what would you do if one of your closest mates sometimes made offensive jokes bout you?? would u say somthing?

Question

i have this friend that is reali close to me. we share everything and i love her to bits. but sumtyms she makes jokes about my family, and sometimes they reali offend me. but i dont no if i shud say somthing, coz i dont want to fite. we only had a fight once, and it was terible, and i dont want it to ahppen agan. i jus try to brush these things past, but it reali makes me angry. i mean, the only person whos allowed to diss my brother is me?? rite. wel das how i feel neways. but i scared she wont undastnd. wot do i do??

Answer 1

How can you think that this person is your friend??

You say you are scared that she won't understand you? That is no way to be feeling. Really she can't be your friend!

Perhaps she is jealous of you and often people who are your 'friend' but are still jealous, try and put you down infront of other people to make themselves feel better.

If she does it again I would say something there and then about it and then walk off. If she/he a true friend then she will apologise.

good luck
xxx

Answer 2

I think you know already that you gotta say something. I mean if what she says makes you feel bad, you gotta say something. You cant let it continue because you'll be miserable if you do. That bad feeling you get when she says bad things about your family.........thats you telling yourself that your boundaries have been stepped over. Every body has boundaries and you need to let people know what those boundaries are. Telling your friend that what shes doing is affecting you in a bad way need not lead to a fight. I mean if youre calm about it and explain to her that you understand that from her end of things shes just joking but that sometimes you sat things that are intended as a joke but they end up causing offence. Tell her you know she doesnt mean any harm but that you would still like her to stop saying things about your family. By saying that to her youve done all you can do to be reasonable. If she responds by getting hostile or tries to start a fight with you, walk away. Like i said, you'll have done all that you can. But do stand up say what needs to be said. Good luck

Answer 3

Yes, you should tell her, but if you do it politely, there's no need for a fight to start.
Tell your friend what you told us - that you just love her to bits, but you love your family too, and it makes you uncomfortable when she makes jokes about them. Remind her that while you may complain about your family sometimes, it's okay because they are YOUR family and there is love underneath the annoyance or frustration. She may joke about your family because it seems like she's defending you, but it just isn't the same because she doesn't know them as well as you do.

Be honest and loving with her, and if she's your friend she'll understand.
Also, please make an effort with your spelling and punctuation if you want to be taken seriously - it's hard for us to help you if we can barely read your post!

Answer 4

You should speak up. As a friend you are doing yourself a disservice and her. You have no right to be angry if you aren't going to say anything to her...she doesn't know this bothers you (apparently).

If you tell her you don't like the jokes, and she keeps making them, then you have a right to be upset and she's not much of a friend.

People who care about you don't want to hurt or offend you...

Answer 5

Maybe she's not aware that what she is saying upsets you so much. On th eother hand maybe she thinks she is close enough, like family to be able to dis your bro. Maybe she fancies him, ever thought of that? If on the other hand she is being a nasty *****, to intentionally upset you then you may have to ask yourself do you really need friends like that? Good Luck!

Answer 6

just tell her.you like her more than a true friend and you will appreciate if she just can respect you as much as you respect the relationship. She will understand. If she cannot even tolerate this respect at least for the sake of your family, just end it.She might just want to make fun of you and your family. do not let this burden burning your heart inside, just let it go by telling the truth to her. Be brave for the sake of yourself and your family.

Answer 7

I av a gang of mates like dat!!! It's really hard 2 sand up 4 myself wiv dem incase we fight (which we do alot) But i realized if dey were really my mates and i trusted dem i wouldn't feel like that so i told em and i realized dey were my mates. So wat u should do is just tell her if u really like her and believe she's a good mate den she willl understand. Sometimes mates get angry ova little stuff so say it in a way so she realizes dat u want her 2 stop and ur not shouting @ her!!!!!!! If she's a good mate she'll unbderstand, but if she gets upset den maybe she aint de good friend u thought!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 8

I true friend should not be making insulting jokes about your family or anything else that concerns you.You must tell her that she is "hurting your feelings". If she does not understand that, then she does not care about your real feelings, and you need a better friend.

Answer 9

You need to tell her a true friend will listen and won't do it again - as your friend she shouldn't be doing it in the first place just have a word and tell her how much it upsets you

Answer 10

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