She doesn't pay for anything for the kids, these are bank charges / credit card bills that she ran up whilst not working. I give her 400 per month for the kids and for example last month her bank took £120 in charges. I pay the money for the kids, not for her to buy herself catalogue clothes, paint for her new house, her other kid mobile phones, trainers etc. shes not squandering it willy nilly but I want all the money i give to her to go on my kids. She spent 200 recently paying a phone bill for a dating network.. it's not right....
2007-03-09 06:46:39 · 14 answers · asked by sw1ne2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not ALL the money she uses is what you send.... so yeah, she can use it to pay a credit card that she used to buy your child(ren) things too.
you pay what? 400? 600? 900?
ok, lets see...
rent; 1000
electric 300
food 400-600
diapers 75-150 per month (fluctuates when baby is sick or teething)
heat 300
phone/cable 100
auto; (for doctors, dentists, take to school when they miss the bus, pick up when sick, pick up medicines, get food) 200
clothing/shoes/boots 200-400 every 2 to 3 months (seasonal and they grow)
that doesnt even include dental, doctors, glasses, daycare, hair cuts, school supplies, school lunches, school projects, class trips, class pictures, over the counter medicines, prescriptions, laundry det, dish det, cleaners, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, christmas, easter, halloween, tooth fairy, birthdays, etc. and sooo much more.
try calling 1-800- I CANT ADD
2007-03-09 14:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not happening now, but I would like to see who ever is getting the support have to give an accounting of where the money goes. I know that is not how it works, but when you pay your electric bill you know it is for x amount of kwatts. If you pay a credit card you know what was on that credit card. I think there should be a monthly accounting that needs to be turned over to the spouse paying the support. So, abuse does not happen and the children are getting the money. If the children's part of the rent is 1/3 then so be it. If the children part of the electric is 1/3 so be it. Just itemize it out each month. Until that is part of the divoce decree you are getting screwed.
2007-03-09 06:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
so you're a kind generous man who provides for his children?as long as your children are well cared for get what they need and most importantly, feel loved and wanted by you and your ex, the money should be immaterial. 400 a month isnt a lot nowadays. how much does that leave you?she can reclaim her bank charges but really its none of your business what she does with her money.she obviously feels very self-conscious since splitting from you. 400 a month would not cover child care for more than one child so stop acting as if you're doing her a favour. she will have to get help to stop wasting money(the bank can help)she doesnt need to tell you where the moneys gone. you dont want to be with her but you want to control her. maybe this is her way of showing you she doesnt need you any more.stop being so self-righteous.
2007-03-09 07:07:37 · answer #3 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she pay rent? Are the kids not being fed? Do they not wear clothes? If none of her money is helping keep your kids alive..Then maybe you should take the kids from her...She might be using your money for her bills but she has to be using her money to take care of the kids. It doesn't matter where your dollar is going as long as she has enough to feed and keep clothes on them. At least you know that you are doing your part
2007-03-09 06:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, playing devil's advocate here, she is probably just trying to survive. Why not help her get the bank charges back? Have you not seen the news lately? These charges are unlawfull and if u ask the bank nicely they will refund them, up to 7 years back. She can then use the recovered money on the kids! Problem solved, everyone happy.
Incidently, my ex went through a similar phase when she hadn't taken her tablets for depression.
2007-03-09 07:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by Cliff E 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it and honestly it's not right. My husband paid his ex wife for 9 years, of which the last 2 his daughter didn't even live with the ex. He went back to court to fight it and the ex always won because she claimed her residence was the same as her daughter's. She spent the money on alcohol and drugs and until my step daughter's school stepped in and filed a complaint in court, nothing was done about it because it was his word against hers and unfortunately the courts in this state never think a woman does wrong (this is coming from a woman by the way).
I feel for you. I know that in this state documentation on how support money is spent is not required. Good luck and just try to enjoy your kids as much as you can. They grow up so quickly.
2007-03-09 06:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by meandthekids 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She can use the money to pay her credit card bill if she used the credit card to buy things for the kids.
Technically, she has to use the money for something related to supporting the kids (rent, food, clothes for the kids, etc).
In practice, it's pretty hard to trace which of 'your' dollars went where.
2007-03-09 06:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by Bob G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she can.
You might try taking her back to court and have her show where she spent the money. It is very hard to make her account that every penny is for the kids.
How much of the house payment if for the kids? How much electric and cable did they use? Is she staying fit so she can stay alive to be a mother to your children? It gets muddy.
If you wanted to control her life/money/choices, you should have stayed married.
It sounds like "sour grapes" to me. Pay the money and consider it very cheap baby-sitting service.
Spend as much time playing with your children as you can, and say absolutely nothing to them about money. They feel guilty enough.
Invest in a web-cam so you can visit them in "person." Go to their ball-games, and recitals. Be the hero they need.
Move on.
2007-03-09 07:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm I wonder who is paying the kid's rent, buying them food, Giving them lunch money, money for sports/skating/movies/ etc... Heat bill, water bill, toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper, kleenex, tylenol, laundry detergent.... Believe me I could go on and on and on.... 400 a month isn't squat towards monthly finances in running a household.
2007-03-09 06:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by jtaylor1993 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
According to what I was told by my lawyer....as long as my kids are fed, sheltered and clothed..it doesnt matter what the money from my ex is used for....I dont know about your case but if your kids are being taken care of then you really cant say anything.
2007-03-09 06:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by nascargirl216 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋