He cheated on my mom way back and ended up getting hiv my parents split up but it wasnt until now that i foung out the reason why. I love my dad but i feel so bad for what he did to my mom. my parents were so great all thoughtout my life they still get along which is great. I jsut dont feel conformtable talking to my dad about his condition is this normal? My dad is healthy and on meds for the hiv positive and he tells me how well he is doing on the meds and im happy for him but it makes me unformable to talk to him is this normal?
2007-03-09 08:50:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ok well i think you are going to have to find a way to get past what is bothering you. obviously your folks thought you were mature enough to be told the reason for their divorce. you need to talk to your dad and express to him why you feel this way,get it all out. and he must have been gay all along and mabey he did not want to accept himself for who he was. i do not beleive people just turn gay,you may hide it for a while but it is either there or it is not. but for your sake and for the sake of your relationship with your father you have to talk to him and be there for him!! good luck sweetie!!
2007-03-09 09:15:57 · answer #1 · answered by onecrazymama05 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it normal for a straight man to turn gay-- let's be clear here, there are few truly straight men as there are no truly gay men! Each of us is on a gradient of sexuality, with some farther to one side than the other. True Gay or straight is <5% of the population, the remaining are on this bell curve or gradient. Yep, Dad could have fathered kids, all the while also harboring feelings about other men (not terribly uncommon). The realities are, there invisible loyalties you'll always have and he may need you as much as you need him (even tho the pain causes distance). Your experience is normal... your job is to bridge the normal b/c only then can you overcome the feelings and connect in a meaningful way. To do otherwise is to live e life of misery.
2007-03-09 17:20:33 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no one "turns" gay...he always was. he was probably raised being taught that being gay is "wrong" or "evil," and that we are all supposed to grow up and get married and have kids. unfortunately, when this is constantly drummed in your head that you are "bad" and "abnormal," some will "try" to live a straight life to please others. and then they are miserable lying to themselves and to others and finally "come out." I always knew, long before I was ever with someone intimately, that I was lesbian. I stayed closeted for a long time, but I never pretended or tried to live a straight life. I do, however, know quite a few lesbians and gay guys who did...and they regret not coming out sooner. I'm sorry your dad cheated on your mom and is HIV positive, however. at least try to understand how difficult this has been as well.
he is your dad, and I hope that you still love him, but you need to talk to him about how you feel....
2007-03-09 23:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to find a time when you and your father can talk together in private. Tell him that you love him and that you are genuinely interested to know about him and his life, the struggles that he's gone through, and what it's been like for him. Be genuinely interested in this as an opportunity to learn about and truly know your own father. And when the conversation is all over, ask him if he has any advice about life that he can give you after everything he's experienced.
If he's comfortable talking about it, your father probably will really appreciate your interest and this conversation will perhaps create a new bond between you, allowing you to understand each other better than you do today.
2007-03-09 17:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by DavidGC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part, no, it isn't normal for a straight man with kids to turn gay. But what IS fairly normal is for a gay man to get married due to societal pressures, and not admit to himself or others that he is gay. I would suspect THAT is the most likely case for your father!
I'm sorry that your dad has HIV. That is a disease that I hope we can someday cure.
2007-03-09 17:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by Tikhacoffee/MisterMoo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As far as your dad turning gay . . .it happens. Peoples interest may change or maybe before he was curious but wasn't bold enough to go through with what he felt and decided to follow the heterosexual crowd. As far as how you feel, just don't keep it in sweetie. Talk about to whoever you feel comfortable talking to and then eventually trying bringing it to your parents attention.
2007-03-09 20:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by SexySlim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did his best not to tell anyone--including himself-- that he was gay. It finally caught up to him. He is your father...you only get one...talk to him about it.
2007-03-09 17:20:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
go ask him dogsh*t or atlest u need help for ur gayphobia
2007-03-09 17:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋