B*tch using money i give for my kids for her lifestyle, I want to set up a trust fund or buy them stuff direct. Can I do this?
2007-03-09 06:35:07 · 44 answers · asked by sw1ne2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I bet she buys clothes and things for the kids with her credit card!!!
2007-03-09 06:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
I think that anyone who pays child support has a misconception that the money is suppose to go directly on the kids and that's not the case.
Most people pay the support payment, monthly or bi weekly...to make my point, lets just say you pay once a month.
Through out the month we have rent, utilities, food, entertainment, laundry, gas, personal things ( for self and the kids). We use our own money or credit cards for these things throughout the month...so the support payment comes in to help relieve some of that expense.
A child support payment is to help in the support of the children and that includes the rent, utilities, food and anything else that they need during the month.
So, no, she's not wrong in using it to pay her credit card because her credit card is used through out the month to pay for the things that are needed on the days that she doesn't get the support payment.
And, you can set them up a trust fund, but you will still have to pay the child support payment to your ex and you can buy the kids things directly but that has to be done out of your own money and on top of the support payment that goes to her.
Trust me....single parents use everything that have to provide for the kids for the whole month, not just on the day they receive a support payment. Since we provide a roof, utilities, food and 24 hour care, and everything we have goes towards the house and the kids, you can't complain if she chooses to use her credit card through out the month for the expenses and then pay the card payment when she receives the support payment.
Don't you use your credit card to buy things through out the month and then make the payment on it when you get paid??
2007-03-09 06:46:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lani 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, now I don't know the relationship between you and your ex-wife and I'm not a lawyer but I thought I'd just stick my penniesworth in anyway.
Firstly, I hope you don't refer to your ex like that in front of your kids. Secondly, if she's used her credit card to buy stuff for the kids and can prove that, then yes, she can. Thirdly, I think it's admirable that you want to set up a trust fund or buy for them direct. Good on ya! I imagine you want a trust fund that she can't get any control over. I can't see any obstacle in you buying for them direct (just make sure what you're buying for them is appropriate). I think you need to seek professional help, look for any free help you can get, after all, you don't wanna spend your hard earned money that you want to benefit your kids on legal expenses, so it's good to ask in here first. But mate, the best thing you can do for those kids is TRY to have a civil relationship with their mother. It's the kids that are important here and you have to agree on that at least. Good luck with the help seeking legal advice and as long as you put your kids first, it should come out good, even if that means sacrifices on your (and her) parts.
2007-03-09 06:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by nephtine 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She uses the credit card for home expenses, hence kids expenses , so yes, she can use the child support check to pay off the credit card.
About the trust fund and buying things for your children: you can do both of those things . It's a great idea. However, you will still have to send the child support payment .
Setting a trust fund and buying things doesn't free you of your responsibilities.
2007-03-09 06:41:29 · answer #4 · answered by Georgie 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I congratulate you on paying shame my ex doesn't, he owes £32k, and yes i work fulltime before you assume the worst.
As the first answer says perhaps she does pay for clothes on her credit card, you may not like her but don't assume!!
Moan if the kids are hungry
Moan if they are tatty
Moan if the bills aren't being paid
Moan if she's about to be evicted
Ok so she pays the bills with your money and uses the bill money to pay the credit card...swings and roundabouts, i think you need to calm down, and get the notion out of your head along with other absent parents that this money isn't being used for our fabulous lifestyle.
An EX friend used her maintenance to pay for a boob job...moan then!!!
View my blogg, that makes for an interesting read.....
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/law4maintenance/
2007-03-09 06:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by untanuta 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She may be using the credit cards to purchase household items, food, clothing, etc. for the children and their home. She is allowed to do so if it is directly supporting the kids. You have to pay support but can not control where the money is going. I would also consider setting up a trust fund and buying the kids things directly in addition to paying support. It is not up to you to decide where the money goes, it is up to you to pay support. Good Lluck!
2007-03-09 06:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
LOL She can buy a guy with a 12 inch long Wong with your money if she wont's to as long as the kids are doing good.
My ex wife pays me child support and i would love for her to tell me how to spend it.
Do you have any idea what that poor woman is going threw raising that kid . Trust me theres no fun to it at all. You should thank her and stop crying about your precious money its your kid to
2007-03-09 06:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically as long as your kids are cared for and in no danger, then that money can be spent on anything. She has to buy them clothes and pay for a house and a car and groceries that they wear and live in and get places in and eat, so just pay your money and be grateful that your kids are taken care of and move on. Your negative feelings towards your ex are prolly clearly visible to your kids and aren't doing them nor you any good in your relationship with them. Work on being a caring, loving, good dad instead of being bitter...you'll be more happy with your own life when you quit focusing on hers.
I know it's hard to watch but I have been there with many friends whose exes have made things so unbearable for their kids by constantly focusing on the bad of their ex. Does that make any sense?
I'd just pay the money and go on with your life. And be there for your kids when they need you (to talk to or listen or play basketball or whatever)...just be a good dad.
And as far as all the nonsense about paying your kids themselves, yeah umm that's smart if the way your ex spends money pisses you off, try not paying her child support and letting your kids get what they want...they'll have games and skates and barbies but no where to live nor food to eat. Seriously people...
2007-03-09 06:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by productjunkie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What has she bought on her credit cards though......I sometimes use my maintenance to pay my credit cards off, but i've bought food and clothes etc for the kids. not sure if you can set up a trust fund for maintenance payments to go into, as it covers daily living costs for them as well - food, electric, gas, water, mortgage!
2007-03-09 06:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by squeegy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
..if your ordered by the courts to pay her directly do it or you could end up in jail ....she can use the money for what she wants and if you go to court she can say she charges the kids clothes or school supplies on the card and pays the bill when you pay her ...you can set up a trust fund for when they are 18 but until then you have to pay child support according to the courts.
2007-03-09 06:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this may take some work on your part, but when all is said and done, you might have a lower payment, or your kids will get what is theirs.
That is happening to my dad. Not from my mom, but from my step sisters and brothers mothers.
that was confusing, but here's what you do.
you have a regular child support payment. always pay with check, never cash.
log on amonthly basis what you pay her, put in a complaint/order to the courts that states mis use of funds by the mother. (they will tell you which form to use). Talk to the judge in your case, before you tell your ex anything, require her to show proof that 100% of the amount you give her is used on the kids. She will have to show receipts for everything she buys them. She may argue that food and board are what you are paying for, but it's not like she cannot contribute her money to those things and a bigger portion of your money to just the kids.
the judge will see how she is living and you may even get the amount reduced for mis appropriation of funds.
it makes a difference of the age of the kids, if she is not working and you are paying spousal support, this may be a different case.
2007-03-09 06:45:57 · answer #11 · answered by Stamping Machine 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋