Should I tell my husband I had an affair?

Question

We have been married 8 months, and I just ended a 3 month affair, with the person I dated when my husband and I were "on a break" before we got engaged. I don't want to tell him, but I don't want to lie anymore either.

Answer 1

There are two correct answers to this - it depends on you.
IF you do not plan to stay faithful to him NO MATTER WHAT then you must tell him and accept whatever he decides without argument.
IF, and only IF, you truly are sorry, regret the cheating, and will do whatever it takes NEVER to do it again, then you should NOT tell him because it would hurt him only to make you feel better, and that's the opposite of love. Love is carrying the guilt with you until you die to save him the pain.
Tough choice, good luck.

Answer 2

It depends on if you want your marriage to survive. If you are completely through with this affair, and feel great remorse over it, and if you don't think there is a chance your husband will find out from another source, then I would say NO, do not tell him. It won't ease your guilt, but it will devastate your husband. What benefit would come from hurting him so deeply? You won't relieve the guilt, if, in fact, you feel any. It will be something you will have to live with. But, I do hope that you ask God to forgive you and promise yourself, your husband, and God, in your mind and heart, that you will never make that mistake again, and just work on being the best wife that you can be. You do feel remorse, right?

Answer 3

You should have never got married you miserable little Ho! What were you thinking? You just wanted the fancy ceremony and dress and nice the big ring? WTF is your problem?

Your marriage is over and is not a marriage in my book. Do HIM a favor and get the marriage anulled. You had no business cheating let alone getting married. You should have married the other Dick since you apparently preferred him over the guy whose heart you are (gonna) break(ing).

I hate people like you. Especially one that cheats so quick. If I had a way to tell your Husband, I would do it myself, cause chances are you won't tell him.

You have heaped coals upon your head. I wish you great misery and unhappiness for being so cavalier and irresponisble for what you have done.

Best to end the marriage so you can remain a liar and go bed down with whom you want. You are a perfect example as to why not just anyone should be allowed to get married. You obviously don't have any scruples, and I wouldn'tr trust you as far as I can throw my Pick-Up truck. And, no one else should trust you.

Answer 4

My wife had an affair. I can only tell you that this affair will hurt the hell out of him...there will be an inner light that he once held for you that will be forever extinguished. There is a limit to how much a person can invest themselves in with a woman capable of this....I love my wife very much, we are going strong at 20 years, but there is a limit....I don't tell her anymore that I couldn't live without her, because now I know I can....I don't tell her that I need her, or that she lights up my world anymore, because that feeling is not there. You are in a tough spot, because there is the chance he will find out anyway...this is baggage that you will carry around for awhile, and as the man, I'm not sure I'd prefer to know.

Answer 5

He will probably find out from someone down the line...so you might as well tell him. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why you married this guy, if you were still sleeping around with the other one...He must have money. Either way, you are a sad piece of work. I feel sorry for your husband, he trusted you.

Answer 6

So you were having an affair while you were seperated or once you got back together?! Still not certain on that!
Here's the deal, if you really love your husband and want to stick it out, then suck it up! It's killing you, please, you were the selfish one to begin with-quit being so selfish and concern yourself with your husbands feelings for once! Imagine how bad it would kill him to find out about the affair! If you love hima nd will do anything to make it work, suck it up and live with your pain of what you did in silence! Why hurt him to help yourself feel better!
Again with the selfish thing-you want to feel better that you did such a terrible thing, you can't handle the way it makes you feel! So you want to make devastate him to make yourself feel better! In what way does this benefit him?! It doesn't! This is really all about you you you! Make it about him! Do for him! Anytime you feel guilty, remember that you should feel guilty, and get over yourself and do something nice for him instead!

Answer 7

If you had more invested in this marriage (say, a few years, kids) I would say to swallow it and take it to your grave.

However, you were married only 5 months and had a 3 month affair???

I know nothing about your husband, but he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Before you ruin any more of his life let him go NOW. Give him a fast divorce, and let him find a woman who will love him.

Answer 8

Let me get this right - you've been married for 8 months, and just ended a 3 month affair - by my calculations that means you started the affair 5 months into your marriage. Way to go! You seem like a woman of integrity. By all means, tell him.

Answer 9

Do you love your husband? You just said the vows. You are still in a honeymoon stage. What happened? How could another man be in your life that long - 3 months. Oh my, you need therapy. Check yourself and ask yourself this question.
If I love my husband so much enough to say "I do" then why did I need another man to hold me? So, my advice don't tell him, seek help, don't do it again. If you plan on doing it again in the future, I suggest you get a divorce!!!! That man deserve a faithful wife! Would you like your husband to tell you that he cheated on you for 3 months???? Be true to yourself, girl!

Answer 10

I don't see how you can say you have been married 8 months WHEN you have had an affair for 3 months of the 8. I have no ideal how old you are but you are not ready for a relationship. Hopefully you are not Prego you have already hurt one person.
Get out of the marriage because it's very apparent that you do not love your husband. Women like you should never get married just play the field there is always guys that are waiting for women like you. Good luck you are going to need it.