about a month ago i lost my virginity, im 14, hes 19, i duno wht to do about it or tell my mum etc?

Question

im not close to her so i probably wont, its just weird the thought of having sex at 14....help?suggestions?

Answer 1

Hey x1g? Yes tell mum - this is important. Ur right he is weird & sick, taking advantage of Ur youth "statuatory rape."

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you are regretting having had sex with him. Perhaps it was a poor choice for you but one you will need to learn to deal with. PLEASE don't think that because you did it once that you have to do it again. If you don't feel right about it, just say no. I don't know where you live, but where I live 14 is the age of consent. That means that your parents cannot have your boyfriend arrested for having sex with you. This law is different in every state/country.

You say you and your mom are not close. Is there another adult you could talk it over with? Maybe an aunt, an older cousin, or perhaps a friend's parent? Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone other than your parent, especially when you are not feeling very good about what you did. I think maybe you are afraid you had sex too soon and you don't want to disappoint your mother. This is totally natural! If you don't have anyone you feel you could talk it over with, but feel you need to talk, you could try your school nurse or a guidance counsellor.

It is important that you don't punish yourself for choosing to have sex at 14. But, you must also be certain that you are not pregnant. If you didn't use any birth control, you need to do a home pregnancy test.

Also, if you feel comfortable enough with the idea of having sex at 14, you MUST learn about and practice safe sex. Please INSIST that any boy you are with wears a condom. It is the ONLY way to prevent getting an STD.

Answer 3

you're right, 14 is a little too young to start having sex. i think people should wait until at least 16. but you already did, so i'm not going to criticize you i just want to warn you that your boyfriend is breaking the law and could get in big trouble for this. not only that, he is probably just using you for sex because he can't find anyone his own age. the law is there to protect you from people like this. 5 years is a pretty big gap for us at this age. i would recommend talking to a therapist about why you are choosing to have sex at such a young age with someone that is significantly older. tell your mom if you can, but talk to a therapist first.

Answer 4

You should've known better, guys at that age only want girls who are younger for sex, he used you and you should've known. A guy who's older than you and your still in high school or middle school are predators and now u regret it dont you?

You could get pregant with his child and eventually yeah, your gonna have to tell someone, especially your mom. Nobody knows but God what shes gonna say when she finds out you had sex with a 19 year old.

You dont have to tell her, she is probably gonna find out sooner or later or she probably already knows...moms are sneaky. Maybe you should tell her right now to get it over with.

Plus, you are too young for sex, you chose the wrong path and now there will be conquences, like STD's, pregancy, or something worse and its all because of you. Guys like him are gay fags, dump him now like you would dump an old pair of last month's out of season shoes. Your mom is going to be curious if you do have HIV or pregancy going on if you decide to tell her.

Dont make another gay mistake like that again, you should be smarter than that. You cant take back ur virginty, so your kinda stuck. But you really should consider telling ur mom NOW and it is against the law for an older guy like that to be with a young girl. You both broke the laws and he could be taken to jail.

Answer 5

Hi I can only give you advice based on my own thoughts and feelings, It seems to me that you aren't ready to be haveing sex, you say it seems weird to be 14 and having sex.
That is probably your heart telling you that it is WRONG. Listen there are so many many things, problems, responsibilities that come wiht having sex. I started at 16 and regret it dearly. I am 30 now and may not ever be albe to have children with the man I love, my husband becuase I may have become infertile (not able to conceive children) due to possibly an infection that could have come from an STD, that I didn't ever know I may have had. I had an abortion at 17 , this was only my 7th time of ever having sex, and that is something that haunts me everday of my life. I cried myself to sleep every night for a year. The list of fears, problems, regrets goes on and on.
And I actually feel like it could have easily been much worse, I could have gotten HIV, I luckily escaped that, but it all takes just 1 TIME!! 1 MISTAKE.
Like someone else mentioned, do not feel like you have to have sex now with ANYONE just cause you already have. You can start all over, and start now, make a vow to love yourself and care about your health and the health of your future husband and kids, that you will wait.
Only you are going to care truly for yourself. I hate to say it, but most likely any man that wants to have sex with you now, is just using you for sex. You are so young you have your whole life ahead of you. This world is in such a hurry everything is Now, get it now, do it now, don't fall for this lie.
You are not going to MISS OUT on anything if you don't have sex, in fact it is the complete opposite if you do continue to have sex, you will probably end up missing out on alot of things later. Like your LIFE.
If I scared you then I am glad, because you should be very scared, sex is not a game, and it is a very beautiful thing but only between 2 consenting adults and in my opinion, from my own regrets, between 2 married adults. sorry if this pissses anyone off.
Take Care of yourself. And good for you for asking questions, never be afraid to ask for help.

Answer 6

If you tell anyone you are ruining ur lover's life because he can go to prison. If you keep having sex you are ruining your child's life because who will care for you and the child. You should stay with oral and not have intercourse, what if one of the other grrls he has had sex with has an STD ?
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quote:
"You tell your mom and your friend will be arrested for "STATUARY RAPE" which is a felony in most states and it carries a max sentence of 10 to 15 years in prison even if you consented to it. Make sure you make the right decision because someone life is in your hands. For his sake you should keep this to yourself unless he actually did rape you?"
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If you stay in your relationship with this guy you two are outlaw lovers and you need to remember that and keep it on the down low - get birth control - use condoms. If you two are really serious about each other check out the laws in Canada you may be legal there.
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Answer 7

You need to to talk to a trusted adult. A 19 yr old should not be having sex with a 14 yr old. It is against the law. You could be pregnant or have a STD. If you were my daughter I would want you to come to me. If you can't talk to your mother what about a friends mother, an aunt, or a teacher.

Answer 8

Sex at 14 is ok if you are ready for it,iwouldnt tell anyone but very good friends,its against the law for him and the police could become involved.

Answer 9

you should tell your mom. that man commited a crime it's called STATUARY RAPE!!!!! that sick b*stard should be put in prison! Also if you are i feel very sorry for you. a child having a child. im pretty sure children your age arent able to carry a baby for the full nine months. because of medical reasons. and if you are pregenent and are going to have the kid you might face tremindus problems while having your child or after!


-Chelsea

Answer 10

you should tell your mama so she can take him to court cuz a five years differece is illeagal unless both of you are 18 or over

and u need to get tested for std and do u know if ur actually pregnant. did u even think about this. i bet u just hopped into bed wit him

well i hope you r okay and i wish you the best of luck

Answer 11

You tell your mom and your friend will be arrested for "STATUARY RAPE" which is a felony in most states and it carries a max sentence of 10 to 15 years in prison even if you consented to it. Make sure you make the right decision because someone life is in your hands. For his sake you should keep this to yourself unless he actually did rape you?