What do you do if you hate someone so much but you can't,because you have a child together?
2007-03-09 07:43:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You put the clear fact that he's a total jerk out of your mind as much as possible, and remember your child sees him/herself as a reflection of BOTH of you. Do it for the child. Just tolerate the man, as much as you can, without ripping his throat out. You'll be better off in the long run, because children grow up and learn to see the truth....and your child sill see the valiant effort you put forth to make things tolerable. You don't have to be his friend, just TOLERATE him.
2007-03-09 08:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all does it really make sence that you had a kid together eventhough you apparently HATE him.
typically what you can do to keep yourself out of this situation is to not have sex with people that you HATE.
THAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU CAN DO!
I swear to god though you better not use your child as leverage on the other. I went through the same crap when I was a kid. My parents were geniuses. They got knocked up, and hated each other. So I got to experience the inside of a court room with my parents screaming at each other. Do you really want that for your kid?
All I can say is just deal with it. You had the lack of foresight to have a child with someone you don't like. So maybe now you can pay for YOUR mistake. Just be civil to him. Don't intrude upon his rights as a father, and don't do things just to get a rise out of him.
So be mature adults and agree that you just have to deal with each other. So there is no point in holding grudges against each other. I mean besides you guys are already divorced. I've seen divorced parents that can laugh and joke with the other because they look on the brighter side and realize at least they don't have to live together anymore.
2007-03-09 07:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu have to find a way to get over it. Period. Having a long-lasting hatred of someone you'll have contact with for a long time just eats you up inside and isn't worth it - not to mention the fact that it profoundly affects your child.
Someone has to be the adult here. Just do the best you can at being the best person you can and let the rest go. Don't trash-talk him or manipulate your child against him - kids are very smart and know who's being an *** and who's not all on their own.
2007-03-09 07:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you deal with him, simple continue to hate him. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you have to like him. Now about the child, have your ex meet you at McDonald's to pick and deliver your child. This way you he has to be nice inside a public place, he is away from your place and your child will have fun.
2007-03-09 07:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by Tony S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U put parenting and the best interest of your child above your own emotions!!!. if not the by product of what your child may become may fall back on u. When it comes down to it the ONLY subject u should address with this person should be parental in nature so that u don't have to concentrate on the hatred issue!!!
2007-03-09 07:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by Papi G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i guess see someone about your feelings? To hate someone so much you must have loved him quite a lot. Try to put the anger aside and let yourself heal. Relationships that end are like a death in the family. You have to mourn it (even if your feelings are hate) and then move on. There will be many stages to your recovery and hatred is usually the first. Good luck!
2007-03-09 07:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still hate them you just have to be civil. Your child doesn't need to hear about how you hate him or stories about what a not so great dad he is....those thoughts are for you only. And if you feel you cant deal with him any longer, go to court.
2007-03-09 07:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You still need to be adult and civil in front of your child. Unfortunately the ex will always be a part of your life bc of your kid, and it would be best to keep things civil and set a good example so your child doesn't make the same mistakes you did.
2007-03-09 07:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Minimise your contact with him. Maybe a neutral family member could help by relaying messages relating to the care of your daughter. You need to decide he isn't going to have any influence or effect on you and deny him opportunities to do either. It does get easier with the passage of time - they usually get distracted when they meet someone else.
2007-03-09 07:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't anything you can do. Aside of getting the court to assign a mediator. That is someone you both communicate through, instead of communicating directly.
2007-03-09 07:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋