My daughter n- law wants to divorce my son who's currently serving overseas in Iraq. She decided to tell him now rather than 3 mo ago before he left, or rather wait until he's home. Though none of my business & am butting out, I replied to her email to me & had to disagree as this could distract him on his duties, why now? not sooner? she won't divorce him for beneficial reasons she clailms only legal seperation, she said would ruin both there credit?. I said seperation only prolongs the agony of divorce, end it move on. Got good responses other day, would like her to hear yours. she claims several soldiers deployed there whom she wrote? all agreed to tell him now & was not really a selfish act on her part if he knows now, were her words. Would like a 3rd party opinion. mY son has accepted of course but hurt. I have not talked to him lately again I'm butting out but since she asked for feedback from other soldiers would like to foward your opinions to her.
2007-03-09 06:40:40 · 14 answers · asked by nancytg6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry for your son.Did she say why she was divorcing him?I could see if he mistreated her, but I dont get the feeling thats the case here.Ladies, when you marry a man in uniform, realize YOU ARE NOT HIS FIRST RESPONSIBILITY!Keeping the country you live in is his first responsibility and he is on call 24-7.You are ALWAYS 2nd place.That will never change and to get upset and angry after marrying him because he wont break ranks for you is selfish and self centered,This man will come home to a broken home, visit his kids on weekened(if there are any kids involved) , the kids will be brought up in a broken home.It is hard when the man is away for any being of time, but this is where you ladies need to be tough, get together hep each other, this is what "for better or worse till death do we part" meant.It isnt just about you,it's about your family and country,stand behind those guys!Give them soemthing they WANT to come home to.
2007-03-09 06:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a pretty rotten trick of her to mess with his mind like that while he's so far away and can't do anything, like talk to her face to face about it. Did he leave thinking all was well and he'd have a wife to come home to after the hell he is going through? If he did then that's a double kick in the stomach to him. If they already had problems, he may have suspected it and may not be surprised by the news. Well, now he's free to find the company of a nice lady overseas if he so chooses!! By the way, did she give a reason for springing it on him now?
2007-03-09 14:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for her timing - Shame on her if she knew this was going to happen before he left! If this is the case he's better off without het. As for seperating to save their credit - it won't help unless she's counting on him to continue paying her bills.
The way seperation works - they are still responsible for the bills like marriage. That does not change until after a judge divides the debt and assets. Sounds to me like she wants to move on, but keep his paycheck coming in.
2007-03-09 14:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a witch!!
I'm sorry for that. I just can't believe she would go out and do this. It could distract him from what he is doing. He is not out in Hawaii enjoying the sun. He is in the middle of the freaking dessert surrounded by all this danger.
I don't believe that any soldier would had said that this is the perfect time to drop this kind of news on him. She is lying.
I feel for both you and your son.
2007-03-09 14:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by hayde_kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way credit gets ruined in a divorce is if they stop paying their debts. He can remove her from credit obligations if he is the primary on the account and the same goes for her. Are there children involved? If not, why should she reap the financial and medical benefits from her husband? She's the one who wants out.
2007-03-09 14:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, I'm so sorry your son has to deal with this after all he is going through. It is best to move on and start that process as soon as possible. And if she no longer loves him, then as sad as that is for him, it is best not to be with someone who loves you not. It might help them both by having distance between then. With his duties to occupy his mind and his buddies there to talk to and help him, it might be best handled this way. If you son has accepted it then what more do you need. Just be there to listen when he needs to talk. Love him as a mother and don't judge.
2007-03-09 14:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by Pierre Patelin Longshanks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard on the T.V that they would prefer wives or gf's not to break up with the men overseas, it makes them unable to work. and thats how many people are killed by not being able to focus on every detail because of a selfish girl back in the US.. I hope he is able to move on and his soon to be ex-wife is one of the most selfish person to put that on him while he is trying to save HER life.
2007-03-09 14:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to know NOW and he needs her name OFF his life insurance! Soldiers have their own support group. Seems like as his Mother he will need you now. He will get through this. She is a loser he does not need.
2007-03-09 14:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by life coach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is being very selfish. Your son is under enough pressure right now and does not need this added to his worrys.
2007-03-09 14:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The damage has already been done, what does it matter now??
Personally, I would have waited till he got home to tell him.
2007-03-09 14:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by mingcrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋