same guy for 20 years and I'm starting to feel like a dinosaur.. I don't go to the clubs or bars or go out cruising...I don't want to. I think that many gay people miss the boat because they are always looking for the next hot man to come along. And there always will be hotter men coming along...but somewhere you have to stop...and decide what you want out of life..Single can be good. Married can be good..,..But you should be in control of where you are. Anyone in long term relationships on here know what I am talking about..or am I really just too-long-married???
2007-03-09 09:51:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't think it's specifically gay relationships. Look at the divorce rate in straight married couples. It's sky rocketing.
I think a lot of it comes from our instant gratification society. We all have socially conditioned ADD and if it doesn't hold our interest we ditch it and move on.
I have been with my husband for 5 years now. Wouldn't dream of going anywhere else. Of course I was happy with myself before I came into the relationship, so i didn't have any trouble being happy IN the relationship.
And I completely agree that a lot of PEOPLE miss the boat on relationships. Again, nothing to do with gay or straight, it has everything to do with people.
(Side note: It makes me feel good to see that there ARE so many long term relationships answering this question. Maybe there is hope for us as a community after all.. )
2007-03-09 12:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Liam P 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! 20 years!
No, you're not too long married, sounds like you know your own score.
Short or long term relationships, one night stands, breakups, getting back together -- doesn't matter hetero, gay, bi --
It's the old adage, "The more things change, the more they stay the same."
I don't mean to sound trite but,
Perhaps, doing just a little something to your romance will make you feel less "dino-ish." Could you and your partner go out for dancing or pool? Or join up a club ("hobbies" not "clubbing") or two. Volunteer with the local Gay & Lesbian Organization?
Get out! Have a day's vacation with your spouse!
.
2007-03-09 18:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by Icteridae 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think "gay" relationships are pretty new in the whole scheme of things. Now. Its talked about. Its noticed. Openly, it has relevance. It can be a tangible experience for just about anyone to observe or be a part of. I think its premature for people to start comparing longevity of gay relationships as opposed to hetero relationships.
We haven't been afforded the luxury to screw up marriage with a 50% divorce rate. And I don't think we will. We are a conscious group of people, that hopefully don't take marriage for granted when, where, and if possible that it is afforded to us.
I hope to get married some day with someone to share my life. I admire and look up to you for your advancement and willingness to talk about your 20-year relationship.
2007-03-09 18:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am saddened at the number of "straight " unions that seem to end in tears. That's apart from the usual celeb star turns.
I had 42 years with my Gwenneth and will be forever grateful for every single day.
You are not a dinosaur, just a person with a totally practical outlook.
Rose P.
2007-03-09 18:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by rose p 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you, and you offer more evidence that gays should be allowed to marry or at least have civil unions (although I believe the government should stay out of the marriage business.)
So many more gays would think twice about their wandering eyes if this were the case.
2007-03-09 18:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by MaryCheneysAccessory 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 16 years and I don’t feel that I’m missing out on anything. I also don’t go to clubs, bars or out cruising (never was my thing, even when I was single).
2007-03-09 19:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by MrCute 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
thats a good question. I have been in 2 relationships and unfortunately none of them lasted for the longest. At this time, I think I'm going to give it a rest, only if the right person comes in my life. I learned from my mistakes and have to take it more serious this time, in choosing the right person for me.
2007-03-09 18:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Aldo 78522 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree. 15 years here. We will occasionally get curious and venture into bar world, but we always walk out going "Ok, I'm good for another 6 months".
2007-03-09 17:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
We were 18 years old, we both were not looking for a relationship, just looking for friends. 23 happy years together in May, and we adopted two children 6 years ago. (actually the children adopted us)
2007-03-09 19:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
Yes I understand completely, even though we are not quite at 7 years, you eventually learn that the latest and cutest doesn't come close to being satisfying.
2007-03-09 19:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋