentment. I'm also hoping you might find comfort in realizing some of these things and seeing how we are all connected as humans.
As you yourself has stated, this experience has made you cynical. Is it possible that a previous experience has caused this woman to feel cynical.
Also, this womans yelling possibly caused you to feel violated. Is it possible someone touched this woman in the past and made her feel violated as well?
Also, another possibility is PTSD or post tramatic stress disorder. Sometimes, seemingly miniscule things can trigger one's PTSD causing a myriad of emotional and physical responses and extensive feelings of duress.
I'm sorry you experienced such an awful, emotionally upsetting event. I think it was very considerate and honest of you to try and return her wallet. Incase no one said thank you to you, Thank you.
2007-03-09 10:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't like being tapped on the arm by someone I don't know...usually an "excuse me" will suffice.
It doesn't mean I think they're going to harm me...I just don't like being touched by complete strangers. That's just how I am, personally.
How about next time say something like, "Excuse me, ma'am? You dropped your wallet."
2007-03-09 11:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it was an over reaction, but who knows what she thought was going on or what her past experiences have been, or even what the state of her mental health is, perhaps next time just try and get her attention with your voice rather than touching
2007-03-09 12:24:39 · answer #10 · answered by sydneygal 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋