My 17 year old son is an embarrassment & out of control. Should I throw him out of the house?

Question

My 17 year old son is out of control. He was never with the popular crowd but when he turned 16 it has been all down hill. When he turned 16 he began referring to himself as the Red Rooster. It is unbelievable and almost indescribable, he does a rooster strut and pecks his nose whenever & wherever he walks, occasionally singing out "c***-a-doodle-do" in a horrid screech. To top it all off he has his hair spiked with a large red protruding ridge in the center of his head.

I've tried to reason with him and explain what he is doing is ridiculous. I can't even go out in public with him anymore. Mind you, this has been going on non-stop for over a year. All he can say for himself is "It shows everyone I can work with my limited ability" - I don't even know what that means.

What would you do if your child started behaving like a human rooster? Would you throw him out of your house?

Answer 1

"It shows everyone I can work with my limited ability" - - I think that (and the entire rooster ordeal) means he has issues with self-esteem/confidence that need to be addressed - - maybe professionally with a therapist.
Don't kick him out. I think that if you address the source of all this, the rooster deal and other embarrassing things will go away.
And he doesn't seem to think he has a talent. You might be able to help him with that. Find something he's good at and help him develop it more. Drawing, painting, carpentry, training dogs, handiwork, and the list could go on forever.

Answer 2

Seems to me that you are very lucky. Most parents are having problems with DRUGS and Booze. Or Anerexia and prostitution. 2 things strike me in your question as interesting. One is "limited ability" That means that he feels he has always dissapointed you or never lived up to expectations. He may even beleive he is inferior. You even confirmed it in your question. "He was never in the popular crowd but when he turned 16 it all went down hill." What is so bad about not being in the popular crowd? Who does this really bother him or YOU? The second is the fact that you are so bothered by this. It is his way of getting you back. A lot of it is 17 year old testosterone. It sets him apart from others and beleive it or not some "chick's dig it." He is trying to find himself and gets to bother you so bad by this. It is a double win for him. What I bring to this is experience. I was this kid and am the parent of a teen. I failed a grade and barley graduated H.S. I also worked my way through Jr. College and College and graduated with honors. Back off a little and support him other than financially and he might suprise you. Don't beleive me? Go see a mental health professional and you will hear the same thing. I wonder if any of the answers that hold you at least partially acountable for your sons behaviors, will be even considered by you in finding a solution? I don't know you or your son but I bet he is smarter and more responsible than you give him credit for. He may feel "Why try if you can't ever satisfy some one." Let this be a wake up call. You both need to get help before your adult relationship ends up being non existant and filled with fights and hatered. I wish you luck with your son and both of your futures.

Answer 3

I'm assuming that he does realize that he is not REALLY a rooster, correct? So this is not some delusion, it's just mearly a way to elicit attention. Adolescents with poor self esteem can act in various ways like, withdrawl, acting out and even attention seeking behaviors...even having a rooster persona.
The fact that he claims to have "limited ability", is a clear sign that he feels less than adequate and taking on this behavior is a way he stands out and finally feels special...no matter how ridiculous it is. That and considering that he did not fit in before with his peers, in his eyes, it may seem like, "If I don't fit in, then I'll stand out."

Unless this is interfering with his daily functioning (grades, school, non compliance, socially, personal hygene etc.), I'm sure the rooster thing a phase he'll eventually grow out of. But, him seeking attention by positive or negative means may not. Therefore, I would not discount therapy, not intended to end the behavior, but instead to increase his self esteem to a point where the behavior is not needed and his own personality is seen adequate in his eyes.

Throwing him out of the house is not the answer, in fact, you are just making the problem worse. Be careful how to deal with him, showing him that he is an "embarassment" and wanting him gone is reacking more havic on his self esteem.
The more accepting you are of your son (doesn't mean you have to love and encourage the rooster behavior) and the more you value his real personality, they better things will get.

Remember, YOUR embarassment should not be your main focus, instead it should remain as your son's overall well being and state of mind.

Answer 4

Please don't give up on your child. He is 17 yrs. old. This may not be a phase. Take him to a doctor for a check up, THEN after the doctor makes a decision or refers him on, you can figure out if it is a phase but take all measures first before you just give up.

It cannot be easy to have a child behave in such a way and I truly feel for you. I would be embarrassed as well so I feel very deeply for you. He feels he has a limited ability, why is this? Who told him such? Is he in school, if so, is he doing well? There must be some reason this sudden change has happened, so I would not give up.

Good luck, wish I could hear what the outcome is.

Answer 5

This Kid is in need of counseling; something is definatley wrong. It may not be that he is "psycho"' however, emotionally he appears way off track, why, I dunno. Maybe a Shrink can figure it out.

Purhaps as time went on he has learned that there is little or no consequences for his behavior, therefore, it will continue. This may be an attention thing, maybe not, he may be ill, maybe not,,,

Try the Shrink first, as that's going on take him around to job hunt and learn some responsibilities; if he elects to screw around and play games (and is not diognosed mentally ill) let him know at 18 he is on his own. My best guess is there is no father figure, am I right? If dad's around what is his take on this? If dads around you should both be on this...

Answer 6

Unless your son is smoking, drinking, having orgies or stealing--something like that--he is not out of control----he wants attention. Some kids, no matter how much they get, crave more. A therapist MAY help-but they are usually so stubborn at that age, that you may as well just take all the pics you can, and 5 years from now, take them out to embarrass him. But all of that is not "out of control"--it's just embarrassing. Why don't you start doing something to attempt to embarrass him? Don a black long wig, and put on some spandex and a cape, and refer to yourself as the SUPER PARENT, or wear a farmers outfit, and tell people you are his keeper. Either way, it is still your child, and though he is acting completely ridiculous, unless he is a threat to you or himself--deal with it. Children deal with their situations every day-he didn't choose who you were, right? Love him and embrace the wacko--maybe having a parent like it won't make it as appealing.

Answer 7

I'd so love it if you were joking.
Please tell me you're joking.
This may be a phase, dear, a phase.
And if it's an illness, all the more reason you should get him some help before he puts himself in the hospital and you feel guilty for getting judgmental instead of unconditionally loving.
This sounds like so many of the kids I've seen while I sub-taught, that I'm SO not concerned!
Good luck!

Answer 8

You can't throw a minor child out of the house, and I doubt that you truly wish to.

He's probably just doing that rebellous, need to stand out thing that teenagers so often do. He'll probably grow out of it.

Still, some professional counseling might be helpful. For him just to make sure he doesn't have some underlying issues. For you just to help you cope. If funding for counseling is an issue, then be aware that some cities have community service organizations that offer family counseling scaled to one's income.

Good luck. And try to convince yourself that it could be worse, because it could.

Answer 9

Tough one... Try taking him (or threaten to anyway) to a shrink. That may tighten up some of the loose bolts in his head. But if he insists on acting the rooster...build him a chicken coop to live in and feed hin grain.

Answer 10

Though I've had my share of problems with each of my six children, none of them has become a Red Rooster.

If this is, in fact, a serious question, you should not throw him out--you should bring him to a doctor for help. The doctor can prescribe meds, and refer your son to a therapist.