My boyfriend for only 5 months says his so ready to move in wit me and my son. His talking about marriage and all that great stuff. His never done anything to make me think twice about anything he tells me. So are things going to change between us if we do move in with each other?.?.And is it for the better or worse??
2007-03-09 08:02:21 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, don't pay too much attention to those out here who say things are going to go all wrong if you move with your significant other. After 5 months of being together, you have a good feeling if this is the right guy or not for you. If he is, then moving together will be great for both of you.
Now, my answer to your question is : Absolutely, things will change. Hey, seing someone all day, every day is very different from seing him/her when you feel like it. The majority of days, you'll be very happy to share all your moments with him, but on the flip side, it will happen occasionally that you two will get on eachother's nerves. All you need is good cummunication so that these days don't bring you apart.
Just think of the positives : cheeper rent, split expenses, he's there to share your activities and chores, you can snug whenever you want, etc. These positives far outweight the few days he'll get on your nerves...
2007-03-09 08:16:06 · answer #1 · answered by Boomer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a step dad who did something similar to this 15 years ago. Today I am married to that woman and we have 2 kids of our own 14 & 12. Her oldest son (21) lives with her ex and her daughter(19) lives with us.
First thought that comes to mind is you moving in with him. You are in a position with child were you need to be in control for your child. You'd be less vunerable if he was moving in with you because if things go bad he's the one leaving and the kid doesn't have to move all over the place.
But if do you move forward with this new family you've got to set up a one family structure. If you love this man enough to move in then you must also trust him to father the child even if the biological father is in the picture through visitation or support.
One of my greatest regrets in life has come from a miss-managed step-family structure. When at first my wife assured her 4 yr old daughter that I was not taking the place of her father, I thought it totally cool and understandable. But as time passed my wife did not let me bring up her daughter. Any time I would reprimand or discipline her, she would cry to her mother and, my wife would reverse my call. The girl manipulated her mother and the system while I sat back and watched the show. Right before my very eyes two families formed under one roof. I am not the kind of person who can give love without discipline. I don't hand out 20's and rides to the mall to anyone who doesn't answer to me. That's just the way I am. The situation has been uncomfortable for everyone and it still exists today. Last year the daughter and I had a talk and we decided we would try again to get along., and we did up until the time I felt the need to reprimand her. I calmly spoke with her about the issues in the presence of her mother and she rejected my intervention, as did her mother, just like she learned so many years ago. The moral of the story? Become one family.
And yes, It is for better.... and for worse. Good luck.
2007-03-09 16:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, things will change. Right now he sees mostly the good times. When you move in together, he will see the good and the bad. Many of the things that are private to each of you will be no longer. Your finances will be open to each other. He will see what it is like to get up with a sick child at 2am. He will see you when you are having a bad day and have no where to hide. Don't go into it with rose colored glasses, that's all I am saying. It is a good way to know if you are compatible for marriage, so if you are both ready, give it a shot. Good luck!
2007-03-09 16:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that can tell if its going to work or not let me tell you this first. Things will change but like someone else said theres not telling weather its going to be for better or worse. I am in my twenties and involved with someone in thier fourties and after only 6 months living in two different states we got engaged. I moved in with him and things changed but not badly. We love each other and truly believe we are sole mates we finish each others sentences and thoughts and say things at the same time sometimes, which by the way is kinda weird. We met on a online ps2 game. So like i said if you think its okay go for it, but if not don't, only you can tell and another thing is if you don't take a chance you'll never know.
2007-03-09 16:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by deutchtiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me just say I am almost in the same boat. I am now engaged to a wonderful man and we have only been to gether for 9 months. We moved in together when we were at 5 months, oh and I have two kids. He asked me to marry him at 6 months and we are going to vegas next month to get married. So no one can tell you if its too soon or not. It is all how you feel about him. You can ask him to let you run a background check on him if your that nervous about him living with your child. But you go with your gut and you should be okay. good Luck!
2007-03-09 16:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first year of a relationship is about learning. If he's moving in, then sure you'll experience some highs and lows.
He leaves his socks on the floor, you hate socks on the floor, you like to sleep in, he likes to get up early, etc.
If you're not ready, then tell him. You have a son and the worst thing you can do is bring someone into his life and a few months later, that someone leaves his life. Kids need stability.
I hope whatever your decision make, that you make it from your own choice, not someone elses.
2007-03-09 16:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course things are gonna change - how can they not! Only time will tell if its all for the better or worse. 5 months isn't very long to have been dating and taking this next step, but if you feel you are ready as a couple, go for it!
2007-03-09 16:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get to know each other a lot better and that may be a good thing or a bad thing. Things will change according to how you feel about his behavior when u two live together. Believe me, i use to stay over my bf's (now husband) house for weeks at a time and when we moved in together things that didnt bother me so much before began to annoy me. We worked it out though obviously. Hopefully you learn more good than bad about him when ya'll move in together. Good luck!
2007-03-09 16:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by Chrissilicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well every situation is different but speaking from my experience things changed for the worse. We lived together about 9 months and then broke up and moved out. We got back together but in the long run we broke up again. Its hard to live together and not be married for some people. If I were you I would be careful for your son's sake!!!!!
2007-03-09 16:08:48 · answer #9 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course things will change - your living together is a change and has to have an effect on your relationship. Will it be good or bad? Who knows?
But I think 5 months is not a long time to be with someone for such a big committment to happen - and you have a son to think of.
2007-03-09 16:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋