Hey, I'm 17(almost 18)...and my boyfriend is 18. He asked me to marry him June 23rd, 2006. And we've been engaged ever since. I consider him my best friend and we do have our own lives and not just each other to hold onto. But we're very much in love and have planned to not get married until I'm finished with college. And after we have lived with each other for a least a year.
Doesn't really matter to me, but I would like hear some opinions.
Thanks :-)
2007-03-09 08:30:27 · 20 answers · asked by Virginia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with the part about waiting until you are both finished with college. Skip the living together part, though. People who live together are less likely to get married. People use the argument that they want to see if they are compatible, so they move in together. The problem is, without the commitment of marriage, every little difference becomes a reason to split up. When you are married, you have made a commitment to stay together regardless of the dirty dishes left on the counter, or the toilet seat constantly left up. By the time you are ready to get married, you will know enough about each other. You won't need to live together to "make sure" it will work out. You may find though, that the journey from 17 to 22 will change both of you, and find that you don't still want to get married. That's o.k. too. You both have a lot of growing up to do, and the things that seem important at 17 may be different at 22 or even 30. Don't feel like you have to keep a promise you made when you were still a child. Enjoy college life to the fullest, and if your relationship is still strong when you graduate, great. If not, you will have no regrets. Good luck.
2007-03-09 11:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way this is going to work out is for both of you to go ahead and go to college, live your life and have a good time. You only do it once. You both need to also get settled in your careers, and save money. in a separate account that he can't get to. This may one day come in handy should you need it. You both have get out and experience life for you respect each other, otherwise, if you don't you will both end up resenting each other, because you did not get to do what you wanted to do. I don't think you want to go into a marriage without knowing what the world is like as a separate individual.
Now when I say go out and have a fun and live your life....I dint mean to party,party,party and sleep around.....you can have fun without doing these things. I just don't want you to look back and say what if I had done this or that, gone here or there b4 I got married?....I can't do it now because we have no money, no furniture, no food.....then you will start blaming your spouse for the failure.
Think it out and be smart about it
2007-03-09 09:06:06 · answer #2 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you have a very smart plan... except the living together thing, but who am i to talk... i lived with my ex fiance and current husband before marrying.... it is very wise to wait till after college... then you will both have time to grow as individuals and as a couple without the pressure and trials of a marriage.. because that will be ur hardest job and you should only do it when u are 100% ready.. i do agree with making sure that u can each financially support yourselves without the others help as well... it just never hurts... i was engaged at your age, and i broke up with him for someone i thought was "more exciting." and he was... but now, i am married to mr. exciting and miserable and completely regretful of not staying with my high school sweetheart, who was and probably still is a wonderful man... stick to ur guns, know what you want, and never give up your dreams.. and good luck and congrats to you and ur fiance!!!
2007-03-09 11:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by shiningstar1313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in a magic age, let's face it - some people are NEVER mature enough!
It's been my experience that BY FAR the best marriages are created when people have created lives for themselves first, i.e. supporting themselves and on career paths (post college), because then they have lives to share with each other, greater understanding of what that means and more appreciation for it.
There are always exceptions, my advice is if you feel like you can't wait then it's not right.
2007-03-09 08:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Savannah Guy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you're way too young to be engaged. From my own experience, people who get engaged at a young age don't have the emotional maturity and personal commitment to make an appropriate decicsion about a life partner.
2007-03-09 11:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
After age 18, don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship
without marriage..No kids out of wedlock...Get a Pre-nup..
Don't marry anyone with problems, they won't get better
and you can't change them....
No, you are not too young to get engaged...
2007-03-09 08:37:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you're the first person i've seen who has asked this and mentioned about your future plans about school. It sounds like you pretty much have everything planned as far as going to school and then getting married and that's how I would go about it. so I don't think you're too young.
2007-03-09 08:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by angelicasongs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you are too young to be engaged or even in a serious relationship. It would be wise to do all the things that you want in your life before you settle down or get seriously involved.
2007-03-09 08:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might wait a pair greater years purely to be fullyyt specific that he's the only for you. maximum college relationships do not final lengthy yet some do if human beings take their time to get to be responsive to one yet another, end their coaching, get a job, and purely usual have stability and adulthood with themselves first earlier attempting to initiate a existence with somebody else. My aunt and uncle met one yet another in intense college and function been jointly for greater or less 10 years now, yet it somewhat is simply by fact earlier shifting in jointly they spent it sluggish aside to truly think of roughly one yet another, end their coaching, and get jobs. After that they nonetheless cared very plenty for an further and are engaged. Marriage is a extensive duty and that i might take my candy time to ensure that's what's terrific for the the two one among you men. the two one among you're very youthful and in case you men somewhat love one yet another they you will wait. do some soul-finding and attempt to discover the international earlier settling down, as quickly as you get married and function toddlers it somewhat is somewhat impossible to stay existence freely simply by fact of all your household projects. the terrific attempt of true love is time and if after some years the the two one among you men nonetheless look after one yet another, then you definately men can get married. i'm hoping all is going properly yet purely usual extremely think of roughly your determination, i'm hoping you hit upon happiness!
2016-10-17 23:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Wife and I were engaged from teenage years, and today (almost a decade after) we are happy, married, and about to have our first baby.
Does that tell you anything?
2007-03-09 08:35:08 · answer #10 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋