Right, you don't know me or her. My point is this... I have bailed her out for nearly £11 thousand this year plus £400 per month. I bought a 8 seat bus so I can transport my kids to school, her dad out with us on the weekends. I see my kids every day and put them to bed every night. I give my kids things every day. I pay for gas, electricity and cigarettes for her. I run around and work 60 hours + per week and when I pick up my kids on the weekend to take them out she asks for more. If i object then I get told I cannot see my kids for the weekend. She is on benefits and I give her more than I should...
She does not spend money on the kids, she does not drive, she does not get off her ar*e and do anything unless i give her a lift. I even work from home so that I can be near them in case she is having a bad day and doesn't feel like walking my boy to nursery (1200 yrds)....
She does nothing but squander my kids money.. She spent £40 on a haircut on the Wed and asked me for £60 on sat..
2007-03-09 07:03:47 · 12 answers · asked by sw1ne2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop giving her all the extra money! Pay what you are ordered to pay and if your kids need something like clothes or school supplies, buy them those things yourself.
And yes, she can use the support any way she wants. It's sad that so many custodial parents spend the support money on their own whims and not on the kids.
2007-03-09 07:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We recieve complaints like this at my office all of the time. I can tell you what my officers tell the people who call. You have to pay her the money. It is based on good faith that she is using it for your children and not her personal gain. If she is using the money and not taking care of the children, then she can be charged with neglect. However, if you are bailing her out everytime, then there isn't neglect. Even if it is you who are the who making sure there is no neglect.
We would advise you to contact your attorney, and explain the situation to them. They can then request another court date or meeting with a judge to discuss the problem and try to find a resolution. Short of you gaining the custody of your children, I'm not sure how else you can resolve the situation without the children being neglected. If you quit bailing her out, then she may still use the kids money on herself. In which case your children's needs aren't being met. If you really want to put an end to it, and are willing to take your kids full time, talk with your lawyer to get the ball rolling! (Like I said, I'm not sure where you live, but this is the advice my officers would give someone in our area)
Good luck!
2007-03-09 07:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by jen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be difficult for you or a lawyer to prove that the cash did not go indirectly to the welfare of you children even though from what you have said it obviously doesn't!
I had a similar problem years ago where I was not being allowed access if I did not "stump up" the cash which my ex was using for her nights out but I could not prove that it was actually the cash I handed over!
It sounds to me like she is quite happy with the divorce because you are paying for everything in other words she can have her cake and eat it!
I would suggest you contact your solicitor and check through the divorce decree as to the access agreement and if this is not in place (as mine wasn't) go back to court and get everything regarding access and maintenance sorted and then stick to your side of the agreement strictly i.e. no extra payments or cigarettes etc!
Then if she denies you access she will be in breach of contract and liable to the court.
I know this sounds harsh but it is the only way to sort things out finally and the kids will then be able to see for themselves if need be that you are trying your best!
Worked for me!!!
Good luck
2007-03-09 07:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can use child support for whatever she wants, really.
Anything else you give her or the kids is a "gift." You, of course, are only obiligated to pay court-ordered child support. The rest of the stuff you are doing is the problem, not the child support.
She can NOT prevent you from seeing the kids...if she does...get a court order. She does not have the right, legally or morally to prevent you from seeing the kids...she is using that to manipulate you and you are allowing it.
Get tough back with her and take her to court if she refuses reasonable access to the children.
2007-03-09 07:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Jack 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought of going for custody of your children because she sounds like a selfish b*tch who is lucky that she has got you to bail her out.
Why dont you just start going out and buying clothes and shoes etc for the kids instead of giving her money that way the kids will definetly get things.
Contact a solicitor because it sounds like fraud
2007-03-12 04:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she's as bad a person as you claim she is why haven't you got custody of them?? if she stops you seeing them you can take her to court. what happened to make her like this? i assume she wasn't like this when you were with her.every story has two sides.... im not convinced you're the saint you're trying to make out to be.how many kids do you have if you need 8 seater?? also you must be earning good money if you say you've bailed her out with 11 thousand pounds.something fishy about this
2007-03-09 07:22:03 · answer #6 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would certainly get a lawyer and have her bills examined, you will see she is squandering the money on herself and foolishness. Do not be a slave to her any longer because of the kids. tell social sevices she is getting extra cash and not reporting it. Why don't you try to get custody of the children? you sound like a wonderful father to me and i am sure you would get them. Please go to court and tell them everything, she's making a fool out of you. You have no life except for being a cash cow. best of luck to you!
2007-03-09 07:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes she can & you need to start saying no more often she will soon get fed up of having the kids all weekend if she is as bad as you say so
she is taking you for a mug & knows you are a soft touch
2007-03-09 07:13:07 · answer #8 · answered by miss smidgey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, she has no right to blackmail you with your own kids. seek legal advice! it's not ok for your maintenance money to be going towards her credit cards bills...you've spoilt her and she knows she can get what she wants by moaning, complaining and threatening. i personally think you should get custody of the kids and hire a nanny, it'll do you and them a world of good! and its a lot cheaper too!
2007-03-09 07:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the credit card bills were in-cured caring for your children yes,if the credit card was used for any other things no
2007-03-09 07:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋