Can my ex wife use the maintenance for my kids to pay her credit card bills?

Question

I bought a bus because I have 2 kids aged 2 and 4. She has a daughter aged 17. Her mother died last year of cancer as did my stepfather (within a week of each other) and I like to try to take us all out to do things together (she says the weekends are her time and doesn't go). I have a demanding job which involves some travel. I am not a saint and I have been with my wife (yet to divorce) on and off for 17 years. I really just want to ensure that when I pick my kids up they live in a warm house, have matching socks, get their hair cut by someone qualified and generally get looked after. My ex does a great job as a mother in general but i do object to re-mortgaging my own flat to pay for her lifestyle. I pay for cable, broadband, tv's etc and she spends everything. Can I stop her legally in the UK from wasting the money without getting her busted by the authorities or wating money for the kids on lawyers?

Answer 1

if you haven't got a proper maintence in place see a solicitor as its money for her basically she can spend it anyway she wants if you feel your kids aren't being looked after apply for more custody.
if you see them at weekends get them the stuff they need instead of getting your ex partner buying it.you have no responsibltiy for cable or her phone or broadband that is for her to pay for.

Answer 2

Yes she can if she uses that credit card to purchase food clothing or anything else needed to care for your kids she can surely use your maintenace money to pay the bill. If you have concerns on the kids welfare have a lawyer ook into having a fund set-up to purchase stuff for the kids. Excuse me but are you just stupid or a push-over what are you doing paying for cable, internet, etc if she can't afford these luxuries for herself then she goes without you are divorced help the kids and give her a little alimony but come on now stop paying for her lifestyle.

Answer 3

I am assuming you pay the minimum allowed? If you are paying more then stop, then she won't be able to spend it. You can always take the kids to get a hair cut or shopping for new things, she doesn't have to do it, and then you know the money is going on what they need.

Answer 4

No unfortunately, you cannot dictate how your soon to be ex wife spends her maintenance. You said she is a good mother so be thankful for that. Perhaps you could cut down her money a lttle if you are giving her what you consider to be excessive amounts and use the rest for your children when you are with them.. For eg, clothes shoes and haircuts. just an idea...

Answer 5

Hi ya, yer she can spend the money on credit cards, she also may use the credit cards to buy food and clothing for your children. What she spends the money on is her bussiness, as you said she is a good mum ,i can understand you complaining if you felt that she wasn't looking after them and spending the money on herself and going out. Don't waste time thinking about what she is up too, just get on trying to be a great dad. good luck

Answer 6

You cannot interfere with her choice of spending - like you said she does a great job as a mother and you are not a saint - it is difficult to watch and not feel resentment but you must

Answer 7

You cannot dictate what she spends the money on, however, if you are paying over and above what is deemed sufficient - then stop and seek legal advice.

Answer 8

if you r daft enought to carry on forking out then you must like it especially if you dont want to involve authorities

Answer 9

No you can't dictate how she spends the money.

Answer 10

of course not! fu.ck her with a stick and then bash her with huge colourful rubbers