I am engaged to a wonderful guy who has a past. My best friend is old enough to be my dad, but, he cannot say anything nice about my fiance. It has just about cost the friendship. I know he's just looking out for me but I am not going to break up with my fiance just because my best friend has issues. He (friend) tries to tell me that I'm being controlled, I can't think for myself, and a few other choice remarks, but none of it is true and my friend doesn't or just won't see that. I'm afraid that there is jealousy involved and it's almost cost me the best relationship I've ever been in. My friend won't listen when I ask him not to say anything else, that I know he's concerned, but just shut-up! Help! I don't want to lose either one of them and I'm going to be the one to get hurt in the end.
2007-03-09 08:53:42 · 3 answers · asked by Lee-Lee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Best friends shouldn't have input when it comes to love/relationships. There is a big difference between them harassing you about your decisions and them giving constructive input about them being concerned for your well being.
Only thing you can do is tell your best friend straight out that you are in love with your fiance, you are getting married, and that he needs to respect you, your fiance, and your relationship or the two of you can't be friends. It's harsh, but in reality you are not marrying him, and your future husband and your relationship has to come before any friends - best friend or not.
2007-03-09 18:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may just be looking out for you or it is possible that he wishes he were the one with you. I think the only thing you can really do is have a conversation with the friend. Explain how much you value your friendship but be clear that you have decided to marry the other man. You can tell him that while you value his opinion you hope that he can be happy for you in this matter. Be clear that your decision has been made. You may want to tell him how you are concerned that his continued put downs toward your fiance could strain the friendship. Once you are married your husband will be your family and will be number one in your life. Hopefully your friend is just being too protective and will in time realize that you know what is right for you. Good luck!
2007-03-09 18:26:49 · answer #2 · answered by Allison S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bet is your so-called best friend wants to be more than friends. Mixed sex friendships are rarely 100% platonic for both people. I'm always dating the type of girl that has lots of male friends and the agenda's are obvious to me but women seem to be blind to that.
But it could still be true that he is seeing something in your fiance that love is blinding you too. If you think this is possible you should let him make his case and look at his evidence subjectively.
I fell for the girl who all of my friends hated, wish I had listened to them, I wouldn't have dumped her but I would have been repaired for her.
2007-03-09 18:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋