I'm a Christian, but like most Christians and everyone in general in times like these, I can't help but question, why?
About a week ago, I miscarried after being pregnant for 2.5 months. Before I became a Christian, when I was 18 years old, I had an abortion. I always regretted the abortion and have never really been able to get over it...that is...until I became pregnant recently. I was so excited, I thought God was telling me, "I forgive you, and this is my gift to you." But then I miscarried. The pain was almost unbearable, but nothing compared to the feelings I'm having. It has made me question myself, my faith, and I've also questions some of my close relationships because it seems as though it's meaningless to some, including my husband. I've tried counseling in the past because of my depression from the abortion, but it didn't work. Does anyone out there have anything to offer, in light of my situation?
2007-03-09 08:58:05 · 17 answers · asked by jody 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all, I want you to know that my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a baby myself through a miscarriage and I had similar feelings as yourself. All I know is that God does not hate you, nor is he punishing you. I know this is hard to believe right now. Two years ago I absolutely hated God...I never thought that would be poissible, but I felt like it was so unfair! As far as healing, it's hard to put a timeframe on it. You need to decide what is best for you. You can contact your local hospital and they could put you in touch with some local groups that meet to help you through this most difficult time. With regards to your husband, as hard as it is, keep the lines of communication open. He is hurting as well, and I am sure it hurts him to see your pain and know that he can't do anything to make it better.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to e-mail me.
God Bless You.
2007-03-09 09:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by dolcesole 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Were you aware that getting an abortion can cause your body to have trouble carrying a baby in the future? I would blame the physical abortion from before, or maybe the baby hadnt formed correctly. I do not believe God would punish you or EVER punish a child. Maybe it just isnt the right time, keep your faith and you will have a baby when the time is right. If not there are always other options out there. Think of all the babies with no home and those whose mothers throw them in the trash...I believe you will be a wonderful mother some day whether its a child from your own body or from anothers....and your lost baby will be there in heaven watching over his/her brother or sister...best of luck to you
2007-03-09 09:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by JLee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God may have forgiven you but the damage that you do to your self during an abortion makes it very hard for some/ most to have a successful pregnancy.
the thing is, as long as you can forgive yourself for your mistakes God can forgive you. you have been in mourning and now its time to just give your mourning up to God.
Counseling and meds cannot help with God, just forgive yourself. you cant take the past back so you shouldn't live in it.
in honesty you might not be able to have a full pregnancy, and maybe that's what God wants. ever think that the reason for it was to show you that there is someone out there who is thinking about an abortion and don't know what can happen in the future if they try to have a child. maybe you can help someone now because you now know first hand.
2007-03-09 09:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by Madrid's Finest! 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Im so sorry for your loss, but your not being punished for getting an abortion in the past. Dont give up on trying to concieve, you will get pregnant again and have a healthy baby but until than..stop beating yourself up over getting an abortion when you were 18, thats in the past.
2007-03-09 09:37:49 · answer #4 · answered by ButterFlyAngel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I am VERY much like you. I can relate to your situation very well. We all do things that we regret and maybe just plain HAVE to do for ourselves.
If you are holding onto the guilt then yes, you are punishing YOURSELF.
Abortions are very safe and unless you had abnormal side effects after your proceedure, I'm quite sure that is not the reason for your miscarriage.
2.5 months is considered still very early in your pregnancy and the body works in very wonderous ways. Your baby may have had developmental issues, the body will detect potential hazards and "protect" you.
I had a miscarriage at 3.5 months not too long ago, my baby was literally poisioning my body.
Hold tight to your faith not your history everything will be ok. I will say a prayer for you and your baby!
2007-03-09 09:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
well i don't think that your being punished for having an abortion, i knew this girl that had like 6 abortion, YES 6 abortions and she finally decided to keep the 7th child!!! i know this is disturbing!! well at least it is for me but i don't think your being punished, i think since you never got over the fact of the abortion you had, you have some guilty feelings and that's why you think that god punished you. plus i don't think god would do something like give you a child and take it away just to punish you, it would be unjust to the innocent child!! sorry for your lost! :( good luck and i hope you can find some piece of mind!!!
2007-03-09 09:18:26 · answer #6 · answered by Happymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't quit on God now!! If HE will bring you to it, HE'LL bring you through it!!
I had a demise at 7 months along and we questioned the same. What did I do? Why me? Those are all normal questions and valid questions at that. You are very hurt and the only one to blame is God. And guess what? He'll take the abuse and still stick by you thru and thru.
I was going thru Catholic conversion classes when it happened to me (Lutheran turning Catholic) and I just couldn't fathom the fact that I was going thru these classes to be closer to God and he'd do something like this to me. My husband and one of his ex-girlfriends were very young and they ended up pregnant with an end result of abortion and he cried and cried thinking that the demise was his fault because of his past. Well, the one thing I did learn in those classes that I was taking is that our Lord is not a vendictive Lord!!
What helped me through was reading books on miscarriage and knowing that others have gone through this and my pain that I am feeling is valid pain. Talking to others really helped too. I know right now its hard to talk to others because you feel to them it wasn't a baby yet and maybe they won't understand --why would you be so upset if it wasn't a baby yet right?--- Well, they WILL understand and they WILL help you if you let them.
Give yourself some time to heal. You are grieving and it takes time! Give yourself that time! You don't have to be superwoman right away. You are allowed to feel hurt and grief - this was your baby you know!!!
Hugs are sent your way and my deepest sympathies too. Keep your chin up and think positively. Keep your faith with God as He is the only one who can bring another baby your way if you promise to stay open to the idea. Don't shut down. Don't shut down the possiblities of future babies.
Good luck girly and stay strong.
2007-03-09 09:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by momto3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry for both of your losses.if you were truely sorry for having an abortion and asked for God's forgiveness then he has forgiven you. you need to forgive yourself. I'm not saying that I agree with what you done but no sin is bigger or greater than another. Once Christ has forgiven you, he has forgiven you. he is not going to hang it over your head. miscarriages happen for all kinds of reasons, the baby wasn't developing right so on and so on. Instead of Questioning your faith hold on to it and let God comfort you. The devil is trying to break your relationship with Christ. Use your past to help others that are going through/or will be going through what you have been through. God can make a witness out of your past to help others who might follow. people who have not been there don't understand like you do. quit beating yourself up and use it for the good fight. i will be praying for you. if you need to talk email me. your friend in Christ
2007-03-09 09:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by live4christ_2004 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. You definitely need close family and friends around you to help you cope! Sometimes miscarriages happen because the baby was not developing right, this is not God's fault....it's nobody's fault. Right now, it seems that you need your faith to help you get through this difficult time.
Look in the phone book, or online for support groups to cope with miscarriages....they're out there.
Goodluck and keep the faith.
2007-03-09 09:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
a miscarriage is a random act of fate, not retribution for a passed act. i do understand your fellings , having had an abortion and then suffering several miscarriages and a stillbirth before my daughter was born, but believe me feeling guilty about the abortion is uneccessary punishment for yourself, trust that you made the right decision at the time and accept that what life brings you now is separate and new
2007-03-09 09:07:59 · answer #10 · answered by sydneygal 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋