me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year. I have lived with him on and off for about 8 months now. He doesn't work his mom supports him. he has been married twice. Has three kids and one on the way. I am 6 months pregnant. I love this guy to death why i don't exactly know. I cook, clean, wash dishes, wash clothes fold and put them away. He doesn't do anything. He has cheated on me three times with his ex, who he is still in love with. Why can't he just love me and appreciate me??? What should I do???
2007-03-09 08:23:15 · 39 answers · asked by andrangel07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
plus i give "it" to him whenever and however he wants.
2007-03-09 08:24:11 · update #1
Ur obviously arent going to listen to ant advice we give you, why because like you said, u luv him, but just like me and many other females out there, you will get tired of it someday, SOMEDAY you will realize that you have to give yourself some respect!!! He is sleeping with his ex!!! Donesn't that mean anything to you!!! He gets his milk for free so why by the cow!!! Girl I don't know where you are from but ME? I am so sorry, if It were me, well im sorry but it would never be me!! I had a guy call me out of my name in a heated arguement, and I dumped his a** right then and there! My name isn't B*TC* my mother didn't name me that. I was with him for 3 years, ask me if I regreted it! NO! You are in a situation far worse than mine! Sweetie, would you like it if your daughter was treated like that??? Think about it! You would be furious and you know it!!! So how about you get up and put ur panties on the right way and send that lazy a** piece of crap to h**L!!! he isn't worth it!!!!!! You said it yourself, you give it to him anyway he wants it and whenever he wants it!! You can get that and then some from someone who truly loves you and respects you!!! You just dont understand!! you give and give and give and what you might end up getting is a damn disease!!!!!!!!!!!! GIRL!!! WAKE UP!!!! DAMN!!!!!!!
2007-03-09 08:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is immature and isn't going to change anytime soon. He isn't responsible, he can't make decisions, his commitments are worthless. The fact that mom supports him explains an awful lot. You have two choices....leave him and try to raise your baby on your own with minimal support from him...or stay with him and just accept him the way he is, which will mean that you understand that your marriage is open, he will cheat again and again, he doesn't love you like he loves his ex and won't help around the house ever. None of these choices are good, having a baby with this man forever links the two of you together. But stand tall, and make damn sure that whatever you do, the baby is happy, healthy, secure and given a fighting chance.
2007-03-09 08:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, no offense, but either you are dumb, or full of BS.
If things are how you described them, you have serious business to do here:
First of all, you must kick his as$ out and make him find a job, don’t care what it is, can be janitor, or a NASA technician. What matters is that he gets out and find a job. No wonder he has been divorced twice.
Then have a serious conversation with your mother in-law. Let her understand how bad it is to support he son if he is a lazy bastard. He will never achieve anything in life like that, except to be the father of many kids that are going to be taken away from him, and probably even deny to them to see their father, or worse, lie to them and never let them know he is the father.
Now, very important, you must talk to him, and put him where he belongs. If is me, I would slap him so hard he would spit all his teeth in one shot.
Let him know that:
No more sex, until he shows you he is worth it.
No more money from you or his mother, until he shows he is trying to work hard to maintain his family.
Half the “hose keeping” will be done by him when he finds a job. And while he has no job, he MUST DO 100% of the house keeping.
If he refuses to cooperate, and he has no excuse (a valid excuse), you will leave, take the kid, and ask for child support, and will sue him if he doesn’t give it to you. And will not accept money form his mother either. Has to come from him (it can be stated in the legal papers).
Everything I said has to be done as of yesterday, so right away, as you finish reading this, turn off the computer, and go and have a family meeting, as things are going to change around.
I really can’t believe how you like this guy. But love is blind, I know it. But blind or not, you have to put his as$ to work, that is for sure.
Good luck.
2007-03-09 08:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd dump this loser and find another place to live. It seems that he's lazy, spoiled, and immature. Do you actually believe that he'll ever be true to you? He's got you snowed in, just like his ex. He'll never love and appreciate you. Like the old saying, "why buy a cow when you get the milk for free". I've seen this before, time and time again, and I believe you're fighting a losing battle. Move out, make sure you put his name on the birth certificate as the father when your child is born, then make sure he pays you child support. Take him to court if you have to. Don't waste anymore time with this loser, he'll never amount to anything. Consider yourself forwarned. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-09 08:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should stop accepting less than you deserve, because as long as you do, that's all you'll get. If you're going to give your all for someone, then why do it for a player (aka loser)?
Do yourself a favor, recognize he's a cheater, who will always be a cheater (as he's proved by cheating on you three different times)...and move on with your baby. You'll save yourself lots of heartache in the long run. Tell him to get steppin, and don't let the door hit 'im where the Good Lord split 'im!
2007-03-09 08:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would pack my things. This is not the kind of man I'd wants as a role model for my child. The baby's father will always be it's father, but I'd want to set a better example and teach my child to be strong and live life to the fullest, and how could I do that when I'm wasting my time catering to someone so unappreciative. If I were you, I would hate to be in a relationship with someone who isn't putting forth as much as I am. I know, it's not as easy as it sounds, but you should leave him. Think about your child, and yourself. He won't treat either of you the way you deserve to be treated.
2007-03-09 08:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by vannaj54 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're kidding, right?
Let's see, his parents support him, you cook and clean for him, he gets "it" whenever he wants, and you're wondering why he doesn't change his ways? Honey, if I had that kind of a deal going I would do anything BUT change my ways to make sure it stayed that way!!!
Men are simple - when we get what we want we don't change, period. He's not the one with the problem, his life seems to be going as he wants. Why not make some tough decisions for once and risk finding a guy like you actually want?
Good luck...
2007-03-09 08:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by Savannah Guy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's true that love is blind... Having 3 kids but still nothing in his head (I'm sorry but it is so), he won't change to better. You deserve someone better. He won't be able to support you and your child, you will only have one more child to take care about in him. Try to forget him (though i know it's hard and sounds impossible), you are a wonderful woman and being able to love. You will find a mature man who will take care of you and your child like of his own one. When baby is born all your time will be given to him/her, it will help you to get rid of your thoughts about him.
2007-03-09 08:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by sslloonniikk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl dont waste your life hell never change and you deserve better than that **** hell never grow up hell lie to you use you and abuse you all your life and your baby there are a million guys out there dont waste your life plus do you want your child to grow up with that kind of influence a daughter that would then accept that for herself or a son who would do that to his girl KICK HIM TO THE CURB SAVE U AND BABY take it from someone who wasted 20 yrs on a guy just like that GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU save yourself and your unborn child RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
2007-03-09 08:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's taking advantage of you. he's cheated on you 3 times has 3 kids and 1 on the way and this guy doesn't work? you need to leave him and find someone who appreciates you and will take of you and your baby. you say you love him, but honestly he doesn't love you, you said he's cheated 3 times.
2007-03-09 08:28:47 · answer #10 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋