His last name for baby or mine?

Question

Here is the story: Should I give my baby the father's last name or mine?

I am 30 weeks pregnant, or 7.5 months. The father and i are engaged. We have had problems, and some things in our relationship I prefer not to delve into--don't want to look. We are living together. But the fact is we are not married. I love this man, but I'm not sure i trust him with my and my baby's financial future. Should I give baby my last name, just in case, or his last name, also just in case, or both (although it's not very lyrical). One way or another, i can see myself spending time answering questions about why my name and baby's name aren't the same.

Answer 1

Been there done that. My fiance and I just had our first baby and like you said, somethings in the relationship you just don't want to talk about and bring up. My suggestion and opinon...if you and your fiance are willing to work on things, and try and make it work for the baby, then you should give the child his last name. Not only that, but even if you and him don't work out, but you give the child his last name, at least the child knows that his/her father cares and he can always be reached if needed. I thought about this for a long time when I was pregnant, and once you have the baby, your fiance and your relationship status may change. Things could become a lot better between the two of you. I know it did for my fiance and I. It was like the baby matured us and made us realize what we have. I know that you and your fiance love each other dearly, or else you wouldn't be pregnant. And if he is staying with you thru all of the things you have endure together, and is willing to make it work for the both of you and the baby, then that means something. He is trying and it's not too much to ask for the baby to have his last name. There can be pros and cons to the situation either way you look at it. And the decision is completely up to you. You have to think about whether or not you think you and your fiance will be together in the future, if you love each other, and if you do get married and you don't give your child his name, if the child will grow up wondering why? Then it may be too late to change it unless you're willing to pay the money to get it done.

Answer 2

Your name.

Answer 3

Being a love child with both my parents last names..........
I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT!!
I'm 28 yrs old now and to be honest I use my mothers last name more than my fathers. I cant stand writing both or saying both or explaining why I have such a long name. In you might be getting married to this guy I think you should give the child his last name.
When my son was born I gave him his fathers last name even though we are not together.

Answer 4

Give the baby your name!! You are the one growing and birthing this child, you decide for sure its name and its last name. If you do end up marrying the father, you can change the baby's name later, if you are so inclined. But if you don't....it will be much easier for you with schools, medical records, etc.

Answer 5

Ok, no one else has said this but I'm in a similair situation and I have decided to give my child his fathers last name because it sounds better. Both of our names are hard to pronounce. My last name is Slovakian but sounds and looks like it is an Italian or Spanish name, I get tons of questions about my last name. So just go with the one thats easier to spell and pronounce and has a better ring to it with the first and middle name you've picked out.

Answer 6

Give that baby your last name. If you and the baby's father ever do get married, it's very easy to do a name change. If you give the baby the father's last name and regret it later, the father has to sign off on making a name change. My daughter made this mistake and she deeply regrets it now. The chances of getting the father's signoff are very low.

Answer 7

When I had my first child I wasn't married and the people around me convinced me to give the baby my last name. I AM SO THANKFUL I LISTENED! Her father turned out to be a jerk and I would be very regretful if I had given her his last name. So, my advice to any unmarried woman would be to give the baby your last name. You can always change it later. Good luck!! I am also 30 weeks preggo :)

Answer 8

If he is listed on the birth certificate as the babys father he will need to sign a paternaty form at the hospital because you are not married. you can legally name your child whatever you want thats your choice, but make sure he fills out the proper paperwork at the hospital to make things easier on you should you two split up and you seek child support. good luck and congrats.

Answer 9

He is the father, give the baby his last name. It is not fair to the baby to deny him his father's name. Sorry but this guy was good enough to lay down with and make a baby but now not good enough for the baby to have his last name? This seems odd to me. Even if you don't end up together this is still his child.

Answer 10

Well, something to consider- if/when you get married to this man, are YOU planning to take his name or keep yours? I see nothing wrong with the baby taking your name, or with giving him your fiance's name. There are so many different varieties of families out there now that I bet people won't ask as much as you think... Good luck with your decision!