Im not a really feminine girl.. Any help? And no, i dont want to become a b**ch -_-?

Question

I dont know if theres something wrong with me... Im 12 and i dont really have a crush on anybody... Is there something wrong? And i love video games, and i have a couple of guy friends, i even have a deeper voice than my friends that are girls. No, im not a guy =.= Im pretty independant too, and sometimes i take pride in alot of things, maybe that'll help... Im not a fan of hot looking guys, like i dont have pics of random guys on my wall but instead i loove the show naruto and death note... I mean, i dont want to change who i am but i want to become more feminine! I feel like my friends are excluding me because of that... I dont scream really high pitched like those sissy girls but i usually just jump back and then fall on the floor laughing my head off (if someone scares me that is) I dont really care about my looks, but at least can i be more feminine?
Getting to the point:
How can i get a higher voice?
How can i become more feminine and not as masculine?
I dont wanna be bitchy

I hate shopping really, cause im too lazy to XD Im very bad at making decisions so also im very bad at shopping... Im pretty lazy too, the sports i like to play are basketball (even though i suck) golf and tennis. I grew my hair long once, but my grandma keeps insisting me to keep it short so she ends up cutting it. My mom always argues against her telling her not to cut my hair short and that i have free will, so im stuck with hair touching my shoulders. I dont like clips either, and im not KNOWN at my school as a feminine girl... One of my guy friends (he's very rude, and will make fun of ANYBODY, but its so funny when they throw it back at his face) he was saying how everybodys voice sounds higher on the phone... except mine -.-... And people keep thinking im a guy on the phone!

Yes, i've gone through puberty (even my... err... *insert name of punctuation here*

Im also afraid that i wont get a boyfriend either... :'(

Oh btw, i am spoiled... But not with clothes cuz i dont really care about them XD I love talking on the phone with my friends, but i have a feeling my friends are leaving me as well (check my other question) i hate make up, dressing up, looking all pretty, because i think that all those stuff are just pure crap! At my school im known for my artistic abilities and naruto obsession too XD

Lol i NEVER put my hair up! My friends (last year and the year before that) would randomely grab me and try to put my hair up XD But of course, it was for fun! Its not like they were molesting me >.>.... Lip gloss is a definite no-no.. My parents (well my mom) also wonders why im so.. boyish.. But i think its cause when i was growing up i used to play with my cousins alot... 4 of my cousins... who were all guys. So maybe thats why, but anyways im gettin off topic. My fave colours are blue green and orange (which i wear obviously) but NOT pink, purple, and yellow! Those are the worst colours i can think of >.< No offense to people. I dont like wearing white either (shirts)

My mom tells me to never ever use perfume, lip stick, eye shadow, *insert humoungus list of crap here* and stuff like that. So plz dont mention that!

Answer 1

Femininity is not a function of the pitch of your voice, or faked weakness, or preferring to hang out with guys. Look at Kathleen Turner... a very deep voice, and back in her day she was a *huge* sex symbol.

The liking boys will come along in the next few years, and from what I recall, my gfs at age 12 would act very boycrazy but didn't actually know how to deal with guys. Because you can be friends with guys, you're actually operating on a more advanced level than your girlfriends. If you feel like you're being shut out, you can always fake it.... when they are talking about guys, just say "Yeah, he's hot." or "I so wish he'd ask me out." You won't be expected to follow through.

As far as the voice thing, just try and be mindful when you speak. This is good advice just in general... whenever you hear yourself doing something verbal you don't like, try and catch yourself and stop it. Eventually it will become habit.

In general, I suggest you pick and choose the aspects of femininity you like. I like doing makeup and clothes shopping but I hate doing things to my hair or talking on the phone. So I wear a lot of ponytails and send email. I also work in a very guy-dominated field and have a deep voice. But none of this has made it impossible for me to fall in love and be loved back, or make lasting friendships with other women.

Answer 2

Having menses does not mean that you've gone through puberty. It might take a few more years for you to fully develop and start feeling "feminine". I suppose you are saying you don't feel like the stereotypical girl. Don't worry, you are doing fine. You seem to have a pretty good sense of what you like and who you are. Many a girl would want to be in your shoes right now. I'd suggest just doing little things. Try changing the color of your clothes, or the style, slightly to lighter, "girly" colors such as yellow, purple, pink. Try putting your hair up once in a while. I wouldn't suggest make-up at your young age but maybe some lipgloss. If you really want to change your voice you are going to need a voice coach and that could be expensive. I do hope I've helped, or someone else has. Good luck!

Answer 3

I know what you're going through. I was the same way growing. I was an extreme tom-boy and was anything but feminine. The first person who answered is right, you are only twelve and you have plenty of time. The deep voice doesn't mean anything, except that you would make a good alto in a choir. I have found that femininity is a state of mind. I too got fed up with being more masculine when I was about 15. Something that helped was to have confidence in myself. Dress nicely (not prissy, but comfortable casual) and ware my hair down occasionaly. But the point is that you are comfortable with you. Regardless of how you act because you are a female you are then feminine. So hang in there! Think happy confident thoughts and be yourself.

Answer 4

Girl, relax. You're 12 years old. You don't have to be a woman yet. Take your time. Enjoy what you have. It'll all come naturally when you're older. You don't have to be something you're not. Your voice is part of who you are. If you really want to be feminine, you can do so without becoming fake. You can grow your hair, or wear cute clips in it. You don't have to change big things about you to be feminine.

And personally, there are lots of guys who would rather like the anime fangirl than the fake ditzy girls. That way, they know they're getting a girl they can talk to about stuff they like, too.

Answer 5

You're voice will eventually change to a bit higher tone. I was the exact same way when i was your age, i'm 19 now. Its all about your hormones, and your body is growing a TON right now, so you will probably feel like that for a couple more years or so. I was such a tomboy up until i was about sixteen, i think i just had to grow into myself. dont change who you are to fit what everyone else is though, cuz who you are is beautiful!!! be proud of who you are

Answer 6

Just know that the next few years in school are very tough for most young people. Kids your age are not exactly known for their kindness.
You sound like a fantastic kid who has a good idea of who you are. Don't worry about your voice. Not a lot you can do about it. Don't try to artificially become more feminine. Stay true to yourself. Most importantly, maintain a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor. If you learn how to have a sense of humor about yourself, you will get along a lot better with your peers.

Answer 7

You are still young and with time a lot of things will change. I would work on your self-esteem for right now. Its more important that you love and accept yourself then focusing on what others may think. Once you can think and feel more independently you will be surprised how everything else falls into place..
You will be fine, but good luck anyway..

Answer 8

holy crap, listen i am 12 with the same problem,deeper voice, guy friends tom-boy.baggy jeans love for video games you name it. (but i have a boyfriend) listen, as you get older you will be around the girly girls and you will see that its not that bad! after i wore a pair of girl pants and nice shirt,i had guys all around me. If those girls exclude you ignore them. You know what i heard once? if you are wearing guys pants, they are also girl pants if a girl wears them. With puberty everything will change. Good Luck! and God Bless

Answer 9

start small try using color in tee-shirts like wear light red ,not pink because we trying baby steps ,next try smelling good with a good perfume that would make you feel more feminine,far as your voice it will change in time lots of women who are good singers have deeper voices ,and by the way there is no need to worry about crushes they come with time .all of us grow at different rates so you cant compare yourself to you friends.

Answer 10

Just relax and let nature take its course! Throw on a skirt once in awhile, where a pair of earrings.

Hwever, the boys are going to eat up in a few years! Not all boys like squealing, prissy girls!

The most imortant thing is to be yourself!