I don't think he loves me anymore....could he be cheating?
2007-03-09 10:21:29 · 36 answers · asked by MELISSA&ERIC 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOT ENOUGH SEX IN YOUR MARRIAGE?
2007-03-09 10:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Melissa, If your husband is not acting like a good husband should act, then there is something definitely wrong. I am sure you are a good wife, keep you home clean and are a great Mother, so you don't need to be treated like that. I cannot say whether or not he is cheating, but there are ways to find out. If you see he is not interested in you sexually anymore; if he stays out alot more than usual; if you are getting mysterious phone calls with hang=ups; if he is on his cell phone evenings when he is home in another room; if you smell perfume or see lipstick or makeup on his shirts; if he talks to you with anger and disrespect for no reason; if he is disinterested in home life and your child; then something is wrong and you have decide if you want to confront him. What I would do is in a calm manner, one evening sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him asking him why he is acting the way he has and what is wrong...If he gives you a snide answer and sluffs you off...then there is real trouble in your marriage. Suggest a marriage counselor..if he laughs at you or degrades you, then I would go to a lawyer, and proceed with a legal separation. I wish you well and I hope he comes to his senses and starts treating you with love and respect before it is too late. Do not allow him to take away your self esteem. Try to keep you head about you and be strong and think things through. You have a son to raise, and he will keep you grounded and focused. If your husband doesn't want to be married anymore, it will come to the surface very soon, as you cannot keep secrets like that forever. Best of Luck to You.
2007-03-09 10:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be rational about your thinking and feelings. Being fateful, cleaning a home and taking care of kids don't say anything about your relationship. Trying to stablish a good communication, caring for him and still have him come back to you as a real jerk, well then that's a real problem. Try to discuss your relationship in a calm way and preferably when your kid isn't around. Talk it over. Now, remember, we usually know a person and accept certain things we might not necessarily like, but that's where commitments come. Half and half. Look deeply inside you and find out what could really be happening. Did you changed? Did he? For good or bad? Make up a balance of all things, talk it over with him and then you'll know what to do. Understanding, patience and looking at things in an objective way it's always preferably then judging or accusing one another. :)
2007-03-09 10:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely because you let him be a jerk to you and still stick around or let him stick around. By staying and not doing anything about the way he treats you, he has to assume that it is okay.
If he doesn't love you anymore, or if he's cheating, why would you want to stay around him anyway.
It's not how he treats you, but how you let him treat you.
Take back control of your life dear. If you aren't happy, let him know it. Tell him your fears and if he does nothing about helping to fix it, then there's a good chance that he doesn't care at all.
Regardless he still has to pay child support, and most likely alimony too if you did the housewife thing, and child rearing thing.
It might be a good idea for him to think about that before he goes off on another tangent of making you feel terrible.
Just remember you can end it anytime you want. All it takes is a suitcase and a place to stay till you get on your feet.
Best of luck.
Frankly
2007-03-09 10:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think random people on the internet know a great deal about this guy we've never met, so it's hard to say what his motivation is.
Do you think that since you live with him, you might sometime ASK him what is going on? Ask him if he is angry for some reason?
A relationship is more than cleaning, childrearing and monogamous intentions. You should be friends and you should communicate. Ask him why this isn't happening and what you can do to make it happen.
Then again, it could be because he's a jerk.
2007-03-09 10:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by CYP450 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are more than likely to be the one he takes out his stress on.
Get to a counselor and let them know about this situation.I feel like this will all stop at that time.
I think you do a great job by taking care of the child along with house cleaning,getting the phone,the mail out of the box,removing food that is out of date from the refrig.along with cleaning the bathroom,moping all floors turning off the lights when not in use to save on your utility bill.
I know the list goes on,and on. I would not care if he divorced me because I do feel like you are a GREAT MOTHER and WIFE!!! You may want to find someone who has his heart in God. If he loves God he will love you too and the child! I would not put up with JERK actions.
2007-03-09 10:36:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
out of the blue one day my ex began treating me with such disrespect,i did nothing either, but as it turned out he was having an affair, and i believe the reason i was being treated so badly was that he wanted to be with her and not me. when there is someone else in the relationship its always the wife who gets treated unfairly and wrong. when they cheat they feel such guilt, all they want to do is get away from that person they have betrayed. so he treats u like dirt, hoping u will leave, or that enough fights will break out that he can blame it on that as his reason for leaving.
2007-03-09 10:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be but if that is the only reason you think he is cheating then you might be jumping to conclusion. Most guys are that way with thier wives because they know they are the one person that will take it and put up with it. Maybe he is taking you for granted because of all you do. Try bringing it up to him and let him know how you feel. Or say that you don't like the way he is talking to you or putting you down.
2007-03-09 10:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by vancie121 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be cheating. You mention that first.. Is it possible he's depressed, has anger issues that he's holding on to or just getting close to a midlife crisis? I hope he's not having an affair - been there done that. But keep an eye out. When he's not a jerk, ask him gently if you can talk about what is bothering him.
2007-03-09 10:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My X-husband was an emotional abuser and I was very much like you. He would treat everyone around him like gold and leave all the crap for me. He was mean, emotionally unavailable and very unapproachable. If comfronted, he became physical in that he would break things and throw temper tantrums, then storm out for hours. After counseling I finally found the strength to get out. Stop being the enabler, seek counseling and leave before your son comes to believe that this is how a man is supposed to treat a woman.
Good luck.
2007-03-09 12:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by pooterpie123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have went through this recently... every instant is different.. i don't know the personality of your guy but its not good when they start ignoring u ... i know it hurts but u need to figure out what u want ... i to have a son in the middle of this .. my husband was ignoring me and when we would speak we would argue... a lot...he never wanted to be home with me or take any responsibility for anything... i gave him the choice to put more into this marriage or leave .. and he left and it hurt but no he is realizing what he and and recently admitted to me he just was not ready to me married... i would try talking to him and if he continues maby marriage counseling ... good luck :)
2007-03-09 10:40:28 · answer #11 · answered by heather c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋