Okay i am 18 yrs old and my bf now hubby just turned 19 yrs old.Both of us are still in highschool this is going to sound crazy but his parents were going to move to another state(california).We thought we would grow apart or be forced into breaking up.So when we went with his family to vegas for his grandmothers b-day the two of us snuck out of the hotel walked 3 blocks to a white chapel and got married without telling anyone .Problem is that my hubby has been failing classes and staying out late to party.We have been fighting a lot and he is grounded so i cant talk to him. In school we dont have any of the same classes either. what can i do?
2007-03-09 08:34:29 · 23 answers · asked by Katie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love him but i thought things would be stay the same not this bad or different?I am so confused?
2007-03-09 08:37:55 · update #1
Its been 6 months and things have been getting worse.
2007-03-09 08:44:59 · update #2
If you haven't told them that you got married, do.
You started fighting, now or have been on and off? It sounds like you weren't ready to get married as the situation would seem to begin with, but the fact that you are and separate houses at that makes thing difficult.
Try working things out when the grounding is over with, I am assuming that it wouldn't be a long time. Try to come to a conclusion of where the two of you are.
I am also assuming that this is both of your senior year and the move won't be till after school is over? In that case, why would you need to separate? Both of you get a job now and prepare for the future. Move out together. Get your own home like most married couples do.
2007-03-09 09:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
O…K…. and I though this only happens on the movies… LOL
Well, you two got married, so now what you two need to do is find a job somehow, each of you, and get some money so both of you can move together to your own place. Since you both are still in HS, then you need a part time and try to find a place that are just renting rooms, or maybe an efficient.
While you two are under your parent’s, that matrimony is just a piece of paper signed. But once you move together, you two will do what you want.
BUT… the way you explained things, I think he is not being serious about what you two did.
You don’t get this, but now you need to file taxes together, you have to plan for a house, family, etc, etc.. did you think about all that before going to that “white chapel”?
And believe me, your parents and his parents are going to find out about this matrimony, and hell is gonna break loose.
If you two take things seriously from now on, then things can work out. That is, not to go out late for parties, instead stay and study, and start going to each other house a lot, and showing each family that you two love each other, and want something serious.
Family is not going to allow you two to get part time jobs more likely, so is better to finish HS, then get a job, and keep on studying.
You two are about to find out what real life is.
2007-03-09 16:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I speak from experience. I did the same thing. Me and my ex eloped while I was still in HS. We tried to work it out, but we ended up divorced, we were both too "young & dumb."
The marriage lasted 5 years, then exploded. We are still good friends. I think that if we would have waited, we would have made it. But things happen for a reason.
Honestly, you have 2 choices, either get the marriage annulled, or you both need to come clean with your parents. You chose to become an adult, now you have to make adult decisions.
If you decide to work through it and stay married:
If your parents are anything like mine, you will most likely need a place to live. Start looking for p/t jobs.
If you decide to have the marriage annulled, you need to contact your town hall and find out the procedure they follow.
You are fighting because you did something unexpected, and now that it isn't working out how you expected it would, you are frustrated.
Personally, I would tell my parents, and ask them to help get the marriage annulled. Perhaps in a few years you two can work things out. You've gotten into a very sticky situation. Unfortunately, there is not an easy way out.
Good Luck
2007-03-09 16:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by BrokenOpalAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is wow....I know you are 18 and an "adult" but this was a very immature and irrational thing to do. The fact that you had to "sneak" is proof enough that neither of you is ready for marriage, let alone you are both living with your parents. Get this marriage annulled and quick before you end up having a child and really getting yourself in to something you will regret!
2007-03-09 16:45:09 · answer #4 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know your not really married unless you go to justice ofhte peace ans sign a marriage certificate which you need before getting married . I know some of hte las vegas chapels carries these on hand but you might want to find out of your really married . Do you have a married certificate ?
2007-03-09 17:17:26 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ hello_kitty_xoxo ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're his wife, you need to get him focused on his studies. He needs to start looking at how he's going to support you. Try talking to him at lunch at school. Maybe you and he weren't really ready for marriage, but now that you're there, it's time to get ready. Talk to his parents, see if you can work something out so you can help him study. Bring his grades up, get him focused on the future rather than on partying. If he were single, that might be okay, but since he's married, your future together needs to come first.
2007-03-09 17:19:19 · answer #6 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You REALLY need to tell your parents what you did. They will probably be furious (as I'm sure you already thought of before you did this). Once his parents learn that he is married they probably won't ground him from you!?!?!? Good luck to you. I don't have esp, but my guess is that things are going to get a lot worse for you before they get any better.
2007-03-09 17:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by Shel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a great story, better than a soap...please do not get pregnant. so, he's grounded?....can't stop laughing - you two need to tell the parents you got married, other wise, why did you bother? Fess up and see what they say! good girl.
2007-03-09 17:12:54 · answer #8 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I remember the days of being young. And thinking that everything is a crisis. You two are sooo young, you have alot of life ahead of you. SLOW DOWN....
i know this doesn't answer your question. But, sweetie its not the end of the world. Things have a way of working themselves out. Maybe not the way you plan....
2007-03-09 16:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by txO3blueeyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly you are not prepared for marriage. You live with your parents, you are not out of school and he is out parting. Think you need to get this marriage annulled. You can always get married to each other when you both are ready to be adults and live on your own.
2007-03-09 16:39:48 · answer #10 · answered by Kat G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋