Since I found out I was pregnant with our second child my husband has been distant to say the least. I'm not even showing yet, but he acts like I'm the most vile being he's ever seen or something. I don't personally find myself attractive, but before and throughout our marriage I have had numerous offers for dates and such, and been told multiple times by many people (male and female) that I could have almost anyone I want. I've never had a poblem finding or keeping a boyfriend, and have gone through life so far being complimented and told I am attractive. So why doesn't my husband seem to like me anymore? It's like he doesn't even want to be around me. With my last pregnancy I didn't gain a lot of weight and only went from a size 3 to a size 5, everybody I knew preffered me with the extra weight saying I looked better and healthier. So what's with my husband?
2007-03-09 09:58:10 · 18 answers · asked by Jennah C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is No question that he is the father. Since I was attacked when we were living in Japan I have led a very secluded life, I stay at home currently everyday taking care of our 1.5 year old and don't leave the house without my husband. I have no friends here, we just moved here, and I don't know my way around town so I have nowhere to go. Besides due to my religious beliefs and past occurances I am strongly against cheating and infidelity. I never said I thought I was attractive but other people seem to.
2007-03-09 10:39:37 · update #1
He doesn't question paternity, he's not an idiot like some men. And he says he's happy about the pregnancy even though it was unexpected. He wasn't able to be around for the last pregnancy, he got shipped off to Korea right after we found out I was pregnant and was gone for a year. He missed everything, including the first three months of our daughters life.
2007-03-09 10:44:55 · update #2
Was he happy about you becoming pregnant? Was it planned? Maybe he is stressed about the responsibility and is showing it in this way. Personally, if my husband was treating me like this, I would put him through a wall :-) - pregnant or not!
Can you talk to him about what he is doing and how it is making you feel or do you guys not have that kind of relationship?
2007-03-09 10:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin had a husband that was just like yours. He would freak out if she gained any wieght. When she was pregnant she just had a little bump you could hardly tell she was pregnant. She went from a size 0 to a size 3 and he called her fat. She said she was so upset that she ended up having an eating disorder. If he cannot accept you for who you are then he is the one with the problem not you. You should start telling him about the men hitting up on you and see what he thinks about that. He needs to understand that he is going to change as well his hair will probably fall out and he will probably get a gut on him. Be happy at a size 5 or whatever size you are. Do not change for another person.
2007-03-09 10:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are so attractive and allowed yourself to be put in positions where other men actually have asked you for dates, it doesn't sound like you have been too loyal.
He probably believes that he is not the Father. Obviously you have been gone a lot and out and about to have all this feedback enticing your to compramise your marriage, so, that probably is the root of the angst.
I would ask for a DNA test if I was him. If things don't match up, I'd be gone in a New York second.
The only one that should be telling you that you are beautiful and all that is your Husband, but, aparently you have been putting yourself in situations to be fed this info from others.
I'd take a hard look at myself before I would my Husband. Obviously your focus hasn't been a 100% on your marriage.
2007-03-09 10:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be something deeper to this. He may be feeling left out or insecure with something. I would suggest sitting down and talking to him heart to heart and tell him how you really feel. And how hes making you feel. Maybe there is something else thats on his mind. Stress, a baby. Sometimes a change like this really makes someone think "can I handle this now or again in my life". I say talk to him. He is the only that will be able to tell you. Good luck and I hope it all works well for you.
2007-03-09 10:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by jessica c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe several things---------------
1. Lots of guys have difficulty switching from sleeping with a woman to sleeping with a mom.
2. He may have a girl friend.
3. Children are tough on any marriage..... they are not bonding, hon, as you are finding out, they are divisive
4. Having one child can generally/ or sometimes be swallowed. But now with him about to be the dad of two, and maybe just not ready for it, he is really up a tree with responsibilities, as well as what he is feeling about you, about himself, and about the children. He is obviously facing the fact that he is no longer a stud but a dad, and that is wayyyyyy different. And you are no longer the babe, but a mom..... again, wayyyyy different.... and the new roles are uncomfortable to him.... maybe terminating your marriage, if he and you did not plan this child together with complete honesty.
2007-03-09 10:09:13 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called hormones. Not his...yours. But if it's not, then there's no way any of us can tell you, the only person who can tell you how he feels is your husband himself. You need to talk with your husband, and find out how he's feeling. Maybe he feels it's not time for a 2nd child, was the pregnancy planned? Maybe he's stressed at work, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. The only way to find out is to ask him. Good luck, and take care of yourself and that new little one!
2007-03-09 10:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he has a problem with this baby, and since you're carrying it, he's angry at you. This is just a theory of course, but what else changed? You're not even showing! I think he thinks you "got pregnant" just to trap him......ridiculous I know, but like it was ALL your fault. Talk to him....get it "out in the open", then you can know what to work on with him. Either that, or it's going to be a long 9 months.
2007-03-09 10:11:34 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be many things. you sound atractive to me . how is his job? is he under a lot of stress? what about finances?
did you both want another baby? Have you talked to him about it ? Does he go out with the guys or just out ? Does he stay home ? i would think that there is something he is concerned about that he does not want you to worry about. but i really have no idea what he is like. try a bit of spice ....romance ...........erotica ............try someting new teddy ? Find out if he still ticks or just blaaaa if it is just blaa and he wont talk you both should think seriously bout this distance between you! I wish you well and congrats with the new baby
2007-03-09 10:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by kbowers41 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe he is thinking about the child your goign to ahve and doesn't realize he's neglecting you. Why not sit him down in the kitchen table and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. ANd also just have him make love to you there on teh kitechen table to prove he really loves you.
2007-03-09 10:08:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a question only your hubby can answer..
i actually detect some insecurity in your question..maybe he really doesn't feel that way at all....it could be that you feel unattractive in your pregnancy... so you feel he must feel that way too...i think pregnant women are beautiful...even if the women isn't that attractive..
talk to your man...and tell him how you feel...maybe you will get the answer that you are looking for
2007-03-09 10:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋