about 9 years ago i met this wonderful person.well at least i thought he was.my daughter loves him so much.it was her father, well not really her real father did not want to much to do with her.so this guy showed her how to love. how to be happy.i had a pretty ruff life. my father was well TERRIBLE so i had alot of anger with this guy. now i go to therapy and have feelings again. no anger i just want to be happy and love.so about a month ago this guy left told my daughter he would be back in 2 days, and has seen and talked to her for about 20 minutes in a month. yes i still love him , but he went threw this same situation when he was eleven, and his ex stepfather is still in his life.last night his girlfriend called me screaming terrible things, my daughter heard it all.what do i tell her? this guy came to therapy with my daughter over her real dad. the first thing she said she was a scared of was the guy finding someone else and leavingus.butifhe askedmetomarryhim,iwouldsayyesiluvhim
2007-03-09 06:45:38 · 7 answers · asked by awhiteawhite 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He moved out and has someone else...what is that you don't understand?
You are using you daughter as bait to get him back...shame on you!
Want to help your daughter? Get in her in therapy with you and stop throwing him the pity card so he feels sorry for your and gives you attention.
2007-03-09 06:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 3 of you need to go to family counseling.You can fixait on your past , or you can say "my parents were total butts Im better than that and change your ways"all 3 of you.You took a man in to shack up with you for the last 9 yrs.No proof he wouldnt have left if you had married him, but what has your daughter learned from this?He asked you to marry him and he has a girlfriend?Th terrible things the g/f screamed, was there ANY truth in them at all?Be honest.Why shouldnt she be upset too?You all 3 need to go to counseling, and find a good holiness church too while youre at it.United pentecostal churches are good.
2007-03-09 07:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well are you worrued about him leaving you or are you worried for your daughters sake??? If you are worried about him leaving you then i am sorry but you cant controll someone elses feelinngs but if you are worried about your daughter which i hope you are because you need to put your kids before yourself then you cant do that much either. You can try talking to her or get therapy but in the end he still wont be there. If she is depressed then as a mother you wont get through to her but friends will. Invite family friends over or have her friends come over so she will be soical instead of being depressed.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-09 07:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your daughter and listen to her. Let her anger and depressed feeling out. If she cannot talk to you get someone that she loves and respect. If you can get her a doctor that will help her. That is very important that you do not press her into being happy. All you can do is ask someone else for help and pray to God for help
2007-03-09 07:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I feel for you.
Without know the who situation its hard to really say. How long were you together? Is there any chance of getting back together?
All of this is going to take part in your child's healing. She trusted him, gave her his love and she thought he was going to be there for her til the end. She knows how you feel and she's hurting for you too.
Assuming you will never get back together, I would tell your daughter that sometimes people can't get along. reasure her it wasn't because of her and that he loves her. But if he's not comming back I wouldn't allow them to talk unless he is willing to see it to the end. (meaning be part of her life for ever) Giving her false hope is the worst otherwise your going to increase the sadness.
Time will heal the hurt and emptyness inside. But be so careful if you ever date again besure that he is the one before introducing him to your daughter again. Otherwise she will learn to distrust men and possibly you too.
My heart is with you.
2007-03-09 06:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should probably get your daughter into therapy too.
2007-03-09 06:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop using her to get him back.
2007-03-09 06:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by Emily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋